Monday, December 30, 2013

Introducing....



Slightly New Barney



Gosh where has the time gone?  I have said on more than one occasion that I would write about how I ended up being married to THIS guy..

 
to
 
This guy
 
 
 
 
Well to be fair, Barney has never had an issue with spanking me.  Spanking me for r/a, ( use those letters for whatever you wish).  Punishment on the other hand was an entirely different ball game.  Not too mention the ongoing issues of being married to an
 
   

But let's face it, for many of us, spanking is just the exclamation point. We need to feel their dominance outside of the spankings.   This is where we found our biggest challenge Barney and I.  He would say he understood.  He would say he would maintain his dominance outside of the bedroom, ( um that is where I get spanked...sadly not a sexual dominance statement...another work in progress).  He would also say,

" I know you don't trust me that I will do this, and I don't blame you.  I haven't been keeping up my end of the bargain"

And round and round we would go again. Each time r/a came up, it became increasingly more difficult for him to 'reach' me. We'd talk and implement new ideas. A recap since it has been soooo long:
- the first idea was for me to write down all the things I thought I was doing during a day/week that I thought were breaking the rules.  We would talk about them and he would explain whether he saw them as that or not.  There wasn't a threat of spanking due to the items on the list, it was just to get us on the same page ( This lasted for a few weeks, but again  ANGEL...LOL.  No seriously, we had some great discussions from this idea...but on the surface at the time things didn't appear to change)

- after another talk and melt down of communication between us, it was suggested, ( ahem by me) that before each r/a spanking we would sit on the bed and talk.  Barney would allow me APPROPRIATE time to say what was bothering me.  Sometimes we didn't manage to get to the spanking at that time, but it was okay.  We needed to talk.  Often he sits there rubbing my back until I can say what is on my mind.  IF I can say what is on my mind.  Sometimes after a long period, I just get spanked.. which brings me to the next thing

- the next day after a spanking Barney will ask me how I am feeling.  It generally takes me a long time to process, or to let the words out.  This is my time to talk about what was bothering me if I couldn't get it out the day before, or anything else that might be floating around inside.  We haven't always been great about THIS new idea.  There is usually a reason why we haven't ( ie, Barney is processing something and he goes inside himself, and doesn't have it in him to talk...) but we are working on it.

Now here comes the part that really truly brought about Slightly New Barney. Barney asked me to look up lecturing on the internet. He knows that only his words really can get through to me, ( no I don't have a titanium butt...but I do have a stubborn head). I actually do need his words to focus on so that I don't allow myself to drift away. I am told it is a pain technique...meh whatever, at the end of the day if he engages me with his words, I am more able to 'submit' in my mind and heart not just my body. My body will almost always submit in a delayed reaction within 24 hours, but let's face it my skin can't always handle that kind of 'attention'. Anyway I began my research.

I am aware there are sites out there that discuss lecturing, but they really didn't strike a cord with either of us.  {I teased with a friend of mine months ago that her husband could have QUITE the profitable cottage industry~ a husband could mail him the name of his wife and the misdeeds she does...or the areas in which she struggles, and this HOH could dictate a lecture.  It would be GREAT.  The husband could pull out lectures for each area of concern. Personally I think I am a genius, she just laughed at me..pfft! }

While SHE was no help I started to google 'lecturing and ttwd' .  The usual suspects appeared, and some forums.  Then I became sidetracked by a Kindle Book.  It was

http://www.amazon.com/Spank-Tops-View-This-Thing-ebook/dp/B008VFVFPA
 
 
 
 
 
Now before everyone rushes out to buy this book hoping it will transform their husband into the HOH of their dreams....I have to tell you a few things.  I read this book first.  Devlin O'Neill does talk about spanking parties in it as well, but if that is not your thing, ( it isn't ours but I am not offended by it) please don't toss the book aside.  The insight into my mind that O'Neill has is amazing.  I couldn't believe how he could 'get me' .  I don't have a Kindle so I had to download the book ( all of $3) to my laptop.  I began to highlight things that spoke to me.  I pretty much highlighted the entire thing. LOL.
 
