Monday, April 21, 2014

The Times They are a Changin'- and Good bye Fitness!




Well I suppose it happens to all of us eventually.  After blogging since BEFORE our adventure into Dd, my need to share seems to be coming to a close.  I know what will happen now, I have just jinxed myself and all hell is going to break lose!  For that very reason I am not going to say that I will never post again- as I will now most likely have to do it next week!  lol.  What I am saying, is like many before me, I am seriously contemplating if there is a need for future posts and where this blog will be heading- if anywhere.

Spring is trying desperately to arrive here, and with that brings my busy season with my volunteering.  I have noticed that my pain is finally subsiding.  (Before you think I have had some sort of miracle between posts,  I didn't share my pain/problems until after being in physiotherapy for quite some time.) Anyway, my volunteer 'work' is primarily physical so this could take up a great deal more of my time than usual, as I think I may have to wait for my husband to help more than I'd like.

I also wanted to thank everyone for all your comments, emails, IM's and phone calls surrounding my last post. I was truly touched, especially those of you who shared your personal struggles with pain and how you cope or overcame those struggles.



 I fear this time I am going to commit a personal crime and only answer in bulk to my comments here.  I'm sorry.  Those of you who know me know I never to this- not answering comments on a post  is a personal pet peeve of mine.....there it is out there.  I have confessed. It drives me batty that people spend time to read and comment and support others and then their comments go unanswered  ( without explanation of course- there are so many times when life gets in the way and people really just can't do it- I understand that).  I am mentioning this just because I want you to know how truly sorry I am that I am not answering individually.  I hope just this once you'll understand.

Like I said, my pain is lessening.  I now can actually count the times in a day where I feel it as opposed to count the times when I don't.  I like these stats much better!  I am hoping that this trend will continue.  Barney is doing his part by threatening me- the man loves to threaten!  I do believe his last one was, " Don't do too much today, because if your arm becomes sore, there is another part of you that will end up more sore"  Isn't he cute?

In an effort to get my submissive heartset back on track, he announced that we would be starting dailies-  and sadly he was not referring to contact lenses.  Since that proclamation, I have been ill so it never came  to fruition.  Such a shame *wink*.   See nothing to write about here people!

Oh he did say to me during r/a last week:

" When I said you need to eat breakfast, I meant something nutritious.  More than a granola bar.  If I left it up to you and only said you need to have protein, you'd be down to eating a peanut.  I know you" ( snicker)

Honestly we are seemingly in a spot, where 'crap' still happens- but we just process it.  There are occasionally screw ups on both our sides.  We still have hurt feelings that can cause distancing on both of our parts.  We are far from perfect, either one of us.   Together we are trying to deepen our Dd relationship to a level where we both feel it should be for us.  Some days it is perfect for me right where it is! LOL. The tables, as often can happen, seemed to have turned somewhat where Barney is more the one concerning himself with this, and I am dragging my feet.  Not because I don't want it- just because when obstacle courses are set up I generally don't feel the need to run to the finish line and start to get us back on track again.  Yup I have become the coaster!  Who would have thought?


I suppose if he didn't spearhead the 'rebuilds' then I would try----------------eventually, but there isn't much of a need for me to do that anymore.  Think of it like sex, right?  You go with out it for a while, and sometimes the need lessens.  Sometimes it is greater- especially when it is impossible to have, but often we adjust and move on.  Suddenly the other party decides now is the time, and perhaps you are thinking, 'yeah, I have sleep on the brain'  too bad!  And then it is back in your heart/mind again.  That is basically what happens here....um only with spankings!

So as you can see....not sure what I can possibly write about that will be interesting for anyone to read.  I certainly don't have any all the answers so I don't ever want my blog to become a teaching tool outside of gaining something from our mistakes.



 Time doesn't dictate ( especially with my  physical limitations on the computer) where I can read and comment as well as blog.  I really do enjoy reading about others adventures, so I won't be stopping that, ( so yes you'll still here me blabber on about us in your comments).  I am just uncertain as I mentioned what will be happening 'here'

Okay...now onto 40 Days of Fitness!!!


After well over 1200 minutes or 20 hours of exercise, 2560 oz of water, and NO wine -

I am......

And by the way still not an exercise addict.)

I am happy to report that Down Under Don




 and





Queenie





 both have completed their 40 Days of Fitness with MUCH, MUCH more success than not!  Thank you for all those who have supported us, and those who took up the challenge either on your blog or  by IMing me with your progress.  It was nice to see that I wasn't going it alone!

