Blast from the Past Feature ( more below)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sunday Sex Talk
Alrighty then...nothing like a little sex talk on a Sunday to get your attention. So I've been talking with some of the 'girls' here and the difference with sex since we started ttwd. All have agreed that 'something' has changed. So stepping outside the Wilma box ( mind out of the gutter Emma) I am going to talk about myself.
Many moons (pun intended) ago when Barney and I first got together we were like any other couple. (Vanilla),Hot and horney. I was more the manhunter in this game. Barney used to accused me of trying to kill him :) . Anyway as time went on, I guess I just wore the poor guy out or b!tch slapped him too much outside of the bedroom. I tried everything to gain his attention again.
He'd come home from work and I'd only be wearing an apron.
I got , " Are you sure that is sanitary cooking like that ?"...sigh...so not the point.
One time I bought some see through lingerie and stood beside the t.v. Apparently the sports highlights were more important at the time...sigh...
Black thigh high stilletto boots and garters...sure that got his attention....sorta
We picked up our game here and there, Egg whites on the whoowhoo, and we've had 3 children. (By the way you just look at me and I get pregnant, ask Barney how disappointing THAT is.) But I basically stopped trying, and just waited for attention. Obviously it happened, but not as often as either one of would have liked. There are many factors to consider, small children, Barney's erratic work schedule..life in general. I am sure many of us have been in the same position. After a while the sex became a means to an individual end. The meeting of two bodies, but not necessarily two minds. I don't know how it works for men, but for women, this is less than satisfying.
I am sure if you and your husbands were in the same 'funk' as us, your husbands would say something about not wanting to initiate sex for fear of rejection, before ttwd. When we started discussing Dd, I mentioned to Barney about the not saying no 'rule'. He said, he couldn't imagine why we would need that. PAH!!! THAT
is the one RULE he is most consistent with...lol. So bring on the beginning of ttwd and sex. Well sure it was there, and was um, hot. I suppose the fact that he knew I was not going to reject him helped. Also I no longer wear bottoms to bed, so , well dinner is on the table when he gets home...(um, might have to come back and change that sentence. )
After about a week or so...things started to change. I can't say exactly what. I get the attention I need to achieve the ultimate goal, but the results are different. It takes much longer to achieve said goal, and well the while the reward is there....it is different. On the journey to the destination, I can see a place I really want to go, a place I have yet to venture to....it is like I am reaching, and it is just out of reach. So I stop/settle for the closer destination.
Fear not, I am not sharing here, what Barney and I haven't already talked about. He said he notices that he seems to be leaving me on the edge. LOL...as you well know I seem to perch myself on the edge of everything lately. Thanks for talking me back!
Anyway back to Sunday Sex talk.
A wise ( fellow pervert) friend said to me yesterday that the brain is the biggest sex organ...mine being unusally large...lol...
So I suppose when you factor in all that happens with ttwd, it is no wonder that sometimes the ultimate destination and the reward when you get there alters for a bit. NATURALLY I took the time to over think it.
Here are a few other factors, I believe. Now that I am always at the ready, sometimes I feel detached. I feel like there is a service needed and therefore provided. Not that the driver of the car doesn't provide adequate upkeep, but sometimes due to the time of day/night, things have lagged. I won't go into details because even though we are anonymous...ya know. Suffice to say the connection is not made. Odd really because we are starting to become more affectionate outside of the bedroom. In addition, you know I have been emotionally detached as of late, so that clearly doesn't help matters. In truth the past 2 days, I have actually felt resentful. How horrible is that? Yesterday morning I just up and left right after, and this morning he eventually just stopped- it was like I wasn't even there. I suppose I have lost my ( covering up) coping modes of before ttwd. Now it bothers me that we are not on the same page, whereas before I would just seek out my own satisfaction and his quick release so I could go back to sleep.
Man this is complicated stuff! It is further complicated by the differences between men and women. Men, apparently, crave the physical to support the emotional, while women crave the emotional to provide the physical. So does this mean once I am out of my funk, things will resume the same? To answer that question I decided to perform a little solo experiment. Yeah...still not the same...got closer to the further destination...but nadda. So the biggest sex organ needs to exercise too? Sigh. Good grief!
His Point of View ( before reading my post)
The physical part of sex hasn't changed as I am a guy. I think the mental/physical connection is more part of the female make up. I do find more mental satisfaction now watching the physical reaction that happens from you. ( btw---his physical reaction has changed, I need to do very little at the moment....*wink* nor do I have the opportunity).
Post post reading
I do feel like you are left on the edge at times, but that doesn't mean I felt for the most part you haven't enjoyed it. There seems to be so many more levels in a woman's degree of satisfaction then that of a guy. ( they have degrees too, as we all know)
Alrighty...now this is where I sort have, might have, gotten a bit curt.
" Just because it is more complicated with a woman, doesn't mean you can just fluff it off" on and on...blah bitty blah blah...citing examples....ready, aim, fire---------->
To his credit, this was his reply
" That is an excellent point. You should put those things down in your blog"
" I am not putting those things down in my blog, it is a little too personal" Gah! So exasperating at times. LOL...
So this post really took a weird turn, one I certainly didn't expect, and I don't know how coherent it is at all..but there you have it
Please discuss amongst yourselves..Your comments are always way better than the post anyway *WINK*
Oh, I should note, I don't regret this not saying no rule...I go to bed every night craving his touch....it is just...well .........
at 11:11 AM