Barney said for HIM the timing was right.  A few months earlier and he wouldn't have benefited from this book the way he did.  I would LOVE to give you some quotes from the book, but I don't want to get sued...so you'll have to trust me ( I am not reimbursing your $3 if you don't like it *wink*). 
 
Oh right the book.  Well Devlin O'Neill talks about why women who want to be spanked NEED to be spanked.  He does make reference to the differences he sees between women who do ttwd and Dders ( at least I thought he did).  In short for me as the woman in this scenario the book made me feel even more comfortable with who I am and why I REQUIRE this thing we do.  For Barney he began to understand.  More than that he began to see he had a purpose, and a role in making me feel more complete.  More comfortable in my own skin.  More free.
 
Now I have since recommended this book to several other women.  Some found O'Neill to be arrogant .  I personally didn't find that at all.  I found him rather tongue and cheek.  I asked Barney what he thought,
 
" Oh I suppose you could take it as arrogance, but I took it more like authoritative.  I enjoyed reading this book because he made no excuses for knowing what he knew.  It is easier for me to take advice from a guy like that".
 
Others were thrown off by the spanking party bits, ( which again I found interesting for comparison sake). When I asked Barney about that part of the book he said
 
" Well at first I thought, what the heck is this about?  Then as I continued to read I didn't even think about it anymore.  The rest was so insightful.  He does talk a lot about bums though"
 
" Well he does like to spank women Barney"
 
laughs...
 
" Well I suppose that is why he talks about bums a lot then! "
 
 


Perhaps the book is for you? Perhaps it is not. What I will tell you is that the change in Barney as he started reading this book began rather quickly. AGAIN he is quick to point out, all the other things we went through in the months upon months of living/trying to live Dd was the foundation on which this house was built. We had the frame work already he just needed something to open that door.





Slightly New Barney still slip slides and away, just as Submissive Willie does....ahem NATURALLY me less than him...hardy har har...But we both are in a much better place because of the understanding that this book has brought to us. I , like I said am more comfortable in my own skin. I have accepted who I am and what I require. Barney understands and is embracing his role in our relationship.



We have also observed that if we become complacent than things slip and I spiral. A sad reality. Barney will reread passages from Devlin's book to keep his head in 'the game' , ( merely an expression people). I have since bought him another book. This time in paper back so he doesn't hog my computer.
 
The book is


http://www.amazon.com/Control-Book-Peter-Masters-ebook/dp/B005WOFU5E/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1388438796&sr=1-1&keywords=the+control+book+peter+masters
 
 
 This book is based in BDSM but Barney is also finding it very interesting. I would LOVE to tell you more about it, but Apparently  I am NOT allowed to TOUCH The Control Book...pfft.
 
 

on a different note...

 
 
Barney and I would like to wish all of you nothing but the best in 2014.   This past year has seen so many changes in our house.    The lows have seemed so incredibly low at times.  But reflecting on the year that has been, and where we stand now,  I cannot fathom many changes we would make.

To those bloggers who have left, please know that you may be gone, but your contributions still remain.  We thank you.

For those who are STUCK with the two of us, well your friendship over this past year has been immeasurable.  We are forever in your debt.



59 comments:

  1. You are so cute. I have missed your humor and we need to catch up. Now, just a suggestion that you can take or leave. I was sharing a funny post (or two) with Ty on http://www.kimskinkykorner.com/, which I thought were hilarious. Naught Christmas pictures. Well Ty decided to continue reading some of her other posts. And he started to, unfortunately, be reminded of other ways to get my attention besides spankings. It covered a whole lot of information for the Hoh. I now kind of wish that I never showed my funny finds to him. Grrrrrr
    I have some other articles for Barney, that you may or may not like. Yet it gave Ty some new insight and information for what is expected and needed from him if he is going to be the head of the house and he wants me to follow.
    Happy, happy New Years!