Love Willie




45 comments:

  1. Hi Willie,
    Will be grateful to see you or hear from you whenever you can to let us know how you are doing. May all your adventures be bright ones :-) Glad to hear the pain is lessoning for you and hope it continues to heal. Many hugs, Terps

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    1. Hi Terps.

      I will be around. Maybe not commenting as much, but at the moment I have no grand plans for leaving entirely. Although I am sure that day will approach soon enough. Thank you as always for the kind and positive comments you have always left

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  2. Oh for goodness sake don't go completely, do pop in now and then to give us updates on yourself. You know it's not all about the big stuff, it's reading about the normal everyday stuff that keeps some of us going. Otherwise we start thinking that everyone else has more fun than us and we must be doing it all wrong!
    Just never say never!
    I do know though how much time this blogging thing can take and that can be time away from family and people in your life that are close to your heart. It is sensible to take a step back or slow down at times.
    Really well done on your Lenten challenge, you made me feel so good but you have proved what I always knew: that not everyone gets addicted to exercise - more excuses for me.

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    1. LOL Janey! I know it isn't always the big stuff. I too enjoy reading the every day things. However for the moment anyway I just don't feel the need or desire to share much. I know things can change on a dime around here, so that is why I would never formally say good bye. That would certainly jinx me!
      My reason for, let's say pausing, really has nothing to do with time.

      I know what you mean about exercise. My exercise fanatical friends still cannot comprehend that I didn't get addicted to it. They have it in their head that I chose not to be addicted. Okay then! lol

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  3. First of all, Congrats on your 40 days of fitness! I'm so surprised that 40 days of fitness didn't turn you into a fitness junkie;) lol I hope you celebrated with a few glasses of wine!

    I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to read your last post yet. spring time brings a very hectic schedule for me and not much time for blogging and reading, I hope to catch up soon.

    I do understand the need to take a step back from blogging and spend the time with family and other commitments, I have been doing the same. Sometimes I just don't have much to write about these days or can't find the time to write. I hope you do stick around and bring us your fun humor once in a while though, we would miss you too much if you completely disappeared.
    Hugs
    Kim

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    1. Trust me Kim, no apology necessary. I am stepping AWAY from blogging but not really based on time constraints. I really have lost the desire at least for the moment. No not in a bitter type way, I think it is just time. Like I said, who knows what the future will hold so I won't say this is the last post for sure.

      I don't intend to disappear entirely. Again at least not at the moment, but I do see that happening some day as well- just based on what I have seen with fellow bloggers. So much gets processed in a year or so of blogging, but after a while- for me at least, the pitfalls are smaller and have less of an impact on my emotional well being. Many things are small pebbles in the road, that cause uproar for a day or so, but I know ttwd isn't going anywhere, so the *need* to process now in the written word is not great.

      I always promised myself that my blog would be open, and honest. Warts and all. For over a year and a half the words just came to me. I don't want to force them now. It doesn't support the initial feel of my blog. It makes it feel more watered down. So time to step away.

      As for totally disappearing- not yet anyway!
      hugs back
      willie

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  4. What?!? No, please don't go away. I completely understood though, and I hope you still update us occasionally. I know how busy juggling everyday life can be, and I know blogging takes time away from family and responsibilities, I'm happy you are throwing yourself into your volunteer work :) and I'm happy the pain you've been experiencing seems to be getting better. I will miss you, but I hope to hear from you now and then. I wish you nothing but the best!!

    Hugs!!!

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    1. Fear not Jennelle. I will be still harassing you on your own blog!

      As I have said to those above, it is time to stop writing- at least for now. I want my blog to be as genuine as it was 18 months ago. Exposing my feelings and struggles as well as triumphs. Trying to write a post because I haven't written in a while does not appeal to me. If I feel the need I will again, so it isn't good bye forever I'm sure.

      Thank you for all your kind words and support Jennelle. It has been a real joy reading your comments all these months.

      Hugs willie

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  5. This post is both sad and good at the same time. I'm sad I won't see you at the top of the blog roll as much (but do update once in a while) but I certainly get your reasons.

    Way to go on the exercise! 40 days with all you've had on your plate is impressive indeed. Does the "Goodbye Fitness" part of your post mean never again or just "goodbye challenge?"

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    1. Hey Leah, well if you put your blog roll in alphabetical order, I will remain somewhat near the top of your blog roll. See how helpful I can be?

