Friday, January 10, 2014

Up the Mountain with Phyllo Pastry

 A few days ago Barney and I were sitting on our bed discussing a post I had recently written ( I have pulled it for personal reasons).  Anyway we were discussing the positive changes I have noticed about myself.  He had noticed the changes to a degree but not to the depths that we were discussing.  After all - he's not in my head.  lol

While we were pondering a few things, Barney started talking about how our lives have changed over the past year.  For those watching the Barney and Wilma show, you know there hasn't been one defining moment where everything began to work.  In fact today via email I was telling a girlfriend who asked if it ever got easier




Nope.  Every few months or so it seems like we  have to go back to the starting line and get back to basics.  Granted the starting line isn't as far back as it once was and 'basics' are more advanced in nature at times.  The trail has been broken in so it isn't as difficult if we just allow ourselves to follow it without being frustrated. 

Along that vein Barney was talking about the layers ( no not peeling them back ) of our relationship.  How throughout all our struggles in the past year or so we have grown even if we didn't realize it at the time.  NATURALLY that got me thinking....about  Phyllo Pastry.


...and we're off!

You know ( or maybe you don't) when you buy Phyllo Pastry it appears in this huge thick lump


Looks pretty solid right?  If you look closely around the edges, you might be able to see the layers coming apart .  Not very impressive, but there is potential  I suppose this could be used as an analogy about us and our marriage.  We were there with potential, solid, yet we could slip apart at the edges.  Phyllo pastry in this state has a powdery substance between it so the layers don't adhere to each other, however being folded together in the box and the weight and time does make them stick in what seems like crucial areas.

 


In our relationship with ttwd/Dd it now appears we had to separate each layer before we effectively move on to the next building process.  Last night I was reading an old post of ours from April of last year.  In it a friend commented as such to me.  She said it appears that Barney and I both seemed to be the type of people that needed to take something apart, put it back together and figure out how or why it works in order for it to work. 

Once we had all the pieces apart, (this is where Barney's analogy kicks in) we started to layer even though we didn't realize it.  If you notice the phyllo pastry is very thin on its own. You can practically see through it.  It even becomes more translucent when you brush it with the egg wash or butter that is used to bind it to another layer.

 



Gah....honestly this is such a painstaking and finicky process.  I don't like thinking about doing it.  However once it is over I think, meh that wasn't so bad.  DURING it?  The potential for frustration is great.

Bit by translucent bit we were building.  Adhering our layers without realizing it.  One day we turned around and we had created a great foundation that could be filled with all the yummy sweetness ( gag I know).  The layers became strong.  Individual yet strong.

 
End of story?  No far from it. Merely the beginning. 
 
 End of struggles?  HARDLY.  You see this is one little niblet.   One mouthful.  Our lives both individually and together have so much history and we are making new mistakes history everyday.  I look at this foundation to be in one area. We are silently, right now putting layers together in other areas of our lives.  Which area specifically?  No clue. lol

There are many more 'treats' to create.  That being said often during the egg wash, adhering process, we tear the phyllo pastry sheet.  Sometimes we think it will be okay to use that ripped sheet and during the baking process the 'heat' will bake it together.  I suppose it depends on which layer gets torn.  It doesn't always work that way.  Frustration builds.  Pastry crumbles.  So what do we do???


This is where we find ourselves at the moment.  While we used to get frustrated in hiking up the trail again, now we often can get excited about seeing something new this time up.  Of course that is after resisting going back to the start again.  Once that decision is made we both feel better and less frustrated.

That isn't to say that some days I  didn't
wish there was a side path  to toss a certain caveman in!




*wink*
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


58 comments:

  1. This is the GREATEST ANALOGY EVER!! I always think, while at work, that recipes or certain food products are like relationships (apparently I'm not the only one ;)) they have to be understood, cared for and treated with a high level of respect to bring out their highest potential and for them to truly shine! If not, then they will just be...blah. I love this post. I would say that you are definitely right in comparing it to phyllo dough...probably the most finicky of product and certainly one of the hardest to work with. (Also one of the most annoying...LOL! Kidding!) anyways, this was really an awesome post, great job Willie!

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    1. Hey Stubborn, long time no see!

      So when Barney read this comment he laughed and said, " She must be a pastry chef". Keep in mind he doesn't read around blogland :).

