While we were pondering a few things, Barney started talking about how our lives have changed over the past year. For those watching the Barney and Wilma show, you know there hasn't been one defining moment where everything began to work. In fact today via email I was telling a girlfriend who asked if it ever got easier
Nope. Every few months or so it seems like we have to go back to the starting line and get back to basics. Granted the starting line isn't as far back as it once was and 'basics' are more advanced in nature at times. The trail has been broken in so it isn't as difficult if we just allow ourselves to follow it without being frustrated.
Along that vein Barney was talking about the layers ( no not peeling them back ) of our relationship. How throughout all our struggles in the past year or so we have grown even if we didn't realize it at the time. NATURALLY that got me thinking....about Phyllo Pastry.
...and we're off!
You know ( or maybe you don't) when you buy Phyllo Pastry it appears in this huge thick lump
Looks pretty solid right? If you look closely around the edges, you might be able to see the layers coming apart . Not very impressive, but there is potential I suppose this could be used as an analogy about us and our marriage. We were there with potential, solid, yet we could slip apart at the edges. Phyllo pastry in this state has a powdery substance between it so the layers don't adhere to each other, however being folded together in the box and the weight and time does make them stick in what seems like crucial areas.
In our relationship with ttwd/Dd it now appears we had to separate each layer before we effectively move on to the next building process. Last night I was reading an old post of ours from April of last year. In it a friend commented as such to me. She said it appears that Barney and I both seemed to be the type of people that needed to take something apart, put it back together and figure out how or why it works in order for it to work.
Once we had all the pieces apart, (this is where Barney's analogy kicks in) we started to layer even though we didn't realize it. If you notice the phyllo pastry is very thin on its own. You can practically see through it. It even becomes more translucent when you brush it with the egg wash or butter that is used to bind it to another layer.
Gah....honestly this is such a painstaking and finicky process. I don't like thinking about doing it. However once it is over I think, meh that wasn't so bad. DURING it? The potential for frustration is great.
Bit by translucent bit we were building. Adhering our layers without realizing it. One day we turned around and we had created a great foundation that could be filled with all the yummy sweetness ( gag I know). The layers became strong. Individual yet strong.
End of story? No far from it. Merely the beginning.
End of struggles? HARDLY. You see this is one little niblet. One mouthful. Our lives both individually and together have so much history and we are making new
mistakes history everyday. I look at this foundation to be in one area. We are silently, right now putting layers together in other areas of our lives. Which area specifically? No clue. lol
There are many more 'treats' to create. That being said often during the egg wash, adhering process, we tear the phyllo pastry sheet. Sometimes we think it will be okay to use that ripped sheet and during the baking process the 'heat' will bake it together. I suppose it depends on which layer gets torn. It doesn't always work that way. Frustration builds. Pastry crumbles. So what do we do???
This is where we find ourselves at the moment. While we used to get frustrated in hiking up the trail again, now we often can get excited about seeing something new this time up. Of course that is after resisting going back to the start again. Once that decision is made we both feel better and less frustrated.
That isn't to say that some days I didn't
wish there was a side path to toss a certain caveman in!