Friday, May 24, 2013

Mocking and Venomous Vent

For those of you who didn't know, ( or notice, that hurts! lol) I was away for 6 glorious days!  No I wasn't on the beach, and I wasn't needing a vacation from the 'men' of my house, BUT I did get to visit family.  I LOVE my family.  I live a long enough journey away from them that  I don't usually venture North to visit over the winter months...easy - Canada is NOT like this where I live


 
 
It can however look like this at times
 
 
 
 
 
Right, back to my family.  I was visiting not one but 4 women in my family, ( and 2 'little' women).  What could possibly go wrong there?  I was given only one 'rule' to follow, which of course I did.  I know dream big Willie.  It is just that, well maybe my sassiness factor might have been super charged due to all the face time I had with like DNA. 
 
I did have a semi eventful journey home, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't that bad.  I was happy to be home with my men -even if Barney hadn't figured out what we were going to eat! lol.  A gourmet dinner of hotdogs fresh from the freezer it was, ( not even sure if you have to freeze wieners ?). I was informed in bed that night, two things 1) he missed my bum~ okay this is odd to me because unlike a lot of your men out there Barney doesn't smack, pat, grope, flick,  or even acknowledge that I have a bum outside of our bedroom and 2) that we were going to be reacquainted the next day.  ..( let me apologize in advance here for those who have 'heard' me rant about his choice of words already)...
 
~ Prelude to a Spanking~
 
 I was laying in bed with my HoH.  He had made some comment about missing my bum...pfft.  (Remember he NEVER touches it outside of the bedroom).   I do believe I might have made that sound.  Um, I did not my bum.  Anyway, he then said,
" Well tomorrow we shall have a "reacquaintance' session."  Now just what the heck kind of R is that for R/A?  I've heard of reset, reconnection, role affirmation ...never reacquaintance . Is that even a word? I mean my spell check says NO.  WHO is actually getting reacquainted anyway?   How is HE going to be reacquainted exactly???  I think I am going to be the only one being reacquainted...with the paddle, reacquainted with the Arnica Gel, reacquainted with a tender tooshie. I suppose he is going to become reacquainted with his wife's sassy comments otk, Perhaps his spanker shoulder pain?
 
  I said something to the effect of , " Well you can try to ease me back 'in' to it if you want".  I also mentioned something about remembering to print a picture off of the internet of this actor I find rather, yummy and taping it to the spot on the floor where I usually stare when getting spanked.
 
 ~ Sassy No Pants gets Spanked oops sorry Reacquainted ~
 
 The next morning, when I was due to be 'reacquainted' I slipped on my "good girl' undies, literally-they are even bedazzled.
Um same undies, pretty sure they don't LOOK the same on me!
 
  I got into postion, he looked down and  laughed. 
 
Oh they were a set", ( he's seen the bad girl ones already).  "I better take these off they are distracting me." ( he chuckled again and mumbled "good girl" in a mocking fashionThe nerve!) He asked me if I was indeed a good girl while I was away...Ohhhhhhhhh sure 5 women who share DNA with me, we were all perfect angels!  I calmly questioned how I couldn't I be?  ( insert eye roll) Actually I drank LESS than my daily allotment of wine ( did you know you could attend a fondue and NOT have a screaming headache the next day?  Me either!)

He then began to rub my bottom.  I did mention I was gone for 6 days right?  So he was rubbing away.  Finally, I looked back and said,
 
" I'm not a magic lamp you know? You aren't going to get 3 wishes by rubbing me so much"
 
 
(I too found it odd that he dug out his MC Hammer pants for my re acquaintance meeting- probably didn't do laundry while I was away.)
 
