Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Listen Up Newbies !

That's it.  All I've got to say.  ( Okay maybe not ALL I've got to say)

Lord knows if you been reading my blog I apparently seize every opportunity to do this!  But you know what, unlike a vase that has been broken and glued back together, I am not only stronger,but healthier each time I rebuild.  I am happy with the new/old me. 

No our Dd journey isn't perfect.  Far from it.  Right now I feel sort of stuck in the mud.  I realize this is normal.  I also realize that this will soon lead to a 'new' rebuilding episode--ya might want to skip my blog when this happens because it might not be pretty. 

I am no longer afraid for these opportunities, I almost embrace them- almost, they are quite intense.  I almost embrace them because the other side is so very wonderful--for a time.  Let's face it this is NOT for the faint of heart.

So I know I am in no position to do anything but offer support...but if I were to give out advice,it would be  don't be afraid to fall apart- growth if you are willing to accept it is so worth it!


  1. oh you don't know how true that is. and everytime it seems we have a massive breakdown, at the end of it is a massive break through instead!!

    keep at it... we'll all be here to support you !

    (and you know what to do when i'm having a meltdown too then eh? *hint hint*)

  2. It is so true Fondles! I think the hardest thing is trying to not push away the inevitable. It is hard to learn to tuck and roll, and go with it. The most difficult part is taking the 'leap' into the breakdown pool. But once you've done it, you feel refreshed and awakened.

    Still scary though, because you really don't know how deep the water is each time :)

  3. We all need all the support we can get....I will take it. It has been a rough morning around here. I keep hoping that I will just magically "get it" and will stop doing things that I know are not helping us along on our journey. is still early...determined to get my act together, and salvage the rest of the day! CAUTION: Growth in progress ;)

    Have a great day Wilma :D

  4. I hear ya Lucy!

    It is like a failing diet over here, guess I should say UP here. Every morning I'm say to myself...You've got this. Today will be different. Clean slate. Move forward, don't look to yesterday unless it is to improve on today. Don't beat yourself up. <- Yeah, my inspirational card is printed on bristol board! lol. Perhaps I should put it on a scoll on my computer screen saver! lol..

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I suppose that is all that needs to be said


    Love and an arm up if you need it.


  5. Like that quote a lot! Thanks for sharing it:)

    1. It came from a wise 18 year old's facebook wall this morning. I couldn't believe how well it applied to ttwd.

  6. Ahh.. I think I've fallen apart SO many times and gotten myself back together. All I can say is - There's always tomorrow! (or is that an excuse to procrastinate?) OH well! I was trying to be positive!

    You can do it sounds much better!


    1. It seems a bit of a contradiction to say ‘ fall apart and you will become stronger’. I can understand that if you don’t do ttwd, that it makes no sense to claim we get stronger, and yet fall apart again so quickly. The fact of the matter is there are so many facets to what we experience-so many layers that are peeled back. So many emotions that come to the surface, that it is indeed possible.

      To the outside world we may seem to fall apart over the same issue, and experience the same emotions,but there are many layers in one labeled emotion . I suppose you could say it is like chopping ice ( yes it seems cold here in Canada today). You chop through the same block, but each layer is different. The top layer is actually easier to get through. It gets thicker the deeper the further down you chop, becoming more difficult to get through. This area has been ‘protected’ from the warmth of the sun for so long it does not give way easily.

      Sheesh Wilma blah, blah. Blah,…make another post why don’t you!

  7. Falling apart is an unescapable part of life.
    I have had to rebuild myself so many times that it is a miracle that I still look remotely human. Torn of pieces of me are shattered all over the globe.
    Nowadays, I have a lot of friends who understand and help with the rebuilding.

    1. Absolutely Bas ( um, not refering to your emotional body parts all over the globe). Everyone falls apart during their life time. It is HOW we choose the rebuild that is important.

      I believe the friend aspect is very important in rebuilding. I also think ttwd gives us a better insight into helping those around us rebuild, whether it be here in Blogland or our FTFF.

  8. Hey Wilma,
    I may steal that from you and put it up on my blog. Some great comments here. And yeah, the falling apart bit can be incredibly painful and feel for a while like it will never come back together again. It does, in part because now we have a role to play, "The Submissive". Hopefully, soon it won't be a role, it just will be. I think for us there is a lot more work ahead.
    A suggestion, instead of tucking and rolling (you are basically closing yourself off in that position), try the Kevin Costner on the horse with arms spread during a battle pose, remember "Dances with Wolves". Open and accepting of whatever will come.

