Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Blubbering , Butt Burning, and Blogging Barney?

Yes, yes...this one does HAVE a spanking in it........ what is that I hear?


Sigh, I seriously need new friends...lol

BUT before we get to that....


  For the past few days I have been in an emotional fog.  I had something I realized that I need to talk to Barney about.  It was something I have known about for a very long time, but it was very difficult to tell him.  I also realized that I needed to tell him because I felt that knowing something about myself that I wasn't sharing with my husband was  potentially staling ttwd.  Now the subject matter wouldn't seem surprising to some, but the issue with me NOT  telling him meant that I wasn't completely open with my husband and is that not the point of this journey ?-  To be open and to be vulnerable.  To be true to one's self and to our partners?  I will post about the ins and outs of this issue later, once we've talked about it more. 

   So yes I told him, no it didn't go well..or maybe the way I had hoped.  I'm not entirely sure what I expected, but the end result- I felt hurt.  As anyone who practices ttwd can attest to, emotions run high.  This was especially difficult because I felt as if I had laid my self out in my entirety now to my husband and he didn't know what to do or say, thus resulting in my fog. 

  Alright  enough about that as I am planning on a separate post on the reveal later. The reveal's after effects are what is important here.  I ended up spiralling and --- you know what, let's just say this has been me for three days


                              
Clearly, as you can tell by my footwear, I have just vacuuming, but you get the  general idea.

    Flash forward to this morning.  Today was Role Affirmation day, which I personally find an unusal title as there isn't any Role to Affirm as of yet.  Perhaps we should call it Target Practice Tuesday, or Teflon Girl gets Tanned, or in Barney's words "Titanium Butt " gets Tickled ? Today's implement of choice, the rubber strap thing.  Now I will admit the thing does carry a sting--Ooops jumping ahead again

  During my warm up with his hand, Barney and I were talking- well not a full fledged conversation.  It was decided/reminded that perhaps if he had something he wanted to say that I might keep my head more in the game.  He decided on something along these lines...

* I want you to stop worrying about other people, what they say, what they write, how they feel,  how they interpret you...you have no control over this and you worry too much and it makes you miserable. You have to stop. I hate seeing you like this* 

  Okay, that got me crying...the lecture stopped there, but the warm up didn't.. Once the words stopped so did the tears.
  
   Several minutes later I got a severe case of the giggles.

 " Now what?  What is so funny?" chuckling himself, with a few sighs in there.

" I was just thinking of a discussion I was having with_________ the other day,about spankings"

" Okay.....and? " ( still whacking away..thrusting my head forward each time)

" We were talking about the speed of the Role Affirmation spanking, and I said something like, --'It is as if Barney goes  Smack ,One Mississippi, Smack  Two Mississippi, "

Laughter

Then.....

" Okay...is this better? "
 
smacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmack.

" Yes"

" Jesus you do have a titanium butt" ( guess I have to have a hard shell to protect my brains)

Out came the strap. Whacking...whacking...talking a bit. 

" You know, your bum looks really good"

"What?!"   Now who needs to focus ?

" I not a huge change, but there doesn't need to be. I think I can see a difference from last week "( <- Go GOOBers! )

   I understand, that the talking thing is probably more difficult than the spanking thing and to do both together must be very difficult.  I mean that sincerely. Not in the he can't walk and chew gum kind of way.

  As Barney put it later, talking manipulates the situation to bring me to where the spanking is beneficial.  He also said that talking is not his strong suit.  So if anyone out there wants to do a post on 'the lecture' we'd appreciate it - because my mind was still not in the game.  I tried so very hard to concentrate and remember why I was there and what we were trying to accomplish, but without the words from Barney, it is hard.

    After a good while, and more comments about beating me with a feather, even though my bum did not looking like that from his vantage point, he said

" Okay that is enough for today"...LOL. 

The rubber strap thing packs a sting, but it doesn't last..just a TMI FYI.

  It has been decided that Role Affirmation will now take place 2 times a week..because apparently _I_ need it...pfft.  and that next time the old belt will be brought out, and no more OTK, after the warm up.  Perhaps.

So Blubber, check.    Butt Burning check. ......oh yeah-Blogging Barney.