      And phyllo dough is the most annoying! As can ttwd be. LOL..NOT kidding. When we are in a grove it is fantastic, but when we are slipping or have fallen, man oh man! Oh well at least we are paying attention.
      Thanks!
      willie

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  2. Maybe it's because its really late/or early depending on how you are looking at it and I should be in bed...but now I want to make baklava :-) Hugs

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    1. I wanted to add that I think this is a really nice post and I love the analogy...several hours later at a regular morning hour I can see things more clearly :-)

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    2. LOL! Thanks for coming back and clarifying Terps!

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  3. Hi Willie, how is the coffee this morning? :)

    Interesting but great analogy. I certainly wouldn't have thought of phyllo pastry! LoL. Layering and creating that foundation is the hard part.

    I think most of us probably have times where we find ourselves back at the start. I know we certainly have. You two have come a long way over the last year and I'm glad you have created a strong foundation so that if you find yourselves back at the start, the trail back isn't as steep or as difficult.

    I love what you said about being excited about seeing something new this time up.

    Love
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz, my coffee this morning? Meh, it's missing a little somethin' somethin'. Meh, such is life.

      Your comment made me giggle, " Interesting BUT good analogy " tee hee.
      Walking the same path does get easier each time. Sometimes we even sprint it. It is just getting over the " sigh here we go again' feeling that can be a bit of a pain ( pun intended on occasion)

      As always, Love
      willie

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  4. Mmmm...pastry. Wow woman, I am now SO not looking forward to my egg whites with green pepper. Sigh.

    I think you hit the nail on the head. It doesn't get easier and there are time when we find ourselves back in the middle of the freaking pastry tackling the very same tough place over and over again. It's messy and wonderful at the same time, b/c we finally have tools for slogging through it without destroying each other like we used to. Those moments of sweetness--I think if I was there all the time I would get too used to it and take them for granted. It would be too sweet as well. Not real life.

    There is a huge amount of freedom and comfort for me in knowing that it is okay to make mistakes, for us to tank and completely screw it up b/c that foundation is so much safer. It's the same as I watch you two and other friends. I still fret for a minute when I see you struggle and get frustrated but then the confidence sets in and I know those layers are all set to be built on again. I stop fretting. To completely mix your metaphors, I watch you take one more bite of the elephant and come out of it with that sassy smile of yours.

    So can I now have a picture of you eating a bite of elephant who is in turn eating a phyllo pastry?
    NO...that's just wrong?
    Okay then.

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    1. *Those moments of sweetness--I think if I was there all the time I would get too used to it and take them for granted. It would be too sweet as well.* Ya know, I am willing to give it a try and tell you if I do take it for granted. I'll get back to you on that. What's that? OH right not going to happen unless we move to some remote island. Even then I see my pastry getting all soggy.

      I think the huge amount of freedom comes with knowing that everyone ends up struggling to a degree, no matter how long they are in this dynamic. The confidence comes from realizing that we aren't the screw ups on the block, and with a bit of elbow grease we can be up in running - sometimes it just takes longer than others.
      For us, I know when it is happening, or can see it starting to tear, I just have to be more vigilant in communicating these observations with Barney. I know he can 'handle' that conversation now, whereas months ago he may have become frustrated. Hence the traveling up the path again and not worrying as much about the stone in our way.

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  5. See I think in my relationship with SM I am making the pastry all perfect just the way he likes
    it, then I mess up because I forgot an ingredient so instead of just fixing it or changing the recipe, I
    stab the pastry to death and tear it up and throw it in the garbage and then sit on the floor and cry.

    Well sometimes it feels that way. I don't do very well with change or surprises. I always want everything planned out and it is just not possible.

    This was a great post by the way. I love the analogy and you did such a good job describing each
    layer. I used to love baklava. :)

    love
    sara

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    1. Hmmm? I'm with Irishey, amusing yet a tad scary!

      For us, I think our ability to layer successfully ( at times) comes because we are actually baking together. I am not so sure it would work if I was trying to assemble the layers FOR Barney. I have no clue what the final pastry is supposed to look like, as we are often flying by the seat of our pants, ( especially MY pants) I just know he needs to help me and together we will create it.

      I am NOT a huge fan of change or surprises either. Basically I like to be in control! Yet I don't want the responsibility solely for how this dish turns out. How is that for confusing?

