Monday, June 10, 2013

Wilma. Gepetto ? Is there a difference?

Well, while some of you are off using your cute little hands to make puppets,


 
(Susie and Stormy get first pick...the rest of you can fight for the remaining)
 
It would appear I am back to my old tricks....
 
 
 
 
 
 
Don't get me wrong, life around this cave has been pretty good.  We went out this weekend with friends and heard some great music. On Friday I managed to get a good chunk of my volunteer work done.  I also managed to clean out and plant my gardens.  *I* I*I*...No I don't mean *I* was the only one working. I mean of the things I just listed, the majority were about me.  That is how I have been viewing things I suppose.  Maybe I didn't rein myself back in as much as I thought I had before the weekend. 
 
Truthfully I didn't give ttwd much thought over the weekend.  I didn't have to.  I was alone during the day and we were with others at night.  When the waitress came to ask me if I'd like another drink, I tried to grab Barney's attention to see if it was okay, ( again NOT a rule), but he didn't notice.  Me being me however, in his defence, was probably too subtle.
 
 
( oh side note...detour...funny antidote...We were out with friends Dan and Roseanne.  Dan is an alpha male ALL the way.  Anyway, the waitress came by and he mentioned that we had been going to the bar because we didn't know there was a server in this section.  He wasn't chastising her, he was more apologizing.  She made some comment about coming back much sooner.  When she returned he didn't require another drink, so she said something and left.  He joked about getting great service.  I pointed out to him that only the first time did she say she was going to be back sooner, not the second, and seeing how he didn't order anything the second time, it will be a longer wait now.  He laughed and said,
 " You are probably right.  That is because all servers are sassy and should be spanked.  ( I used to be a server in a previous life) AND YOU would have been FIRST on my list! " ( pfft)
 
Then I kid you not, he proceeded to tell us about this 'new' drink he made that required a banana.  The conversation revolved around bananas for about 10 minutes.  I seriously was rendered speechless at the ridiculous predicament I basically placed myself in!)
 
okay back to the
 
 
 


I have a mammogram appointment tomorrow morning. Nothing serious just a baseline for the old, boobless girl.  Barney pointed that out to me, ( via my note on the fridge *wink*).  Anyway, the day after tomorrow our Heir to the Throne is all but done school for this year.  He has a couple of exams but that is it.  In addition to that we have two 'Leave Taking' Ceremonies to attend to the following week as The Spare and the The Spare's Spare, are moving on.  Going to another school. One high school , one middle school ( for a grand total of 2 years and then we Leave Take again! sigh) .  Basically, no guaranteed alone time.   Up until about two minutes into this conversation, I wasn't feeling 'spinny' at all.  But there was something brewing, as I suppose I wouldn't have started this conversation otherwise.

" So what are your plans for today"  ( preparing to tie the strings to his appendages)

Insert Charlie Brown and the Peanuts parental voices here, because whatever he was saying had nothing to do with bananas ( ie spanking for those who cheated and didn't read my last post).




  I started to fret/get angry.  Sigh- NOT because I actually WANTED a banana/spanking, ( okay from now on you should know!) but because I wanted him to _remember_ what we talk about.   Recap~  it has been said that before every weekend and right after as soon as possible Barney would give me a R/A spanking.  This is due to the fact that I am pretty much the CONTROL Monster when dealing with the boys.  It has also been decided ( by him ) that I will not go for an entire week without because he knows I need his physical reminder that he 'has' this.  IN addition to that when the monthly, uninvited guest returns ( like last week) he said he would amp up the submission exercises to remind me that we are still connected, and despite not being able to express it in ways he wants to, he hasn't forgotten about us and D/s ( for lack of a better acronym here).

 
 
 
I calmly, stated,
 
 
" You do realize that today is the last day we will basically have alone ALL summer now right?" 


(attaching the strings to the little wooden X -....just call me Gepetto)




 

He asked what I was talking about and I explained.   A few minutes later he told me to meet him upstairs, ( FYI that was something he said he was going to stop doing, leaving it up to me when to go up....baby steps)
 
 
By the time I got to our room all of the things I mentioned above were echoing around in my head.  I was stewing.  Barney started the conversation off with his approval of my thong commenting on how he was surprised that I wasn't wearing more coverage-even though I always wear a thong at 'that' time, so bananas are consistant..(.he NEVER lets me keep my underwear on the other 3 weeks) so all of this just added to my stewing.  He began to spank and talk about me being anxious about the summer.  He told me not to worry about that.  It was his job to control that, and that he would make the time, although it would be more spontaneous ( like that is a bad thing?) .  However in my mind I was thinking...
 
" You can't even keep up with what you said when the boys AREN'T around..."
 