  Don't get too excited, he's not actually going to BLOG, but more comment on blogs now.  He has his own Blogger ID and some of you may have noticed he is following you ....dun dun dun...If he isn't yet, it is because he just started and he is primarily focusing on sites, at the moment, that have the HoH point of view from time to time.   He was more than happy about obtaining his blogger ID because, as he said

" Now I can comment on YOUR blog" <- huh?

55 comments:

  1. Oh dear God....If Ryan ever started commenting....I may die! Truly. I would live in horror as to what he would reveal. My blogland persona of being an angel would be blown....stop laughing Wilma.... ;)

    I think Barney is doing well, considering he is married to teflon tushie...I mean really...if I just had a fraction of your steel hiney I would be thrilled ;)

    I told you this earlier....but I will repeat it because...well because I can....spanking is largely a head game. It is not nearly as much about the pain as we sometimes think that it is. I went through a stage where I was "immune to the spoon"....and once my head got on straight....the pain returned.

    Can I just say I am proud that you keep chugging away and not giving up? This is hard stuff...and you are doing fabulous my friend :D

    Love ya.....

    Lucy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right you have said that before! LOL... Seriously we both know that. Heck if it was only about the pain, I'd just have Barney drop a can of Diet Coke ( ahaaha- sorry inside joke) on my toe and be done with it!

      As for being proud of me for not giving up? What on God's Green Earth are you talking about? I give up every other day...nobody listens to me though :(

      Delete
  2. I actually agree with Barney that you cannot worry about what others say or think.This TTWD is supposed to be different for each of us. What works for one couple is not the same for another, there are just too many human variables.
    I know we are not DD, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. We have spanking, and we care about our relationship. Sometimes we each get hurt feelings, but to me the key is we keep trying.

    Oh and can I say I for one am happy he noticed GOOB is paying off making you have a titanium butt!!
    GO GOOB.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Minelle...for once we weren't talking about ttwd when he was saying those things to me :) But your advice is still great!
      As for taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, as I've said to other non-Dders, at the heart of this is a loving relationship, (Dd is merely a tool) so you are more than qualified to comment on that :)

      Whoa on the titanium butt-lol- I don't think I have that, and certainly NOT in an exercise sense (yet)...he just noticed a difference. Who knows maybe my tan lines are lighter! lol

      Go GOOB!!!

      Delete
  3. Hey Willie,

    Bucko's strong suit is not the lecture either. I've even giggled a few times, though I don't recommend that course of action. Clint's blog has a post about lecturing that may help. I hope everything works out. Talk to you soon.

    Hugs,
    TL

    Congrats on your shapely GOOBster butt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey TL,

      I am sure that in a different household my ONE Mississippi story wouldn't have ended the same, nor would have my giggles. I suppose I should enjoy it while it lasts?

      Thank you for the info about Clint's blog, Barney has already been over there to read that :). Just a case of getting more comfortable perhaps. *OR* and I think this is probably it..I'm just so perfect...LOL...he finds it difficult to lecture me..Let us go with that shall we?

      Delete
  4. A new meaning to "buns of steel"!

    And Barney blogging! Yikes ...I mean yay! I don't know if I want John commenting and reading all my friends blogs...

    P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AGAIN...doubt I have buns of steel, honestly. Perhaps I just need the right head space is all. For the record I have had a passing swat from a friend of mine, which almost sent me into next week, a few years ago and I felt it for a while. ONLY one swat. I'm sure once Barney gets more comfortable I'll be reading back here thinking...ah the good old days :)

      He's not going to blog. He merely can comment under his own ID. He has been reading everyone's blogs for a long time, now you'll know if he stops by. OR not because he is a man of few words.

      Delete
  5. o m geeeeeee!! a lovely soanking AND I am thrilled that Barney is reading out here in Blogland...

    Just stay away from my "H" though.. we don't use words like STRAPS in our house... LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like you don't need straps anyway Emi! This particular one is not to be feared so much...well I shouldn't say that. Today it was okay.

      Delete
    2. Crud - I meant to spell spanking.... LOL I can't type!

      Yeh... I got a serious bottom warming tonight and there was NO straps.. just heavy hands...

      :(

      Delete
    3. I just thought you had some fancy lingo going on their Emi...