He laughed and made some comment about being in control here and not needing 3 wishes...pfft.  Anyway back to rubbing and then he sarcastically said,
 
" I wish............  I wish you weren't such a smart ass "  we both burst out laughing
 
So off to the races he went.  After a while I said,
 
  "You know I really should tape a picture of ( hot actor dude) down here, that way I won't notice all the dog hair on the bedroom floor"
 
" Well you should really vacuum" Options
 
" I just got home LAST night." ( spanking still going on at this point) " Clearly that fell under your duties while I was away for a week. I think we should discuss how you are not doing your chores"
To which I heard some sort of

" Oh my God you are SO sassy" followed by  
"Honestly? Why do you do this to me titanium butt?"
 Even though I was spanked with a brush and bath brush, well I could have spanked harder with a feather! He claimed that my back end looked 'awful' ( wait just a minute, I was assuming he was talking about my skin colouring back there!) so he said enough.
 
He said something about nothing now until next Tuesday? ( We are going away with the boys to a cottage for the weekend but this was days before that)  I mean HOW on earth are we going to manage summer vacation? The boys will be around forever.  Before I got up I said..." Sweet! I'm free" in reference to being preplanned spank free until a week from now.
 
After, and I wasn't in a bad mood before, and honestly he didn't leave me in an angry mood either,( he didn't even get me to that point) I started to notice things that irked me:
 

He said that he still has to change the tires on the van...GRRRR...I needed the van  the following 2 days, WHY didn't he do that earlier?

I had asked him to check on something I knew we needed for this weekend, which he didn't do until I reminded him THAT DAY...so then he had to go get THAT too

 
NO milk ....which he apparently knew about the day before.

On his way out for the day to see about all of the things that weren't done he noticed he left the door unlocked on the van over night and someone went through it. Fortunately nothing important was taken just  some change.
 
STILL....ARGH!!!! After he left I noticed a form that he and our oldest son were going to fill out last week was still sitting on the dining room table!!
 
Honestly!  Lead me fearless Leader!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
Since I wrote this ( actually a venom releasing email, I'm sure you  know to who by now) The van tires have been changed.  I have a place to sleep this weekend ( that was the THING he was supposed to check on) .  We are starting to build up our ashtray of change again.  The milk? Well we probably need more again, but he did go buy some.  And the form? Still there.
 
I have no idea why I 'turned' on Barney- silently in my head.  I was okay after I composed my email of venomous venting,

 (btw the email I received back in response to this vent, SO WON the commiseration 'competition'
lol). 
 
I still feel sassy and testing-like.  Example tonight after dinner, Barney was cleaning the kitchen, ( that is our thing, I cook,he cleans) I sat at the kitchen island  painting my toe nails.  Wait that sounds horrid. Get that visual out of your head.  I was in a chair at the island, feet no where NEAR the counter.  Barney bent down to put something away in the pantry, and I put my foot near him, (okay in his face) and jokingly commanded
 

(not my foot)


 "blow"

 
 
( yeah I should have known better than to say blow to a man!).

40 comments:

  1. Sounds like the two ofyou banter a lot together and I loved the part him rubbing your butt and saying the will be no wishes now that is someting Bobbie would say.
    Intertaining post

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bob!

      I'm happy to entertain, both you AND Barney! Sounds like Bobbie and I would get along smashingly!

      willie

      Delete
  2. Wow, you are sassy, aren't you? LOL.

    I'm feisty when I return from trips, or as my ogre says "or from the mailbox". Ha.

    Glad you're all reacquainted. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Stormy,

      Barney would say my trip over his knee is the trip that makes me the sassiest. Or well perhaps my trip out of bed in the morning until I go to sleep at night?

      Sassy, sassy!

      Delete
  3. OMG you had me dying with the MC Hammer pants Willie. For reals?! LOL

    Transitions are tough...and like you said, all that familial estrogen doesn't help! (Probably neither does the 'no more spankings until Tuesday' disclaimer lol) but getting 'reacquainted' is an important first step. However...I wonder what term he'll come up with for when you return from your next trip, since he'll be with you this time??

    Safe travels! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tess!

      You lovin' the MC Hammer? Why not add a little singing to your repertoire at your house. Sing a little " Can't touch this" and see how well that goes over with Jake? lol

      I am home from our latest trip, but he stayed behind for a day. I'll let you know how it goes. Betcha can't wait!

      willie

      Delete
  4. Dear God in heaven....I just live vicariously through you! Yes, I am sassy...and feisty...and okay, okay mouthy....but *YOU* and that supposed halo of yours....I think are being outed here.