  9. Steal away Blue Bird!

    Definitely NOT at the OPEN arms Kevin Costner alla Dances with Wolves stage.

    It is everything I can do to let the waves move this ball around somedays.

    If I had to be truthful, I prefer days where the balloon bursts within a few hours-as opposed to the dayS where the air slowly leaks out. It is a loud startling *POP* and pieces going flying everywhere, but it seems easier to deal with than the annoying hiss of the slow leak.

    Hugs back at ya my dancing buddy!

    1. Oh, I am not there completely yet either. LOL, I just keep trying to imagine it hoping it will just be.
      I like the balloon analogy, but my balloon doesn't seem to slowly release air but sucks it in, until it is stretched so tight the slightest touch will make it burst.

  10. Very good...very very good.

    Now if I can just remember it from day to day. Might actually copy it onto some paper and put it somewhere I can see it!

    I seem to have what you have called the 'annoying hiss of a slow leak' (currently in progress) Heading for a meltdown and I know it. HE is at work, so I have all day to stew, um, get over it I mean.

    Will have to remember this though, that it is ok to fall apart and rebuild yourself the way I wish I had been all along.

    Sorry, hijacked your post with whinging...

    1. Good Grief M3- You NEVER have to worry about writing on MY blog!--Besides what you wrote amounts to a fortune cookie passage compared to what I write on everyone else's blog!

      I am SO in the " Hiss of a slow leak" zone myself. I need to talk to Barney about reconnecting...argh.

  11. Excellent post Willie but ya know, even though newbies might need to learn it, others need to remember it. ;)


    1. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Remember it- like it is going to keep happening?...sputters out wine ! Kidding of course. Growth is an essential part of life- without it, well you'll end up stagnate like I was and our relationship was prior to ttwd.

      I know Cat. It is something to for EVERYONE to remember whether you do what we do or not.

  12. Very well said Wilma - love the quote!

    You are so right. Out of these moments comes a great opportunity for growth and we come out stronger, though that can be hard to remember at the time. You guys have come such a long way, I'm proud of you :)

  13. Why thank you my little Scrappy Coffee Buddy!

    Seems like I can shorten the posts somewhat, but it just ends up coming out in the comment section anyway :)

    Have a restful sleep!

    Love Mighty Mouth!

  14. Ya know what are a wise lady! No kidding. There is so much truth in this and a secret that most of us take a long time figuring out.

  15. Well Susie,

    IF I am indeed wise ( and who in their right mind would argue with you ? ) it is merely because I have the benefit of being guided, reminded, helped, and 'loved' from wiser, more experienced people (no not a crack at anyone's age).

    Williekins...makes me feel like a little teddy bear. Might start calling myself that ( in my head) when I start to pull away from Barney. A Williekin would not do such a thing! Hmmm...might have to do a post on my multiple personalities! Now THAT would be a long one!

  16. I feel like I'm getting in here a little late, but I had to say thank you for posting this. You've given such a wonderful perspective that I'd never considered. I needed this right now. Thanks.

  17. Well hello and welcome Jauquie!

    You are not late, I just posted it 2 days ago. This group is just chatty, okay I am. Plus I can't seem to go more than 2 days without something leading to a post.

    I'm so happy you found something useful in this post or its comments. That is what we are all doing here isn't it? I am sorry though that you need it right now :)

    Please come by often!


  18. "Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along." ~ Rae Smith

    I feel like I should write this 100 times so it sinks in.

    Thank you, Willie. And, thank you for the opportunity to choke on my coffee as I revisited the egg whites post and read all the additional comments. I need to make a big bib to wear before I go calling in blogland!


    1. Well Irishey, as long as the bib is for sputtering out coffee and not tears, bib up!-- I should add I wouldn't be too impressed if you were wasting wine but sputtering it out either *wink*

      I am going off to chant that saying to myself, or stop the slow leak-one or the other.

      Heck, maybe I'll just go reread the egg white post myself!

  19. Hi Wilma,

    I'm new to your blog, but I love this quote! As a newbie I may just post this everywhere :)