      As for your evening..I read your post..I think even I would have ended up like you! wink

      Delete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Wilma,
    I know it can be hard but it sounds like you two are doing well. Barney is including Role Affirmation style Maintenance and that's a good sign toward the longevity of your DD dynamic.
    And welcome Barney! Great to hear there's another HoH contributing and commenting in blogland!
    MrBB

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mr.B

      Thanks for stopping by again. I shall pass on your message to Barney. Who knows maybe you'll be the first comment he makes :)?

      Thank you for the words of encouragement.

      Willie

      Delete
    2. If so, I would be honored to welcome him! :)

      Delete
  8. I don't know if you have checked out Learning Domestic Discipline yet, but Clint has a couple of posts on lecturing. It will take time to see what works. You started after us and are way ahead now. As of this time we have had more spankos spankings than the other ones. You are doing fine Willie. I am channeling Cat here "Be patient!". One day it will hit you like a ton of bricks and it will probably freak you out. LOL! then the next time.....nothing. If you are in this for the long haul, there is time.
    Great job on recognizing that you needed to reveal some things.
    Hugs
    Wilma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blue Bird R/A does not mean we are way ahead of you, trust me. Not that we are comparing anyway..( so everyone can relax) We both know enough that sometimes these things, in the beginning for some, or always for others, have peaks and valleys. You've had so much more 'life' to over come than us.

      A ton of bricks, that is how my reveal came to me. I always knew it was there, but I thought I could keep it to myself, or maybe things would evolve in that direction, so I would never have to admit it. The tons of bricks was how this secret about what I wanted or who I am was holding me back. Keeping me from giving myself completely to Barney and ttwd.

      Thanks for the positive and kind words.

      Hugs back atcha Blue Bird!

      Willie

      Delete
    2. No I am not comparing, just observing. The ton of bricks I was talking about were more directed towards your tush. That seems to be the way some people describe it, again just observing. One day the emotional and physical side of all of this clicks and boom, everything is there.
      The withholding stuff yeah I am there as well. There are 1 or 2 things I am saving up for a later time, a big reveal. It is too early yet.
      Hugs

      Delete
    3. Oh you have a few things too huh ? Well I guess I don't anymore, (zip it you know who) really. Unless I discover more about myself, but what are the chances of that happening right? lol

      I actually knew what you were referring to with the ton of bricks thing, I was just using it in my own way,(because I couldn't comment on the way you meant...yet wink) and that is how my reveal felt when I figured out I was keeping myself from B.
      Who knows tomorrow I might want to use it like this " I feel like dropping a ton of bricks on Barney" LOL..Of course not!

      Delete
  9. "One Mississippi, Two Mississippi" LOL Probably not a good idea to be laughing while OTK...but it is still funny!!

    Twice a week AND the belt? These are some big steps for the Rubbles. I'm a little scared for you.
    Be good my friend!

    And a BIG Welcome Barney! Can't wait to hear what you have to say. ;)


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't lie..you are not scared for me..I can see you smiling from here! lol

      Who knows the belt may come and go too...it is that other thing I am more afraid of.

      As for the One Mississippi he was laughing too! But I honestly couldn't stop giggling. He actually stopped after the rapid fire for a bit.

      Delete
  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello Ms Buns of Steel (Go GOOBer!) -

    Lecturing is definitely a learning process for some men. Be patient and just continue to yield (like that word better than submit) to Barney's authority.

    Barney will figure out what works best for him. He will read Clint's posts on lecturing, probably pop over and read what Bas has to say, stroll over to Mr BB's site, peruse a few others, and maybe send Mick a few questions.

    Once Barney has gathered all his information and decided on his game plan... no more laughing or "One Mississippi, Two Mississippi". It will be more like "Do SMACK you SMACK SMACK understand SMACK SMACK SMACKETY SMACKIEST...Answer SMACKSMACKSMACK me SMACKSMACKSMACKSMACK" After it's all over, you'll be singing in your head "Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end..." (You can thank Stormy for the SMACKETY and SMACKIEST - I borrowed those terms from one of her posts. lol)

    Get your head out of the fog and remember the "patience dance" - this might be the time you two are doing the side step. There will also be more forward steps, side steps, and back steps - even 20 years from now. Patience grasshopper. ;)

    Blessings,
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
  12. PS - If he hasn't visited already, send Barney over to Ward and June's and Ian and Lillie's - Ward and Ian are both very good with words.