      Thanks Sara!
      love
      willie

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  6. Such a great post, and great analogy. I'm so happy to hear that it doesn't get easier, I know that sounds crazy, but it helps me to know that we're okay. We will make mistakes, and fail, and pick ourselves back up. There will always been struggles, some really painful ones, I'm trying to work my way through one right now! I don't like failing, or feeling like a failure, and this lifestyle has certainly made me feel like that more than I would like. I just hope we're building a stronger foundation too! Thank you Willie for helping me to understand myself, and this crazy dd/ttwd thing. I just emailed my mom for her spinach pie recipe, I've always been afraid of using phyllo dough..I guess I should give it a try :)

    :) Hugs!!

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    1. Jennelle I wish I had your email...here will have to do, and hope you stop by again

      It is tempting to focus on what we are doing wrong, what they are doing wrong, on how we stumble. I wish I had magic words on how to fix this mindset. Just remember it takes us ALL time. Some of these habits have been coping mechanisms for a long time, some of the predate our relationships! Overnight, and yes a year is still overnight in the span of a lifetime, is NOT enough time to 'change'. For me reflection on the WHY I default to certain reactions in situations helps/helped. Does it stop me from doing it again? Yes and no. It has helped. It also helped Barney understand ( once I would figure out things) so he could sometimes stop 'it' before it happened judging by the situations around us.

      I know no one likes to hear it takes time....but really it does. As a mother teaching your kids how to react appropriately to situations you are for the most part probably patient. Try to exercise some of that patience and understanding with yourself. You've had a WHOLE lot longer to solidify those reactions!

      Good luck with the phyllo dough....better you than me! lol. I hate the goo that ends up on your finger tips once the powder gets wet!

      willie

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  7. Wilma,
    I so like your analogy and what you write is so true.
    Meredith

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  8. Great post, Willie. :)
    I wish I could view my own marriage with the same clarity that you see yours.

    Ruby

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    1. Hello Ruby.

      Ohhhhhhhhhh I don't know how much clarity I have. This was merely a break in the cloud cover. The next day things were not so 'great' . We are better but let's just say it is a good thing I didn't wait another 24 hours before I wrote this post! LOL
      willie

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  10. Well, naturally, hiking up mountain trails would make you think of phyllo pastry. Who doesn't make that association?

    I like the thought that you have been clearing that trail as you navigate up it, removing some of the trippy tree roots and rocks from your path, trimming off hanging vines that tangle in your hair, breaking off those irritating side branches that smack you in the face when the trail blazer lets them go before you clear them. ;-) That really does make it easy to go back up the trail if you happen to slip and fall down it a ways. Makes the fall a little easier, too.

    Phyllo dough is just weird. I like baklava, once ever year or two. Only a small piece. The texture is just so...weird. It's an experience that I like to repeat, but very rarely. Lol! Anyway, using it as an analogy worked really well here. Very creative, yet takes you right to the heart of how this works for you and Barney. Coupled with the trail analogy, very nice!

    Hugs, Willie. Hope you all are staying safe and warm, and the worst of this crazy weather has long passed over you.

    (Sara's comment was - omg - scary! Very funny, and scary! And a little sad - I don't like when Sara feels discouraged, so no phyllo pastry for Sara. None. Ever.) ;-)

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    1. I know right Irishey? I mean it surprises to no end that Mountain Equipment Co-op doesn't sell phyllo dough goodies next to their dehydrated goods!

      I agree the texture of phyllo pastry is weird. Like eating paper sort of.

      We are doing great here. The weather is just par for the course. Actually in truth we haven't had it too badly. Only really cold. It has been above freezing lately and that is just an annoyance!

      Sara comment while amusing is a tad scary I agree. Sad too if she feels frustrated. Hopefully she can find another dough she prefers. Perhaps Puff Pastry!

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  11. Great Post Willie, That baklava will be ten feet tall with all those layers in it! I liked when you said that going back to the beginning wasn't quite such a trek each time, soon be there.
    love Jan.xx

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    1. LOL...well I don't think it will be 10 feet tall Jan. Many layer true, but they are subtle. The trek really isn't so difficult back up the mountain, just realizing it is time to start again is.

      love willie

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  12. Love the analogy Willie. You have a way of making this ttwd thing that seems just impossible to accomplish so might as well just give up right now, seem not so unattainable after all. You remind us that it can be done if you're willing to take it one step, or layer at a time. Not only that, but that it's even possible to enjoy the steps along the way, (notice I didn't say journey!). Thanks for the inspiration. Hugs :)

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    1. Hi Queenie!