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    1. GAH!!! don't you just HATE when they start 'clicking' away on their own ? I have often said, " Wait, what are you doing? You should be done reading that by now---------oh no what are you reading? " LOL

      Well send over the information..but ya know to MY email NOT his! LOL

      And yes STRANGer we do need to catch up soon!
      Happy Happy to you too!
      love ya
      willie

      Oh ps...my husband has a gift certificate for your store, so at the very least we'll be catching up over wood *wink*

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  2. Happy New Year my friend. I hope you and Barney have an amazing 2014. You deserve it, and not just because you are such an angel.

    What I love about this post is how happy you sound. It sounds like you and Barney are on the same page and that's fantastic. I like that slip ups don't seem like the end of the world anymore. That's a good feeling and I'm glad you are in that place.

    Bucko and I read that book too and had totally different reactions to it. I won't make you give us the three dollars back. ;) I found the guy insightful and there were quite a few things that spoke to me. Like you I found that the book made me feel more comfortable with who I was and why I needed what I needed. Bucko on the other hand just didn't like the guy. I think he found him arrogant, and stopped reading halfway through. I got more out of it than he did, but perhaps it was the place we were in at the time.

    I completely related to what you said about the words. I have often told Bucko that he has to talk to me. Bucko is a very physical guy so he was spanking away and it was doing nothing for me. I needed the words. The physical action helps, but for me without the words it just ticks me off. I'm glad you and Barney found your talking place and things seem to be working for you now.

    Thank you for being my friend over the past year. You know how much Bucko and I love you. Of course, Bucko would be lost without his fan club president and I would have no one to talk about sloths with. :) Good things are coming for you and Barney, I just know it.

    Love ya!
    TL

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    1. Whoa! While I appreciate the sentiment behind all the lovely words...he is still SLIGHTLY New Barney..LOL! We both still have a lot to work on but I wanted to end the year explaining how we partially got to where we are seeing some movement again.

      One of the best parts of 2013 was building upon friendships from 2012, yours included!

      Love to you both!
      willie

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  3. The Duke read the book and said he liked parts of it as well. :) I have not yet read it, but hope to have time soon. I hope you have a wonderful New Year too. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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  4. Willie,
    When it comes down to the last swat, it is you and Barney that have to decide what is best for you both. Leave the "literature" and blogs. Face one another and go for it. You are so funny..... I wish I could watch.
    Meredith

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    1. WATCH????LOL

      Meredith-to each his own. Some men and women take to ttwd like a duck to water, this wasn't the case here. Trust me we talk and talk and talk....I don't refer to blogs for instructions on how to conduct myself nor does Barney, but we aren't going to leave behind the literature as it helps us. Just like motivational books inspire others.

      We have also read numerous books on marriages and relationships. None of these books are actually DD specific. We don't follow anything religiously- well like I said they aren't how to books...more offering perspective on different subject matters that people can encounter as a couple.
      willie

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  5. HI Angel Willie *cough* :) I so love this post and also enjoy the humour in your writing.

    You guys have grown so much and it's wonderful to see that you have found what works for you and are on the same page. I think we all have slips from time to time but what is important is how we deal with it. For us too, this tends to happen when we become complacent.

    I am totally with you on needing his dominance outside of spanking. That seems to be the hardest part for Rick too. I'm always telling him I crave/love his overall dominance ... it's not just about spanking! LoL

    I too need the words. Lecturing is something Rick has never had too many problems with. I haven't read the book. It sounds as though I should from what you have said and from some of the comments.

    Thank you so much for your friendship and support over the last year and for being there for me. It has meant so much to me and I'm looking forward to continuing our friendship in 2014.

    Happy New Year to you, Barney and kiddos! I hope 2014 is a wonderful year for you.

    Much love
    Roz

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    1. And by humour do you mean the ANGEL part Roz??? Hmmmmm....pfft!

      Well we are on the same page for what works for us, but let's just say we aren't always both reading at the same time! LOL

      It is I that should be thanking you Roz. I look forward to our chats late night/early mornings in 2014 as well! Happy New Year to you and Rick! Here's to no more earthquakes!!!!

      love willie

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  6. That's great to read how you two are ending the year on such a high note! I love that you're feeling comfortable in your own skin and Barney is doing his best to support that.