      As I said I am sure all h*ll will break someday and I will be back pouring my heart out. But until that day, I'll just have to leave even LONGER comments on your posts!

      Good bye to fitness? Well mostly just for the challenge. I am fairly active in the warmer months. Of course assuming warmer weather comes that is!

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  6. Dear Willie,
    The lent challenge concluded, but there are always new challenges ahead. I am so glad your ailment is responding albeit slowly. I think think this id a sign to all of us to take better care of ourselves.

    Best wishes on your continuing journey...hope to see you in the comments pages

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    1. Hello Don

      You know the best part of the 40 days of fitness, is that it brought you out of lurker mode. Even if I am not going to write anymore, I sincerely hope that you will feel comfortable to comment on other blogs now. Or you know start your own *wink* I'll blog about that if you decide too!
      I wish you continued success on your exercise goals.
      willie

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  7. I don't know what is wrong with my eyes but I thought that I read you weren't going to blog anymore or for awhile. I keeping rubbing me eyes but each time I look, it says the same thing. Is there a misprint? It better be a joke

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    1. Nope no joke, but YOU lady will not be shaking me so easily. You lucky duck!

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  8. You, little missy, are going nowhere. Take a break, you definitely deserve it, but the journey continues... which includes your story.
    Seriously, you can't leave.
    I'm guilty as charged on not answering comments and I also agree that it's rude not to speak when spoken to. More often than not, I'm overwhelmed with emotion when I read the comments, and like real life, I choke up and can't speak. So I say now, my sincerest apologies. :)

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    1. Oh no need for apologies. My personal pet peeve does not include the odd time. Heck my personal pet peeve wouldn't even include what I myself did here today! LOL...I just mean people who never acknowledge that you commented... Ah screw it ..never mind!

      I find your comment about ME going no where quite ironic Invisible Rogue???? wink.

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  9. I'm glad to hear that your pain is lessening, shocked to learn that a granola bar is not considered a nutritious breakfast, and concerned/saddened that you may be retiring from blogging. I hope you will just take a break and then still post from time to time.
    Take care,
    Meg

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    1. Hey Welcome back Meg!
      I am presently away and desperately trying NOT to do things to slow my progress,and am sadly failing miserably. Hopefully I don't screw things up too badly.

      BUT let's get something straight here, a granola bar is apparently not breakfast according to MY husband. I mean pfft? Who listens to him anyway? Oh right. Ahem. Well I've kept my promise and have had fruit and something else since he brought it up.

      I can't make any promises about blogging either way, ( sorry to disappoint those on both the yay or nay side of the fence). The mood may very well strike me again. Only time will tell I suppose.
      Thanks Meg
      willie










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  10. Willie... Things just would not quite be the same without your humerous perspective. I agree that our blogs don't always have to be all about TTWD. It is getting to know one another on a different level that also helps us to understand one another when we share the tough issues. You have never been known for mincing your words. You shoot from the hip, call it like you see it. It is ok to step back from time to time. The reality is life has it's times. We all have our committments. Sometimes we have something to post about, sometimes not. I am guilty of reading and not always responding because I just am not sure what to say in the moment. Doesn't mean what you have posted did not have value. Often it takes me awhile to process through things I have read. But then again, I am realitively new to this lifestyle. Perhaps take a step back, enjoy the arrival of spring, do the things in your life that have meaning and value and nourish your soul. I am certain you will be around, perhaps not as frequent, but you will be here. I for one, would miss your unique perspective. You have helped to support and encourage us "newbies" and that is as special as you are.

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    1. Thank you Annabelle for your kind words.

      I still hope to be around in blogland, reading and commenting if I think I have anything of potential value to say. Who knows where my blog will be heading. I haven't a clue. Perhaps next week I will be writing again. Perhaps next fall. Perhaps never. I have always said I would never write a good- bye post, and to me this isn't one. I really haven't been inspired to write in a long time.
      When I first started living this life, posts would rattle around in my brain until I 'got them out'. I had to type them and hit publish and then my head would empty. I suppose I never knew what a 'gift' that was. LOL. Honestly I just felt, sat down at the computer and typed. I didn't give it much thought ( and perhaps that is evident..lol). These days my mind is relatively silent. Hence the no writing. Perhaps some situation will motivate my mind once more. Only time will tell.