    I nearly snorted my diet coke all over the laptop reading about the "blow" comment. Well, here is hoping trip two goes smoothly....and uh, you are able to keep your "halo" intact. Although really, you are the only one who claims you have one....I am going to need some sort of evidence it *really* exists! ;)

    Love ya.....

    ~Lucy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well the halo and the fact or not whether they were in tact the entire time might be a 50/50 split.

      You know, the funny thing about the blow comment, Barney seemed more focused on something else, and not my 'sassiness' at the time. ( making mental note for future...wink)

      love ya buckets too!
      willie

      Delete
  5. Well that was a real "butterfly" post, that's for sure. Willie, how can you possibly hold a conversation whilst being whopped with the bath brush?!!! It sends me demented in 30 seconds! Talk about a deeply bruising legacy!

    Liked the knickers! Looked comfy.

    Lists dear. Lists. You can then tick off things you've done. (Or rather he can! Get him trained! - I can hear the gasps! And yes, I get lists all the time! You should see today's!) Stick one version to his steering wheel and another to the kettle! Solved!

    Hot dogs in freezer?! Golly!

    Loved the toenails! Can you do that? I always get a great big glob of polish and it then looks awful. If you can, I'm very impressed.

    Glad you had a wonderful time at your sister's. Must be quite a change being in a girlie household.

    (OH GOOD GRIEF - MY SON JUST LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER AND READ THE FIRST LINE OF TESS'S COMMENT ABOVE - GULP!! LUCKILY HE READ NO FURTHER!! I'VE TOLD HIM I'LL KILL HIM IF HE DOES THAT AGAIN!! I THOUGHT HE WAS IN THE KITCHEN!!

    This has thrown me completely and I can't think of any more 'clever' comments. Good that your 'reacquaintance' went well.

    Hugs

    Ami

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not so certain my reacquaintance went well.

      I have never tried on my own feet for those swirls, but I would suggest you buy a fine tipped artists' brush if you want to try, and touch it to a paper towel before trying to swirl it on your toes. You can ask LilMrs. She has the experience to help

      As for talking while being spanked, it is usually in between strikes, or when he is switching implements that I offer tid bits! When the wood is making a connection to my backend, I don't say anything :)

      Sorry about your son's nosiness at the most inopportune moment! Hope you have recovered.
      love, willie

      Delete
  6. Your banter and sassiness seems so much more...adorable than the lip that my husband has been subjected to lately - it sounds a lot like flirting *wink wink*

    I have a hard time picturing Barney in harem pants.....but the visual of either your husband or mine sporting a pair of white ones made me laugh at my laptop.

    Love and hugs to you both,
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, Ian in harem pants? Overseeing young lads picking rocks. Not so intimidating. bwahahaha. Of course thinking such things and encouraging others to think that way about their husbands is probably not a good...ah scrap that, its darn funny!!!

      As for our banter, well it was an R/a session ( apparently the R can be anything) so the banter was fine, I guess? Not sure if it would be appreciated in a punishment setting though.

      Love and hugs back to the both of you too!
      willie

      Delete
  7. You make me smile Willie! I love your style!

    Hope you have a fantastic weekend! And go get a tilt wand - they're silent but stingy - but since Barney has a "light hand" like my hubby, they're fun! ;)

    ((hugs))
    Cali

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Cali...LOL...Barney isn't normally I " light hand" at all, and our 'sessions' are quite lengthy generally speaking. This was an odd experience. It has only happened once before. A friend suggested it was because he had missed me being at home, so it was difficult to spank me. Let's go with that shall we?

      We have never used a tilt wand, but before you started reading blogs Barney used to wake me up after work to spank me with a plastic coat hanger and it did sting. Mostly it just made me angry. We both find the wood or leather paddle, but mostly the wood, gets me to where I need to be best.