    We'll check out the book. If we hate it, we won't begrudge you the $3, but if G gets interested in spanking parties, I'm definitely holding you and Barney responsible.

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    1. Hi Leah!
      We did end the year on a comfortable note. That is for sure. If G gets interested in spanking parties, I'll send you $4 !

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  7. May 2014 be full of wishes come true for you both! Hugs

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  8. Hi Willie and Barney, I am so glad that 2013 has seen you two getting there (wherever there is!) . It gives hope to all of us who are not quite there yet that in 2014 we too will arrive exactly where we want to be. I have put a few books on his kindle, we share an account so he can see what I buy anyway, and yes I have been in trouble as I read a lot :)). I think he avoids them like the plague though but I will keep on trying.
    I loved your post and I hope that 2014 will bring great happiness and lots of spankings your way.;)
    love Jan and John,xx

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    1. Hey Jan...
      you know what they say, you can lead a horse to water....but..... LOL. Actually sometimes I felt like I lead the horse to water and he did drink, just not in the area I thought he would! Sheesh thinking on his own and all...the NERVE!!

      I hope 2014 finds you pain-free, well with the exception of where you WANT to feel it..and nothing but the best for the two of you!
      love
      willie

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  9. Hi Willie,
    Just popping in to wish you and Barney a Happy New Year.
    Love, Rosie x

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    1. Well HELLO ROSIE! Welcome back!
      Thank you so much for popping in to wish us a Happy New Year. Same to you!
      willie

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  10. You two have certainly had mountain range of a year. High highs and low (very low) lows. But through all of this, you've come out shining. That alone says a lot about the 2 of you.

    Wishing you all he best in 2014.

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    1. Mountains huh? Okay...Barney hates heights anyway! We don't mind the lush valleys in between, but it is knowing that we have to climb the mountains repeatedly that is brutal at times!
      Well we only have each other so whatda ya going to do? No one else will take either one of us...Oh that's not true Barney has quite the fan club actually...Guess I better behave then *wink*
      Best to you too!

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  11. I still haven't read the book but it sounds like it might be a good one to try. Luke is getting better at lecturing and I agree it helps so much. We still do most of our talking and processing after a spanking whether it's maintenance or punishment. Seems to be the pattern that has evolved and works for us. I am just so thankful that the communication is happening more consistently and we're becoming more comfortable talking about the hard stuff.

    Luke and I wish you and Barney a Very Happy New Year!
    Love, Clara

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    1. The key is what works for you!
      Happy New Year to the both of you as well!
      love
      willie

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  12. Hello Willie, I just want to wish you and Barney a very Happy New Year!

    love,
    George

    P.S. I have always found that books are always more enlightening when read on the beach with an appropriate beverage in hand! I checked and Air Canada has several flights a day to Cancun :-)

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    1. Oh George and your PS....do SHUT UP....Mr. Jetsetter! Pffft....WAY too cold here for even penguins today I swear!

      Have a wonderful New Year with Nina George!
      love willie

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  13. I bought that first book Willie and am still reading it, but you're right he does seem to have insight. Unfortunately H will not read it though I do try and show him one or two snippets every now and then.
    I love your honest and straightforward writing...well almost always honest I think.....'angel'!!
    I hope you two have a great new year
    Janey

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    1. I think my favourite 'snippet' is the last paragraph of the book actually, ( that is if memory serves me correctly).

      WAIT one SECOND...are you implying that I am NOT an angel? pffft.
      Nothing but the best for you in 2014 Janey!!
      willie

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  14. Hi there Willie! I know just what you mean about needing the dominance outside of spanking. For me, it's even better than the spanking itself. It's still a little rare for us, but it does happen now and then. Progress is progress, right? I liked the book, but my hubby hasn't shown any interest in it yet. It did make me understand myself a little better I think.

    I hope you and Barney have a fabulous New Year's Eve and that 2014 is the best year yet!