      I am happy you can relate to the positives in this post. I know- oh LORD do I know that ttwd can be so very difficult. Especially when you are climbing the mountain and you only get a glimpse of the view through the trees and then slide back down again. It is so incredibly frustrating and discouraging. The mud cakes on your shoes and feels like you can't move. Your face becomes muddy and itchy too. Your skin becomes tight. But eventually you can work the mud off and try again to climb. The difficulty is finding it in us to do it.
      I think too that we sit next to the path for a long time trying to decide what to do or IF to do anything at all and we see others climbing the path in front of us and wonder why we have fallen. Sitting for a bit isn't a bad thing either. Although the mosquitos are more fierce off the path! Sometimes catching our breath is just what we need to carry on.

      Thank you for the kind words! Oh and also thank you for not saying journey. Adventure! That is where it is at!

      hugs to you too!
      willie

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  13. Dang.. Now I want a sweet... :0)

    Great post! Foundations do continue to change in a marriage or any type of relationship and I think with this dynamic they grow stronger...Even if in the moment we can't see that the foundation is gathering another layer for us to pull on in the future.. the closeness, bonding and overall trust that is built with this type of relationship is amazing in growing those layers strong!

    Now I am off to find something sweet... I may have to actually work out tonight. Sigh.. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! :0P

    Hugs,
    Irish Lucky

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    1. Oh sorry about feeding your sweet tooth Irish.

      For us this dynamic has had a profound affect on our lives that is for sure. I am certain others can have the same strength and foundation with other lifestyle choices, it just wasn't evident for us before. Heck, it isn't always evident HERE now either!!

      Like the old saying goes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

      Hugs back
      willie

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  14. OK Willie, I get the great analogy and the insightful trail thing, but must admit Phyllo Pastry is news to me! I also just want to add that while I know that you're an angel and all *wink* there are some days that cavewomen cause cavemen to want to find that side path and make the head first dive voluntarily! LOL!

    love,
    George

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    1. Oh my gosh George you KILL me! LOL

      I have NO doubt Barney probably wants to jump into the volcano almost as much as I have wanted to throw him in!

      love
      willie

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  15. You know--- what about onions?
    Anyway...I see most couples seem to make the same mistakes over and over...but just a little less intentionally don't you think?

    Neat Cat pic!

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    1. Minelle, it is like you have been talking to Barney...Onions= peeling BACK the layers. Totally different....TOTALLY! lol

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  16. I like this one Willie...I have always wondered why we can't just open the dang "phyllo dough" and cook it how it is?! Why do we have to take it all apart...so frustrating. But alas, you are right, that is the proper way to prepare it and make it taste all yummy and such, but man is it a pain in the...well, you know. Tell me the final product is worth it:)
    I am with you Quiet Sara...some days you just want to toss the "dough" and cry...but eventually someone has to clean that crap up:)
    Bea

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    1. On a serious note, I hear ya! Why all the assembly? I mean we have come so far in so many ways, what is with all the layers? Oh I guess there is puff pastry!

      The finally product? Well like I said, we only have maybe ONE pastry made for a buffet table screaming to be filled. It might take a while to get back to you on that one.....if ever.

      LOL...yes eventually someone does have to clean up that crap. Worse you have to try and salvage it after you have squished it. So difficult to pry the layers apart after that.

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  17. You really have a way of explaining things so beautifully. I love the idea that we clear the path so the going is easier when we have to make the climb again because we all know that there will be times when we have to start again. Doing that work is hard but worth it. Great post.

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    1. Thanks Zoe!

      Yes climbing the trail again is annoying but at least we have broken the trail before. Perhaps the next time up we will remove that stone that has tripped us up before!

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  18. Great analogy!!!
    I love what you said about being excited about seeing something new this time around. Hope you're doing ok.....
    And I hope you can see more of the good and less of the bad, like you said in your reply to Jennelle. Thank takes a conscience effort, one I'm certainly not good at. But it's important to see that ya, you may have slipped, you probably didn't fall ALL the way to the start line. And that you're going to try another path to see if it has prettier flowers. :) but never forget all the beauty and stepping stones you saw on your last path.
    It's really late here and I'm cold (stupid polar vortex) I hope this made some sort of sense....... :)

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    1. Hi Sara

      Thanks! Well if the world gives you lemons....LOL... might as well enjoy the view each time because what choice to you have?
      I am not always good at seeing more of the good, but if I am to be totally honest it is more of a case of being stubborn. Like I see the 'berries' along the path and say ' pfft ' . LOL

      Finding a new paths is very tempting and sometimes it is necessary but I think for us lately, finding out why we tripped on the existing path is more helpful.