      I am, always have been and always will be eternally grateful for the support of those who have read my blog. Even those who only comment every once and a while. So thank you once again.
      willie

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  11. Well, I suppose it is a very good thing that we are not dependent on our quiet (okay, mine is practically silent these days) blogs to find each other. The need to process stuff out here, out loud, lessens over time. It's simply the way it is. I think you do an incredible job of staying as engaged as possible, even as your own needs diminish.

    BTW, even from far away, I will be standing behind Barney with my pathetic threats as you begin your volunteer work this spring. YOU be careful! It does not take much to get the pain going again. Keep drinking that water too. Humm...lol, what else can I be bossy about this morning? :)

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    1. Pfft... We have call display you know ? I can just not answer, AND I don't have to turn on the computer. Taaaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaaa Susie Silenced! LOL.

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  12. Well, you and I have had this conversation a few times before lol so you know that I know exactly where you're coming from with the whole blogging thing...totally get it. Like Susie said, for some the need just seems to naturally lessen over time. Doesn't mean the urge to write something won't strike again, probably when you least expect it, but for now, it is what it is, so why force it?

    And I'll echo Susie again (because she's such a smart cookie:) and remind you to please not push yourself TOO much with your work this spring, superwoman, er, I mean, Willie. *wink*

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    1. Yes Tess you and I have talked about this numerous times. I guess I am now where you are. Which makes sense as I am a bit behind you time wise with ttwd too! lol.

      You are right no need to force it. I want my blog to be an honest documentation of my personal adventure, and in my opinion forcing myself to write or writing about things that I haven't personally experienced is not what that means. Of course others style their blogs differently, but this is how I want mine to be.

      I will TRY not to push myself too much. I am with little people this week and well.....not great for the injury...sigh.

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  13. I'm so happy to hear that your pain is better these days! How wonderful to be finally seeing an end to that. I sincerely hope you never have to deal with that again, so please be careful. Also, many pats on the back for sticking to the challenge even when you didn't feel like it! Way to go girl. Not that I ever doubted you. Really? You're sure you're not a fitness fan yet? Miss it just a little.........Really? Well, okay then :) Thanks for motivating me to get off my butt and get back into my workout routine. I probably wouldn't have done it without your challenge.

    I can understand you wanting to take a break from blogging. I'm not sure why, but I've been expecting it. Selfishly, I will miss your posts, I think they have been so helpful to so many. You have shared so much of yourself and I will always be grateful for that. I know I'm not alone there either. I do hope that you will post now and then when the mood strikes and you have the time. Otherwise, I know I'll be 'seeing' you around.

    Lots of Love, Queenie

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    1. Well Queenie, as typical as it is, as soon as you say something life makes a liar out of you! I think maybe I am just getting used to the pain, or it is merely different. Oh well no matter. It is what it is. Someday it will hopefully get better.

      Thank you for taking the Fitness Challenge with me! It made it so much more fun chatting with you about it.

      As for blogging, I suppose for those who know me it isn't a huge shock. When we first started I uncovered a lot of things, usually in a painful way so I need to write to process. Over time the sheer volume of posts diminished. I was trying for once a week, but I really couldn't find anything to write about. I wanted to 'give back' to the community that supported me so greatly for so long. However without part of me actually going into the posts it didn't seem right. So this is where my head is at write now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

      I look forward to seeing you around too Queenie. You know where to find me anyway!
      Lots of Luck back at ya and thanks for reading and commenting Queenie.
      willie

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  14. I've been mia a bit from blogland recently, so I have to read back and catch up on your previous posts - but I have to say I was sad to read that the blog might end. I completely understand of course, and will support you in your decision, but I will certainly miss reading about your journey!

    I hope you update from time to time and let us know how everything is! :) Your blog has been great and you are such a sweet genuine person! :)

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    1. Awwww thanks Kenzie for the sweet words. I don't want my blog to become a 'groaner' so for now I feel this is best. We shall see what the future holds. Never say never! Boy that is something I certainly have learned since starting ttwd.

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  15. First, congrats on the exercise challenge. You go girl! Also glad that your pain is better and like Susie said, make sure you take it easy.

    I so get the lessening need to post. It diminishes over time. I bet you pop up from time to time and I sure hope you do. We will miss you but I am glad you will keep reading and commenting. You are a good friend and someone who has contributed so much to this corner of blogland. So long for now but not goodbye.

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    1. Thank you Zoe. I don't intend on going too far , for now. But no need to 'bore' my readers! lol

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  16. Congrats on the exercise challenge!! Way to go!! But just as important...I hope that you find the time to pop in every once in a while...let us know what's going on. I've enjoyed reading your blog and really hope to do so in the future, too!