      But ya know, you go ahead and have fun with that tilt wand! wink
      love, willie

      Delete
  8. You are a feisty thing aren't you! Lil miss sassy pants! And good girl panties? Really?!?! Lol!
    I totally understand though. I get quite impatient with Hubby too. (((Hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Stranger ( although look who's talking I haven't been around much either)

      Moi? Feisty? Pffft. Cheeky, pun most definitely intended, perhaps.

      I'm not sure I'll ever be 'broken' of the impatient with hubby thing, sadly enough. I will give it my best effort though.

      willie

      Delete
  9. Hi Willie. Great post! It's always good to hear from you, especially when your spirits are high! BTW, I absolutely love the picture of the cow!!! It made me smile :-)

    George





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww thanks George. I loved that the guy had a toque on in the cow picture.

      willie

      Delete
  10. I am training my son right now to work off a list, it's to late for Rooster, probably for Barney as well. Lillie did win, her post made me laugh and then cry. Yours made me laugh and sigh with frustrated understanding.
    Glad it was a good time with your family and very glad Barney insisted on a reacquaintence session so quickly after you got back. : ) I like the term!
    Blue Bird

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lists work around here and normally Barney asks me what I would like to see done. These things were things he TOLD me he was going to do while I was away. I didn't think handing him a list of the things he told me was a good idea, or well necessary. Wrong on both accounts.

      Of course you like the term Blue Bird, you are always on his 'side' bwhahaha!
      love ya,
      willie

      Delete
  11. This post made me lol. Seeing as I am out of town, I wonder what will still need to be done when I get back.
    Have a fun weekend!
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear Sarah, I think from now on I am going to expect nothing and maybe be pleasantly surprised one time. BUT in his defence almost everything did get done before we had to leave, so no harm done :)

      I did have a WONDERFUL weekend, with so many laughs! Thank you.
      willie

      Delete
  12. Oh my goodness, Willie!!! You make me laugh so much. I understand all of those frustrations...sigh. I love your "sassyness" (is that a word??? lol), and I think I even felt sassier myself after reading this...maybe not good for me to live so vicariously through your fun self lol

    -Marie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, no,no,no, Marie! Please don't get sassier after reading my posts. Try and remember Barney is a different kind of HoH. Perhaps think as you read my posts, or after, what your husband would do in that situation. That might deflate your sassy balloon a tad.

      I am happy however that you laughed!

      willie

      Delete
  13. I get it. :)

    Cute angry but fun and kinda loving post.

    Elisa Xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey YOU!

      You did get it! There was all of those things happening the day I wrote this post. Not sure I'd describe the anger as cute, but it wasn't a full blown anger that is for sure!
      love, willie

      Delete
  14. Okay, here goes nuthin'. While you are busy trying to define, try on for size, and fill your own role, Barney is doing the same. He doesn't have it internalized to the point where it is intrinsic to his character, he still has to think about it, but he forgets to think about it all the time.

    Clearly, he eased up while you were gone, took off his hat or forgot he was wearing it. That happens at other times, too. It's going to take time for all of this leader business to become so ingrained in his nature that he rarely, if ever, lays off on maintaining very high leadership standards for himself and his conduct.

    Think of it as if the two of you worked together as peers, equals doing the same job. Then he is promoted to your immediate supervisor. New dynamic. Same guy, but both your roles and subsequent dealings with one another must change. Growing pains are inevitable as he assumes the mantle of leadership, especially with a "subordinate" so familiar to him, and vice-versa as you learn to accept his direction.

    Good staff never let new supervisors fall. They show them the ropes, tell them what they need from a boss in order to best do their jobs, support them, offer honest feedback when mistakes are made. In return, a good boss listens to their concerns, facilitates their efforts, and always has their backs. He also maintains the standards of conduct, sets the example, and challenges his staff by raising the bar of excellence.

    Both sides are forgiving when they encounter speed bumps and potholes, stub a toe or break a nail - as long as mutual loyalty, respect and team philosophy continues.

    Sometimes the boss must make hard, unpopular decisions. Sometimes the employee had to stand their ground, or suck it up other times. As long as all parties sustain the synergy of working toward the common goals within a respectful framework, lapses can be properly addressed and satisfactorily resolved.