      I am getting a kick out of all this 'polar vortex' talk. Sounds like a ride at an amusement park!

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  19. Is that Baklava or Galatoboureko? Love them both and am being denied them both. Shesh!

    What with you with your phyllo pastry and me with my bends, we make a good pair! LOL!


    With a well worn track we traverse on a regular basis, we can sometimes miss the sharp edges and potholes and end up coming to grief. But just think how boring it all would be if everything went totally smoothly the first time round. There would be no challenge and nothing to learn. We would be in danger of complacency.

    I think you're doing all right, you pair. Rome wasn't built in a day; it took a long time to get the design right. Now it's a wonderful and vibrant city. Just think have far you've come and what you have achieved in just over a year. And don't forget, some paths are the better for being walked repeatedly.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Yes the conclusion seems to be here, don't talk about pastries in the New Year! LOL

      I think the path needs to be travelled again and again until we see and learn everything that is needed before we break trail somewhere else. If we take short cuts or try a different trail we run a real risk of getting lost or snagged even further. We then have to wrestle the forest to get back to the original trail anyway.

      Now having said that, there are many ways to get up the mountain. We just have to find the path that will work for us and chart the course.

      Thanks Ami, I think we are doing alright too.
      hugs
      willie

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  20. Great post and analogy! I do love what you said about being excited to see something new. Sometimes I think we focus too much on what we have already seen and we forget to see the new things. I hope your doing well.
    Hugs
    Kim

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    1. So tempting to RUN up the second or twentieth time isn't it? Sadly unlike SOME people who exercise around here, I get winded. Pacing ourselves is key I suppose- because you have no idea how steep the grade or how long the path really is.

      I am doing well. Thanks Kim
      wilie!

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  21. I'm with the chorus on this one, Willie. A great analogy! I bet you don't even realize how much you help the rest of us to better understand our own relationships.

    "The trail has been broken in so it isn't as difficult if we just allow ourselves to follow it without being frustrated."

    Bingo. And therein lies the great challenge......

    You're really onto something here. I wish I had your ability to make these great analogies; they're so insightful!

    Love,
    Sadie

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    1. Well Sadie, I think we talked about this once. How dyslexics think in pictures, and I fully believe that is why I think in analogies. Not sure you *want* all the other FUN stuff that comes with this 'ability" LOL!!!

      Again I think for myself getting off of the rock on the side of the path and turning back to the start of the trail is the hardest part. Often I find I am dragging Barney or myself up the trail longer than I should. It would have been better to have turned around earlier than trying to gain a few more feet. THAT is a habit I have to try to break!

      You are so generous with your compliments Sadie. Thank you.
      love willie

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  22. Super post.

    Love that little Cat,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  23. Hi Willie,
    well being "the friend" who asked "does it ever get easier?" i think what you said about the starting lines always moving is so true, we start off and then we all falter, but then we dust ourselves off and begin again, but that start is NOT back to square one...we live and change and slowly (wait...did i say slowly, let me rephrase that, excruciatingly slowly) move forward.

    after not being able to do maintenance the other night (due to house full of kids), T said "i want you to still wait up for me anyways", then when he came home he took me over his lap and i became panicked because i thought OMG they will hear everything but then he just rested his hand on my behind and said "don't worry it will happen, just not tonight" and then we just talked. was it want we intended to do? no, but it was just perfect in that moment because in the past i would of become so frustrated and then he would of become even more frustrated and this would of ended in a fight, this time he thought about our situation and made an adjustment and still managed to move us forward in TTWD.

    He said "Lexi this will NEVER be perfect, so you need to accept that, but i will keep trying and i wont give up" maybe there is hope for us yet!

    Hugs, Lexi

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    1. Do my eyes deceive me???? LOL

      Hello LEXI!

      The tone in your comment is sooooooooooo different than it might have been even just a month ago. It is wonderful the 'feel'. Think of the leg muscles we are developing doing all this climbing. Not too mention the cardiovascular benefits!!!

      It can be excruciatingly slow. It can also be extremely frustrating, especially when you think you are about to have a change of view and the clouds roll in, and the sky opens up. You want to THROW your hands in the air and scream..." SERIOUSLY?? serious? You have GOT to be kidding me? ". I think times like that the rain is cleansing and the timing is there for a reason.