 
It is funny no matter how many times we talk about it with each other (bloggers).  No matter how damaging we know it is to the HOH building blocks of our husbands.  No matter how much, we still revert back to not trusting them in areas where they have faltered in the past.  This goes far beyond ttwd.  Past hurts may be forgiven, but not forgotten.  One might argue then,  that they aren't truly forgiven if the mistakes are not forgotten.  I suppose.  I am so guilty of this.  Barney knows this.  He , being the man that he is, blames himself for letting me down, therefore contributing to me not having trust in him in this particular area.   Well that is all well and good, but it doesn't change facts does it? 
 
Okay, well I guess you can gather by that last statement the spanking was a resounding success!  So much so Barney has 'declared' that tonight we will be revisiting this issue.
 
 
Honestly I am not trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill.  I sincerely am not trying to be difficult.   I can see all the good that has been happening in our relationship.  Truly I can.  I guess this area is my weakness.  My Achilles heel .   My most vulnerable area... Dramatic much?  This is the area of trust where I suffer greatest in.  I feel that despite being 'in hand', a  little like this guy...
 
 
 
 
I would prefer to be like this
 

 
 
Yes I know it looks like it is squawking ...but let's be realistic here people!
 
 
 

Sadly though without this...

..
 
 
 
I turn into this....
 
 
 
 
 
So to prevent that, I turn into this...
 
 
 
 I suppose the question is, will Barney 'require' me to 'remind' him forever or will he shed his strings for good like this guy?
 
 


31 comments:

  1. Ah, slow and steady, Willie! It already sounds like you are both more aware of things than you have been and you are making progress. I can feel it in the way you write about things. You just come across as more steady and clear eyed about things. It took a while for Pinocchio to shed his strings, but he did and I'm pretty sure Barney is moving in that direction too!

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    1. Thanks Cygnet, but you do realize saying slow and steady to a ttwd wife is a very risky thing right? LOL

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  2. I'm sure there will come a time when you won't have to remind him. The real question is when??? Who knows. Both of you have made great strides in ttwd. Look at where you've been and where you are. Give it time and patience (said from the queen of non-patience!)
    Hang in there.
    Hugs

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  3. Ahh Willie
    You are so good at thinking things through and recognising what is going on inside your relationship. I think we all do a little bit of string pulling at times, well I do anyway! But when you can recognise it and control it it must be better for all.
    Maybe snip the strings one at a time!
    J

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    1. Thank you Janey I suppose you are right about everyone doing it at one time or another. I'm hoping Barney will do the snippy, eventually. Because ultimately it still feels like I am in the drivers seat at times..

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  4. It sounds to me as if you are both more aware of each others needs and understanding of past patterns that may hamper your DD/TTWD.
    This post does seem as if things are going in the best direction for you both. Yay.

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    1. Always lookin' on the bright side of life huh Minelle?

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  5. First of all, I want the pink one!

    It seems like you are making progress and are more aware of each others needs and ways. It seems like you are getting there. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Baby steps are still steps. Just remember it took Pinocchio a long time and a lot of hard work to become a "real boy." You are still in the belly of the whale now, but you'll end up on the beach soon. I think I'm all out of cliches now so just tell Barney I said you need a big long banana.

    Love and hugs,
    TL

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    1. Sorry I drifted off there....LMBO! Thanks Queen of Cliches!

      love
      willie

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  6. I thought I would stop by and say hi. I love your blog and the pictures in the post, so cute!

    I have to remind my H about so many things and it becomes a huge issue for us (me). And like you, summer vacation is here and we have lost all privacy. I seem to be more worried then he does. Once I finally have been able to discuss with him my concerns about this and told him that I really did need to hear from him on how we were going to work around this, I started to feel better. He told me...where there's a will, there's a way!

    It is hard to have trust. But we'll worth it.
    Kim

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    1. Hi KIM!!! W*E*L*C*O*M*E !

      Barney and I have been down this road so many times I can drive it with my eyes closed. But what choice to I have but to muddle through. Trust? Well that is a big word isn't it?

      Thanks for stopping by!
      willie

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  7. Love all the cute pics in this :) Sounds like everything is good though. I'm wondering what submission exercises you do though! :)

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    1. Right now, not too many submission exercises are being done at the moment. *IF* he decides to them again I'll let you know.

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  8. That first little baby turtle has got to be one of the cutest things EVER. I want one.

    Like others have said, knowing these things about ourselves seems to be half the battle. You are aware of the progress you've made together, just as you are aware of the stumbling blocks that can still trip you up from time to time. With certain things, it sure does seem easier to forgive than to forget, but even if the knowledge lingers, I think that we can choose to dwell or we can choose to let go and move on...difficult as that can be. Not sure where I am going with this comment lol but I'm glad that things are heading in the right direction for you Willie:)

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    1. LOL Tess.

      It is not so much the 'dwelling' but the remembering. Is there a difference? I think so. The remembering makes it difficult to trust again. I think that if the same hurts stop reoccurring than the remembering will be a thing of the past.