    Love and hugs :)

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    1. Well if it isn't my favourite ROYAL!
      The dominance thing outside of spanking is still very rare here too Queenie...at least consistently but it is getting a shade better. You are right progress is progress. Life is better than this time last year, so why not celebrate that!
      I am happy that you liked the book and found some benefit in it. So far I think I might only owe $6 and I think I should be able to 'argue' myself out of that!
      We did have a lovely New Years Eve. Thank you.
      Here is to more progress in 2014 !!!
      love and hugs to you my friend
      willie

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  15. Happy New Years Willie!! I hope 2014 is absolutely fabulous for the two of you.

    I'll have to check out those books, I'm really happy that Barney is reading them, that shows so much dedication to ttwd. You have to be so proud of the two of you, and how far you've both come.

    Hugs

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    1. Hi Jennelle!
      I am very happy with how far we have come in the past year. It wasn't easy for very, very many months. Often feeling like I was unravelling and holding on by a thread at times, but it was worth it.
      We are far from 'done' and far, far from perfect but we are comfortably closer than we have ever been. I hope to build on that as time goes on.
      Hugs and Happy New Year to you
      willie

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  16. Happy New Year to you and Barney, Willie! A great and uplifting post for the start of the new year. Something you said stopped me in my tracks and I reread it a few times.

    "Slightly New Barney still slip slides and away, just as Submissive Willie does."

    The part that got me was "just as Submissive Willie does." It was a light bulb moment for me. I see that in the past I would get upset with J as he slipped and slid away, and I would focus on that...hmmm....or perhaps "fixate" is more like it........ So when I read "just as Submissive Willie does", it hit me like a ton of bricks. DUH, Sadie.........just like YOU do.....(eating some crow and humble pie here). Guess I was guilty of the pot calling the kettle black.

    This is great for me, though, because now that I see it, I can work on it. J has often said to me that I don't afford him a margin of error, yet he does for me. Sigh. He's right.

    I'm going to check out the books you recommended. Thank you :)

    LOVE what you've done to your blog!!

    Hugs, my friend,
    Sadie

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    1. You know Sadie, just like Barney said, it is all in the timing. You maybe found something in this post that struck a cord in you while others found it a book review. No matter, if one person benefits it was worth the effort to share right?

      Thanks for the compliment on the blog... :0)

      Hugs to you too my friend..Hugs to you too!

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  17. G and I just finished the book. We read pretty quickly and skipped some parts that weren't terribly interesting to us.

    My take: Easy, enjoyable read with some humor mixed in. He very clearly and respectfully laid out the reasons why a woman would want to be spanked. I am totally okay with this part of me now, but it would have been helpful 15 years ago to make me feel more comfortable with that part of our sex life.

    G's take: The guy is really cocky. He agrees with Barney that he talks about bums a lot. G better understands the motivation for my wanting to be spanked, learned some new things about implements [like hell!], and has a better appreciation for the "just because" spanking to show attention but no pressure around it.

    So our read is likely to have any real changes on our relationship, but I enjoyed reading it and we laughed out loud a few times. Certainly worth the $3. I would recommend it to others.

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    1. Skipped a few parts? LOL....how do you know you didn't miss some GEM? As for the cocky part? Meh, I guess one person's confidence is another person's cockiness.

      I'm glad you were able to find something useful in the book!

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  18. We too like to read around, outside of blogland. It's funny, we tried a few "marriage" books when we first started DD and we almost throttled each other. I'm not kidding. It was a completely frustrating experience. I think Barney is right--it is all in the timing and happening upon the right materials at the right time. We are reading some things right now which are completely vanilla but are helping us work on some communication glitches. I think I told you I have a ttwd book that I put away because it was too much at the time. I could get a lot more out of it now...but lol, I don't think I'll give it to MM to read. :) He really doesn't need any creative ideas right now.

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    1. Are you talking about the book I am rereading now that we have a year of ttwd under our belts? <- tee hee...funnier if Barney and MM actually USED belts!

      Before trying ttwd I read a lot of vanilla books on marriage. Of course Barney thought we were fine back then, but he was always willing to try things. Now we have moved on to the 'dark' side ..LOL. He said last night that The Control book is quite psychological or something like that...I wasn't really listening. How is THAT for communication? pfft- I was sleeping! sheesh

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  19. Happy, happy new year Willie! One of these days Alex will read it but not yet. Maybe soon. I did really like it but we don't have the control book. I will have to check it out.