      Just look at what has happened recently at your house? A few months ago perhaps you would have seen the no physical action as a disappointment . Unwilling to see that there really is a creative way to venture up the path that isn't on the map.

      Love
      willie

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  24. This is a great analogy. I have never worked with this pastry, but does it ever look yummy. :) Starting over can be daunting, but I like the outlook you have, there are new things to each time you have to start over, and the starting over really does need to go back less and less distance. We don't have to relearn everything over, just need to go back and adjust things, set goals, and work together. I love how he's working at this with you, and how he's by your side now in all this. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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    1. Well EsMay he has always been at my side in all of this, just sometimes I was pushing him in the bush! LOL

      willie

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  25. Surprise! It's Me!

    I loved this post and I loved the last one. I LOVE seeing you happy to be where you are!

    You inspire so many....ME included! As you know, Brice and I are in a very different place, but still in the same place...Finding our way, one layer at a time.

    Love ya lots!
    Betsy

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    1. Who is this? I really need to get better Bouncers working the door here.

      LOL..I suppose I should explain that the 'last' one you LOVED was the one I pulled, because people are going to question why you felt that way about a book review! LOL.

      I wish I did less inspiring of you and more finding the words to make you LISTEN to me! Sheesh...poor Brice! ( wink ) You aren't really in that different of a place. YOU just refuse to follow your compass. You know you have it. You know it is accurate, you are just being too stubborn to read it! YOU know I am right! Where is Lucy? I need back up here!!!

      Love ya more!
      willie

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    2. I am here....I am backing up the Bronco....ready to load you both up and head out of here. Oh, wait....that isn't the kind of backing up you wanted....was it?? ;)

      Yes, Betsy....you really do need to learn to listen better. I feel for Brice....the man has the patience of a saint. LOL Oh....I couldn't even get through that without breaking down.

      I have nothing....except....I could not work with that kind of dough. I would get frustrated and throw it away. Not that you should do that with Barney....oh Lord, I am so not helping today. Um, well....Betsy....clean your compass off....and Wilma...well.....put some chains on your tires and get back on the road. Better? No? Okay....on my way in the Bronco.

      Love ya girls :)

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  26. I love everything about this post! The analogy, the honesty, the real emotions. I love it!

    I can relate to this post so much, and you described all those feelings so perfectly.

    You certainly have a way with words. :) Great post!

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    1. Hello again Kenzie!

      Wow thanks for the high praise. I am overjoyed that my pastry ramblings made sense to so many. When I finished this post I thought, oh well it is what it is! LOL

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  27. Well, I'm not a chef so the whole pastry thing is beyond me but I do get the stumbling and rolling down the hill. It's good to hear that you both look forward to what you might find on the path this time. I don't think we ever go back the the very beginning anymore. We have some safety nets in place that allow us to back up, get our feet under us again and on we go. Sounds like you and Barney have those too. This walk ( I know you hate journey) is just too important to let a bit of stumbling keep us from brushing ourselves off and moving forward.

    I love your words "individual yet strong" I had know idea how many things were going to come up and have to dealt with. It feels like I'm constantly fighting old demons and challenging old thought patterns to become this person I've always wanted to be. And I see changes in Luke too. It feels like as we grow individually we strengthen each other.

    Love this post, Willie!
    Clara

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    1. Hi Clara

      The first year of this little adventure we are on, ( you are right I HATE journey) I felt more like an archeologist than a submissive wife. Discovering things about myself I never knew and then falling into the pit I just dug up. Phew. Those days are behind me now, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are more to come as we progress further down the path.

      As daunting as that may seem, for right now anyway, I am hopeful it will continue to make us both stronger and understand each other that much more once we climb back out again.So I'm not too afraid. On a good crazy day maybe a little excited even.

      I'm glad you liked my post Clara!
      willie

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  28. I love baking and have always been intimidated by pastry. Somebody must have scared me once telling me how hard it is or something...maybe I should rethink that?!

    But I think just being together it causes natural friction meaning struggles and those are normal as long as you both are interested in solving them, you know what I mean?

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    1. OH hello Julia!

      I HATE pastry making that is. I do it, but it isn't my favourite by any means. It isn't hard but it is annoying at times!

      I do know what you mean. For such a long time I thought I was the only one in our relationship with struggles or Barney's struggles seemed so black and white. This line of thinking got us NO WHERE. LOL. We were both interested in solving our own struggles, and sometimes that was possible but the old saying, Two heads are better than one did help far more!

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