    Of course, you can always have him email me - betcha I've heard enough lectures that I could give him some ideas. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies


    1. Oh Cat he has been all over blog land since we started ttwd. Now he will just be under his Barney Rubble Id as opposed to mine.

      Now who in the world would lecture you? I'm sure you're an angel.

      Delete
    2. Ya know, I keep telling people I'm an angel and that comment just seems to garner laughing and eye rolling... some people just have the strangest sense of humor *shaking head*. ;)

      Delete
    3. Willie here ( on Barney's thing...man this is going to get annoying)

      I so feel your pain! About the angel thing. CLEARLY we are two misunderstood souls. I thought my friends were more observant. I mean how much more OBVIOUS can it be?

      Delete
  13. Sorry your conversation didn't go as planned. I had a bit of that not too long ago myself. I think some of it comes from plotting it out in our heads so many times trying to get up our nerve and then when anything deviates from what we had in our head, it feels wrong.

    As far as the lecture, it depends on what the spanking is for. If it's for punishment, it's all about what was wrong, why it's not good for me/us/our family and the changes he wants to see. If it's role affirmation, it isn't so much a lecture as him talking about how things are going, what I've been doing good at, what I need to work on, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  14. yeah, yeah, yeah...things are improving at your house:) Oh and congrats on your smokin rear too:) Proud of your Goober:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL...

      Smokin' Rear? In what sense? LOL

      Delete
    2. Ohhhhh, no double entendre intended...he said your stairs were doing your rear good darlin...that's all I meant.

      Delete
    3. Oh my gosh, Bea - "smokin rear" made me laugh out loud. I know what you meant but that was awfully funny! :) :)

      Delete
  15. Buns of Steel...One Mississippi...

    Oh my gosh Willie..you got the giggles!

    Lectures...hmmmm. Not my favourite part...

    We USED to have the before lecture, which was the reasons why I was OTB. NOW we have a continuing lecture (unless he runs out of things to say and needs to rethink while still spanking) as I kept forgetting the reasons I was there. Well, hey, they mounted up, hard to keep track of everything...Now I also have to count. HE also expects me to be able, at the end to say the reasons why I was there in the first place, and what he now should expect.

    Spanking and lecturing has just got harder. Maybe Barney will read this and think it is a good idea :)

    Then not only will we have buns of steel in common but the lecture phase too :)

    So twice a week...Poor Willie (chuckle chuckle..no seriously...poor Willie)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Twice a week...time will tell.Okay so that sounds like I am poking the bear, but I have to learn to just wait and see :)

      Buns of Steel I seriously doubt that. Just a wandering mind. Shocking revelation that is isn't it?

      The lectures will come. Ya know IF I ever misbehave ( wink )

      Delete
    2. OH Willie, your halo's so shiny it will never slip! chuckle chuckle :)

      Delete
    3. THANK YOU! Finally someone who believes in me :)

      Delete
  16. Hi, Willie. I saw this post go up yesterday right after I got online on the laptop, and tried to comment several times, but it kept blinking out on me. I finally gave up and shut down the laptop.

    I read all the comments here, and it looks as though all the wisdom I intended to impart is already here, so I'll refrain from repeating the weak witticism I wrote, just send hugs, and leave it at that. (You did great with the alliteration! ;-) )

    {Hugs} ...and grins!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Isishey!

      I hate when you say you had more to say but you didn't :( Obviously repetition is needed for me to get it through my thick skull. LOL

      Sorry you had such a hard time commenting yesterday. I have wanted to pitch my computer out the window several times in the past week!

      Huggin' and Grinn' Back!

      Willie

      Delete
  17. I'm beginning to wonder if BIKSS wants his own BLOGGER id to post on my blog. He already has on problem commenting on stuff cos he can leave a comment as BIKSS without having a google ID.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well asking him should clear that up ( wink ).

      I was actually surprised that Barney wanted his own. Now time will tell if he actually uses it or not.

      Delete
  18. Hi Wilma, I'm sorry your conversation didn't go as you hoped. Perhaps Barney needed time to digest? Have you managed to talk it through more fully yet? I hope you are having a nice soothing coffee.