    I think it is great how you guys have worked to grow and overcome your difficulties. You are working together and that is so important.

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    1. Hey LADY! I was beginning to wonder where you were!

      I can't help you out with The Control Book...as you know I'm not allowed to touch it! lol

      Happy New Year to you too!!

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  20. I will be checking both of those books out!
    I think that as much as we'd like for our guys to "get it" all at once, wouldn't it be really tough on us to accept that much change that fast?
    So, slightly new is really probably better for all parties, even though it doesn't suit this impatient wife!

    And thanks for dropping by and welcoming me into the community!
    Ruby

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    1. Hi Ruby! Welcome to our blog!

      I hope you enjoy them. No word on The Control Book yet, but I personally enjoyed the Spank Her ! one. In fact I was just sending a friend a quote and started to reread some parts again.

      I think some men to 'get it' right away, but there are still steps of understanding that I have witnessed we all have to go through- whether it be now or later. Eventually they are going to surface.

      Slow and steady, apparently 'wins the race'...um ya know, if we were racing!

      I hope you like it here as much as we do Ruby!
      willie

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  21. Hi Honey! Happy New Year!

    Well, you already know that Devlin book and I didn't get on, although I did highlight (in pink) some lines I thought were quite good and to read out should the occasion arise. Sadly, Dan isn't in to books unless for business purposes - even on holiday - yawn! He is terrible at picking and finding fault with what these people are saying, and then I end up arguing with him, and you can guess the rest.

    Recently I read a book George recommended, called Sex in the Kitchen, and that was interesting and I read a lot of it out loud to Dan, but even that book had parts that led to violent disagreements. So I just wish figuring everything out was as easy as "reading a book", but for us, we are just going to have to keep plodding along. Maybe, as Susie says, there are appropriate times, and ours hasn't come yet. However, I am very glad things are good for you and that you are feeling lots of benefits! At least you seem to know where you are going after all your inner turmoil. You have really forged ahead! Just look where you were this time last year!

    Many hugs!
    Ami

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    1. Happy New Year to you too!

      Oh you highlighted, therefore I am off the hook. Well just like our relationships, our taste in advice isn't all going to be similar either. I am sorry to hear that Dan doesn't want to listen to what books you find speak to you have to say. Perhaps you could paraphrase what you like and maybe put that in a framework of a question? Like..." I read somewhere......what do you think about that?" However, the difficulty with that is not taking it personally when they answer differently than we had envisioned. At least it is for me!

      Well I did have a lot of turmoil over this past year. I would have to say though, it appears it was necessary for both myself and Barney. It is amazing the difference a year can make- although at times in the thick of it, I felt like it was a decade!

      hugs back
      willie.

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  22. I like this new Barney....he amuses me ;) No....all kidding aside....I am happy that you all are reaping the rewards of all the hard work you have put into this over the last year...plus. I have spent a lot of time not knowing the right thing to say...or how to help....or perhaps when to shut up (LOL!)....just know I am happy for you both....and wish you all nothing but the best in 2014.

    Love ya....

    ~Lucy

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    1. Who is this?

      Pfft. He amuses you. I am thinking about sending Ryan a gift certificate to a certain store....now THAT would amuse ME!

      I know you are happy for us, I also know that aren't kidding when you say he amuses you. But I still love ya, and you are DEFINITELY one of the ones who won't be able to shake us!

      Here is to nothing but smiles and Happy tears for you and Mt. Ryan this coming year!

      willie

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  23. How in the world do I miss your posts??? Do they hide from me? Ugh... Now you have me wondering about the book. (The first one more than the second maybe...) Anyway, glad you two are progressing along and glad we are friends :D

    love sara xoxoxo

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    1. Not sure, but you apparently aren't the only one. Others have told me ( or used the same excuse! LOL). I know a few have now subscribed by email instead of relying on blogger. I mean IF you are worried that is..LOL

      I enjoyed the book. Again can't tell you about the second. Although I can see it right now. Sooooo tempting as Barney is at work! LOL

      I'm glad were friends too.

      love
      willie

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    2. Well speaking for me when I saw it your post claimed it had only been there 4 hours. But I saw right away when I clicked it that it was several days ago that it had really been posted and you had like 45 comments (lucky! well half were your own but still!)

      xo
      love sara :)

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    3. I have this happen with Stormy and EsMay's blogs consistently. They show up in order of where they originally came up time wise but do it like a DAY later. It is so annoying.