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    1. Hi Maggie!

      I am honoured that you enjoyed reading my blog. That really does mean something. Who knows what is on the horizon? I may be here soon enough stumbling and crumbling publicly again.

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  17. Yay for no more hula hoops and double yay for drinking wine again! I have to tell you, I thoroughly enjoy your posts, however often they may be and dd-related or not. So although
    I wish you smooth sailing, I do hope you'll post now and again if/when you need to process your thoughts
    :-)

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    1. Oh River I don't believe we will have smooth sailing. We haven't really for any great length of time, it is just that well I can't seem to find it in me to share anymore. Not that I have anything against sharing, the desire to process immediately here isn't there, and by the time the 'event' is over, well I just don't.

      I'll bug you plenty on your blog though!

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  18. Congrats on completing 40 days of fitness! While I'm sorry to see you stepping back from blogging, I completely understand. It can be very time consuming. You've been at this for so long. I can see why you might not feel as great a need to write and process. That's totally understandable. So many of us in the beginning are just so confused and back and forth with all of this that writing is what we need. But I can see how that need would change as you get your feet on the ground so to speak. I love reading your blog and have found great insight here, but I feel happy just knowing that you'll be around!

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    1. Oh Rose,
      When we first started ttwd I think I posted almost every day! I used to call myself Weepy Willie. LOL. Your need for blogging does morph just as ttwd does. Or at least that is what I have found. As time went on I thought a lot about stopping blogging but that was mostly emotionally driven. Now I am at peace with the idea. It feels right. That is not to say that I WISH I had things to write about. Well not painful things. I was sharing an older post with a friend the other day, and I realized how much 'better' my writing was back then. LOL> Now I seem to state the facts and move on. Not what I wanted my blog to become.

      All that being said, I know I can always come back here and share with whomever wants to read. That alone is a great comfort.

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  19. Hi Willie, firstly, congratulations on the fitness challenge! I'm so happy to hear your pain is lessening and hope you are soon fully recovered. Please do not over extend yourself with your volunteer obligations. Look after yourself.

    I too understand the lessening need to blog, coupled with a busy time for you. I sincerely hope you will post from time to time to let us know how you are doing. Your posts are an honest reflection on your adventure and have been such a great help to many, including myself. I miss our morning coffee/bedtime tea chats. So happy to hear you will continue to read and comment.

    Much love
    Roz

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    1. Our coffee/bedtime tea chats were great Roz! Gosh that seems like a lifetime ago, and yet just like yesterday. I noticed even before the computer issues you have been having that you too have been posting less. I suppose there is probably an average length to a blog life. That is just the way it goes.

      Much love to you too
      willie

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  20. I lurk, I love your comments on other blogs. I understand taking a step back from blogging, but please don't disappear!
    DF

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    1. Welcome back DelFonte. Guilty as charged for lurking on your blog too. I won't be leaving this community in the foreseeable future, but I am still uncertain what direction this particular blog will go.
      Either way, thank you so much for reading!
      willie

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  21. Hi Willie, so far I have only been lurking and not commented here, which I feel even more sorry about now that you decided to write less here. But on the other hand I can fully understand that there is a time for either a break from blogging, or even stopping it. ... I find blogging highly addictive, therefore I still hope that you can't keep your fingers away from the keyboard, though :). And I am also glad that you will go on commenting in other blogs, because I enjoy your comments a lot, there, too.

    Nina

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    1. Oh well Nina, don't feel sorry. We have plenty of time to get to know each other through others posts and your blog.

      The first year of ttwd I too found blogging addictive. I also found it a great necessity. Whenever I walked away, I seemed to loose my way in ttwd. It was almost a lifeline to our own adventure. I suppose one could say we have 'cut the apron strings' . While I still enjoy reading and leaving comments when I think maybe my experience might add something, I certainly don't want to turn my blog into something other than my personal experience concerning ttwd. I feel that may happen if I don't have the 'need' to write and I am just writing for the sake of writing.
      willie

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  22. Willie,

    Sorry to take so long to respond, but I came down with a case of bronchitis and have been off the computer for a week. Feeling better now and so I just wanted to say I will always look forward to reading your blog if and when you have something you want to share. You and Barney are something special!

    love,
    George

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  23. Hi there

    Meredith said u might be able to help me start blogging. How does one go about it. Website? Background? Pictures? Warning message before opening it?

    Thank you so much. My email is jackie_berlant@email.com

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