    I know this was long-winded, but hope it wasn't too generic, or so simple and elementary that I offended you by reiterating things I am positive you already know. Sometimes it helps to hear things again, or have it mentioned in a different way. I can sum it all up by just saying not to be too hard on yourselves, on either of you. Easier said than done. :-)

    Ceding the floor now, except to say I am so happy you for to spend time with your femme-familia. I really miss mine. Hugs!

    Irishey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WELL I NEVER !!! lol

      Just kidding. I think that is a wonderful assessment. It is difficult at times to figure all this stuff out, even if you have figured out the same thing over and over and over again before. Sometimes we just 'forget' or tell the little ( reasonable) voice inside us to stick a sock in it. Thank goodness I can't do that to you, and that you mention these things again periodically.

      I had such a good time with my Feminine DNA Sharers. I am absolutely crazy about all of them! I know how the missing feels and coming back home is always bitter sweet.

      Hugging ya too lady!
      willie

      Delete
    2. You give me such wonderful opportunities to remind myself of all these things I spout! Especially when I get exasperated with certain things my D does or doesn't do/say/get, but keep on loving him through the aggravation and laughing with him about other things. Sticking a sock in it while biting my tongue as we speak...errr... you know what I mean. ;-)

      Delete
    3. I know EXACTLY what you mean at this VERY moment!

      Delete
  15. LOL when you mentioned you needed to put on your good girl undies I didn't know you really had a pair that said that! Very cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaa! I so understand why you wouldn't think that. As time goes on and you get to know me better, you'll well KNOW, something is up when I write that kind of thing again! lol

      Barney is quite fond of those undies! I hope it isn't because of the irony 'behind' them!

      Delete
  16. LoL Willie,

    I love the banter between you two. You cracked me up with the genie comment and posting a picture of hot actor on the floor. Love the cute undies!

    I'm glad you had a great time with family and since I am a little late to this, hope you having a fabulous weekend away ... and not getting into any mischief and giving Barney a reason to bring spanking forward from tuesday! Who am I kidding? LoL

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who *are* you kidding? Of course I didn't get into any 'mischief' ( Well played btw my friend. Well played)! Please feel free NOT to ask the other couple what their interpretation was, after all it is only Barney's opinion that matters right?

      Hope to catch up with you soon!
      love, willie

      Delete
  17. Willie, you're just flat out awesome. LOL You're not a genie, I laughed soooooo hard! The Duke was rubbing away the other night, and I wasn't sure why, I so wish I'd thought of that line myself. LOL

    Love your foot, so pretty! Yeah, saying blow to a man... hmmm, rethink that one. LOL

    And it's true, it can be so hard to follow when the one leading isn't keeping up at all. But I'm glad you both found all the humour in it, and that he's gotten those things done so that you can relax. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm awesome? Can I quote you on that? you know if Barney ever decides that I am NOT cute and funny? lol

      Yes it is difficult when you are the one historically to crack the whip, and things faulter. But I am learning to see the other side of things now too. He certainly doesn't show his frustration with me, so I was trying to refrain myself. I wasn't 'toooooo' bad at it..LOL

      Delete
  18. I love your sassy comments. They make me laugh and are some wonderful one liners. Maybe you and Barney should take this act on the road. You'd make a mint. :D If you are saying blow to a man, just be careful what you wish for. :D

    Love and hugs,
    TL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our spanking act? Interesting. I wonder if Yuk Yuks would take us? Not sure I want to be OTK for the whole 'show' bwahahaha!

      Well if I say blow to a man, and he GIVES me what I wish for, that shouldn't be a problem should it? wink

      love back at ya!
      willie

      Delete
  19. Ahhh, so sweet how you show your husband that you missed him. Just letting him know all the things that he didn't do as a reminder of how important you are. I bet Barney's hands were twitching.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well he seems to have 'something' going on right now after reading the other blogger's post! Grrrrrrrrrrr...

      But I must say your comment made me laugh!

      Delete