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  24. Happy, Happy New Year! From a hot house flower...I am sorry that you are fighting the winter weather. I spent Christmas in the desert this year and I will tell you that sand and warmth are much more "Christmasy" in my opinion.

    I find it interesting how the woman (for the most part) see Devlin as confident and the guys (for the most part) see him as arrogant...or something.

    Devlin should send you a gift card for increasing his sales!

    I think at some level he addressed the whys but also and importantly, I think he addressed just doing what your partner needs and not worrying about the whys. I liked that...I like to think that when you make your needs known, your partner in life will try their best to meet them. I think the trick is being able to give your partner what they want and need in a way that still embraces who you are. I like that you and Barney are always working on figuring out how to do that.

    Glad we have gotten to know each other a bit...here's to 2014!

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    1. Hey Cygnet!

      Well technically I'd have to go OUTSIDE to fight the winter weather. Barney now HE is fighting it! Me I am curled up under a blanket, with a class of pop and a dog to keep me warm. Not too shabby.

      @ Devlin remark, for the maybe $24 dollars he got, hardly worth it. What we got out of it...every bit worth it.

      You know the part in the book you were addressing? I was literally skimming over that today as I sent a girl friend a quote from the book. She was scared off a bit by the title. I don't know how he managed but he sure managed to figure a great deal of us women out. I found it quite remarkable.

      I have a theory about why some of the men found him arrogant but we'll chat privately about that one *wink*

      "I think the trick is being able to give your partner what they want and need in a way that still embraces who you are" I think this is absolutely right. Sometimes at the start giving your partner what they want, or think they want seems awkward and uncomfortable, but it doesn't mean that it isn't you. It may mean that, sure. But it may also mean that it is something you have to get used to. Something new isn't always something horrible. As long as, well let's say spanking, it may feel odd for a man to spank his wife, but after if he doesn't feel that way or as strongly, then maybe it is okay. That he isn't giving part of himself away to give to his wife. And even if he is, if he WANTS to, who are we to judge? In a relationship we all do things that are for the benefit of others. Being uncomfortable at times doesn't mean we don't try.

      I am glad we started to get to know each other too Cygnet. Bring on 2014!!

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  25. Glad to hear that things are looking up for the two of you. May 2014 bring you many blessings!

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    1. Thanks River!
      Sorry it took so long to get back here to comment. Nothing but the best for you both too in 2014!

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  26. Don't you just love blogger, this post never showed up on my blog roll. I bought the first book and Rog is excited to read it, thank you for the recommendation.
    Hugs
    Kim

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    1. Blogger hates me...HATES me. I joke that it is a Canadian conspiracy. Oh well.

      I hope Rog is able to pull some insight from the book in a way that Barney was able to. I'd hate for him to come banging on my door for his $3 back!
      willie

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  27. LOL...I see I'm not alone in not seeing your post. I went to your blog just by typing in the name just to see what you have been up to. I read your post and it wouldn't let me comment. I went back to my blogger and then suddenly this post is showing up. I clicked on it and now I can comment. Very strange. I have been looking for some books.... I will check these out. I hope they have them on audio. My husband will listen to books while he works out if I ask him too, but rarely sits down to read. Happy New Year!!

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  28. Well Sassy as you can see, your aren't missing much by missing my posts!

    Not sure about the audio...but the first book is a lighter read.
    Happy New year to you too!

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  29. Happy new year friend!! Might have to check out that book...doubt I could get Levi to read it, but I always love a little insight:)
    Bea

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  30. Insight? Doesn't sound like you at all! * wink*

    Nice to see you back ' here ' Bea!
    Love willie

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