    As for lecturing - something Rick is VERY good at - Argh - careful what you wish for! Hmm, perhaps I should ask him to post on the subject. Clint has a very good post on it over on Learning Domestic Discipline (although not sure how to access it now they have their new site up).

    Hey girl, didn't I warn ya GOOBer might tone you butt nicely and encourage Barney to give it some attention? Lol ... I guess if it distracts him that may be a good thing :)

    I noticed Mr Rubble had "followed" us. Yay!

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. Hi Roz!

      Yes he did need time to digest, and a little more info. We haven't had time to talk yet, in private. We'll get to it. There is no 911 anymore now that it is out, and I know somewhat that he is mulling the information over. I just needed some reassurance is all.

      Oh, I think Rick doing a post on lecturing is a great idea. More perspectives the better. Clint's article is great, but doesn't really suit Barney. What I mean to say is the ideas are fantastic, but the presentation didn't feel right to either of us. I know it is a very personal thing and organic, but sometimes a jumping off point that can be found somewhere else is a good thing.

      I have to say, I suppose the compliment in that situation was nice. Of course gravity was on my side!

      And watching out for that following Mr. Rubble!

      Good night!

      Willie

      Delete
  19. These poor guys! I can go from sullen to crying (those lectures are awful) to giggling (though not usually DURING a spanking you noodlehead) and then back to crying. MM thinks my head might blow up someday and figures he'd better just spank till I regain some sort of equilibrium. Yikes!

    We women are pretty incomprehensible sometimes, but hey, that's part of our charm right?

    So much for your "one mississippi" spankings. :)

    The lecture thing--some men seem to be naturals but many of them struggle with it. MM does it sometimes and it is effective. He says it is pretty hard to do. He is concentrating on smacking me without damaging me and to then add a conversation takes some work.

    Welcome to blogland Barney!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a noodlehead. I'll admit it.

      Honestly, it was probably more of a reaction to the crying I had been doing prior -Not from the physical, but because I had more of a release from all that was in my heart ( okay that sounded cheesy). You know a cover up copying skill?

      I swear I give Barney whiplash all the time with my emotions. More so since we started ttwd. Actually that is probably not true, same whiplash, different emotions. Where there was once anger, there is now hurt. There are WAY more giggle moments now, and lots of snorting ( so attractive) I just have to refrain from Giggle moments OTK.

      I know he will work out the lecture thing in his own way and time.

      Thanks for taking the time Susie. I know you are one busy lady!

      Willie

      Delete
    2. Oh no, I know exactly what you mean. I start laughing and I don't know why. He just stares at me incomprehensibly...then in moments I often go straight back to crying. It's all part of releasing so keep it sincere and chuckle away while he's spanking...just get ready for more swattage.

      I appreciate that there are more and more noodleheads in blogland. Makes me feel like I'm in good, if nutty company.

      Really am going to go back to work now. Promise.

      Delete
  20. I meant to add Mr BB also has an excellent article on his blog with a link to it on the left hand side - the sit down discussion.

    Love and Hugs
    Roz

    ps - starting to feel Christmassy now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! A Christmas Scrappy! Whoo Hoo!

      It is finally snowing here today. Good bye RAIN. I doubt it will last but I'll take if for now. I guess you don't really associate snow with Christmas...lol

      I will have Barney go over to Mr. B's website. I have read it all, but I am not sure if he has. Either way, repetition is a good thing at times.

      Ho Ho Ho Roz!

      Delete
  21. Oh no, a real Titanium Butt?
    Poor Barney, he will have to Get of his Butt and Exercise his arms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I really don't believe that I have a titanium butt, more like a distracted mind.

      Barney is starting his GOOB challenge today- I might have to see what body areas he focuses on just incase.

      Delete
  22. I am so happy to see Barney commenting on blogs. I remember being shocked that Ian would grab the laptop and read or gasp....comment.
    Most of what he comments or in the posts we have done, he dictates and I form it into a post - but we have lot of fun doing it.
    Glad to hear that things are going well.
    hugs
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
  23. Well saying and doing are two different things :) Time will tell I suppose.

    Thanks Lillie

    Willie

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mine, mine! Have him comment on mine! Then Will may comment more, then they can become HOH BFF's!!

    Oh...and awesome post, you two are so great.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well his first blog comment was on ( drum roll please)


      New Bea's Iceberg Post !

      Delete