      I like the little turtles too!

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  9. I know I am late, but I have nothing for you anyway. I am doing my little dance and not getting much in the way of help. More the step back and let her figure it out thing. Sigh. I hope things are better for you now.
    Hugs

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    1. I feel for you Blue Bird. It isn't much fun trying to figure stuff all on your own-makes it difficult to give up control in other areas. At least it is for me anyway.

      hugs, willie

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  10. I think you are so cute. LOL :) And I love the photos, did you work on them yourself? That is great that he's going to help you not stress over the kids for the summer. You need all that energy enjoying the sun. :) Dealing with the dreaded monthly beast myself, augh. Hope yours will start to go smoothly for you soon! :) You know, I think if we are honest, most of us pull strings. We don't always realize we are doing it at the time, but we all know how to get what we want out of our husbands at times and sometimes it's all too easy to pull those strings to get it.

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    1. Well he *says* he is going to help, the proof has yet to be in the pudding on that one EsMay.

      Yes it is way to easy to pull the strings. The real disappointment here is I know I am doing it.

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  11. Morning Willie,

    Such cute pics, you are so clever! I love the turtles.

    Well, you know, another thing we say in blogland is that there is nothing wrong with communicating your needs to your HoH. Look at it that way instead of you pulling his strings.

    I do understand your anxiety about lack of alone time and this being an area you find it difficult to trust. It's good that Barney is aware that this is an issue for you and it does sound as though you are both generally more aware of the issues that cause stumbling blocks and also the progress you have made. I suspect you won't have to 'remind' him much longer.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Well Roz, I wish I could honestly say I have the same faith as you do. Perhaps I need to start looking at it from your point of view.

      hugs willie

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  12. this was such an insightful post, and the pictures had me cracking up... especially barney spanking his wilma. what a hoot! thank you for the break in my workday with this pleasant post! loved it!

    hugs,
    m.

    ps: the whole banana thing is killing me, btw.

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    1. LOL! Well I'm always happy to entertain. Not so sure Barney found this post as amusing though :(

      hugs
      willie

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  13. oh, and thank you for NOT having that stupid captcha thing. i hate those.

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    1. BWahahahaaa! You are a trouble maker!!! Oh professor, someone needs a banana. Surely there are plenty on that island of yours!

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  14. Good morning Gepetto, oops Willie,

    Let me get this straight, 1)you are an intelligent woman with a mind of her own 2) you keep on trying to pull strings, and 3) you are curious about why you do this? Well duh....The answer is you are still breathing!

    Humans have been trying to control their own destiny ever since Adam and Eve (not going there about who did what first to whom)!

    Y’all sound like you are in a great place in your relationship. Interacting, communicating, teasing and then making up ;-) and having fun together with an occasional banana to keep things in their proper perspective!

    You just keep on behaving *wink* and Barney will have no trouble being HoH. Lol!

    Hugs,

    George


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    1. Oh great George, you are putting me in the same class as Eve? The woman who caused all women to have painful child birth, or some darn thing? Thanks!

      Trouble is in the last sentence you have there. When I loose trust ttwd goes flying out the window!

      hugs back
      willie

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  15. I love this post...I'm working on getting out of the habit of reminding him. I'll have to post about one of our first maintenace sessions, sometime. I actually gave him a verbal list of reasons why i thought i needed maintenance to "motivate" him.

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    1. LOL a verbal list huh? Sounds like something I would do. I'm not generally that 'up front'. Well I do write a post, like this one and then share it. When we first started r/a, we did a LOT of talking about it after the fact.

      This just seems to be an area where we have difficulty again. For a while Barney was doing a pretty good job at keeping up, but then he stops. It is like a new driver on a stick shift ( standard) we jolt forward and STOP just as quickly! It is quite literally and figuratively a pain in the neck!

      I try to mention it because if he lets me slip too far, you really do need a search and rescue team to find me. Sadly that is where we are heading this very moment. I fear I will be adrift at sea very soon.

      Thank you so much for stopping by! I shall go over to your place and look around!
      willie

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  16. Hi Willie, :)

    I don't have much more to say than what I said in the comment for your next post (yes, I'm working backwards!!! Lol). Like George said, you are human. Important concept.

    I think, Willie, that you need to do a thorough search to find the hidden microphones that Dan has planted around your place of residence. A little too close a conversation- wouldn't you say???? Glad that you had some fun time out!

    As for kids being home now- yes privacy flies away. We've been dealing with that for two months now. We tend to work around it (I think)! Rob sends me on the death march in to the downstairs bathroom, turns on the dryer. Spatula makes a pretty decent sound, and I have to say it is hard to control the "ow honey," but I do my best. UGH! I am sure that someone has heard something by now. Doesn't stop the man. You'll figure it out! Big hugs to you!

    <3 Katie

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