Wednesday, March 4, 2015

F ~ You Kamp Kumbaya!!

Well THAT was fun while it lasted!  That is correct, self reflection, holding hands, chanting Kumbaya, all flew out the window last week.  What? you didn't honestly think that I was going to live in a state of perpetual bliss from here on out did you?

Anyone who honestly lives ttwd for any length of time will tell you, as much as you want to believe Tinkerbell will be farting glitter in your life eternally it doesn't happen that way.  Just like life before ttwd you have bad days.  Horrible days at times.  Days that looking back are so absolutely ridiculous you think what on EARTH was I thinking?  Oh wait...I wasn't!

I had one of those days last week.  A friend suggested it was the full moon.  I like that suggestion just as much as any other, because I know 4 other women who basically lost their minds ( or you know blamed their husband...*cough* you know who you are!) last week too.  Some who are still struggling to get back to 'Glitter Days'.  I also would like to claim the that my hormones may or may not have played a huge part in the events that follow.

A couple of days before 'the incident'  Barney had given me what we will refer to as a " Wall Buster"  spanking.  Unfortunately I ended up quite blistered.  I suppose the wall was bigger than we both thought.  Put down the pitch forks, these things happen, for me more so than others apparently.    Anyway,  in part maybe this had something to do with me being 'off'.  The blisters were huge this time, dividing one cheek in half.  I wasn't upset so much about that, as again I know it happens, he doesn't set out to do that.  I was upset, looking back, damn you hindsight!, that he didn't ask or check on me the day following.  The day following he slept most of the day.  I should be kind here and say that he normally doesn't do that.  I should also mention that he spent an hour and a half picking up and dropping kids off at various schools because of early morning practices and ridiculously cold weather.  HOWEVER that afternoon I really didn't care.

The week prior we has such a good week in many ways.  He was continuing his stride, and somethings were physically wonderful, others not so much, but he was present in all forms.  The weekend came and kids, work, life happened.  "We"  and more importantly "ME" ( snort) became pushed aside.  I know right?  How totally unreasonable!  The 'incident' day then became a bit of a shocker.  We were alone again, and he slept?  RUDE.  

As he was getting ready for work, he looked me in the eye and said, " What is the matter with you? "

" Well I just feel like today was a total waste of a day"

" I don't know about YOU but I have at least another 12 good hours left in it " ( pfft exaggeration time?  He had 10 at best!)

" Really? because where I stand I have all of.....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh 2 minutes left with my HUSBAND today" ( fyi, italics = extreme sarcasm tone)

At this point he had his back turned to me about 10 feet away.  I was getting changed and was holding a cotton/gauze skirt in my hand.  He said something, for the life of me now I can't remember his exact words, but they were dismissive...I KNOW IT!   I took my skirt and whipped it at him.  Oh yes, you read that correctly.  I would just like to point out here, that gauze is NOT the best material to 'whip' at lightening speed toward someone 10 feet away.  Perhaps 10 inches?

 Yes, it kind of was as effective as THIS

Responding out of frustration of my failed skirt 'attack' and the fact I felt dismissed, which boy oh boy not something I 'enjoy' ( who does?)  I dropped the f-bomb ( kumbaya THAT) stormed out of the room, and slammed the bathroom door!  Oh yes, complete with second hand above the handle to make sure it really slammed~  stupid new lightweight doors.  For good measure I locked it!  Take that, only a 5 year old with a penny can unlock my fortress of solitude!

From the other side of the door I heard, through clenched teeth no doubt, Barney " Get out here right now"

No movement from Willie who sat on the edge of the tub.

Apparently an angry husband does not even require a penny to 'unlock' his wife's fortress of solitude. Anger just has a way of busting opening a door like magic.  Barney strode into my fortress.  " I said get back in our bedroom right now"  Still no movement from Wilma.

Face in my hands, clearly NOTHING in my brain, I said, " I have an assignment for YOU.  When you are at work tonight I want YOU TO REFLECT on how you would feel if I was so dismissive to YOU like you just were to me? "

He stood there for a moment and then left.  Blah, blah, blah the next day didn't get any better for me.  I was pissed/hurt.  He was withdrawn.  My friends were so incredibly helpful.  Maryanne suggested I purchase a 'whipping' skirt for next time.  I found one !

Not sure if this will produce the correct type of whipping 

Another friend was kind enough to share with her husband who apparently laughed at my 'plight' . ~ Finding it funny that I was so upset and threw a fit of epic proportions because I didn't spend time with Barney.  This visual is for you Jerk  *wink*

Anyway after a day or so, it was suggested I 'journal' to Barney and leave it on his pillow.  I did.  Another day past and so many 'failed' attempts at talking.  Barney would get busy with something, or he'd fall asleep on the couch even though he set his alarm to rise with me to talk about this.  So frustrating.  Living in this state was NO FUN, however, I must add that at no point was I worried about not living ttwd anymore, we were just two seemingly angry people.  Okay *I* was one angry person.  

Thursday night he finally came to talk to me.  YES...he to me, I am not THAT good that I can always turn to him .  I mean, *I* had written in the journal right?  His move.  In my journal I had offered up several 'reasons' why I might have blown up on the Monday.  I made it clear that I said reasons not excuses.  I also went on to explain how conflicted I would be about being punished for this.  NOT because I didn't derserve it, I know I did, but because I was mentioning it the journal.  I didn't want to him to think or me to feel like I was manipulating this situation to be punished ( yeah I know who would want that?).  In addition I explained that NO I didn't WANT to be punished, but I might feel resentful if I wasn't.  Why you ask?  Because in the past when push came to shove and it was a heated moment, Barney has not relied on ttwd.  Basically, the times when we really NEED it~  not when I am absent minded standing on a chair instead of the step stool.  Those times he has no issue.

He went over my journal.  He discussed my reasons, ( oh the full moon wasn't in there by the way).  He totally glossed over, as in didn't even discuss, my feelings and concerns about being punished over this, and went on to discuss the hormone factor.  He stated that sometimes I need space.  At that point I armoured up.

How many times in the past 2 plus years have we talked about me NOT needing space when I felt the way I did that day?  I was beyond crushed.  I felt like it was all for naught .  ( I know drama much?).  I left the bedroom.  Behind me were 'commands' of " Where are you going, come back here".  

" I'm taking some SPACE'

 Down in our kitchen I was moping around realizing that this was going to get me nowhere.  I marched back upstairs, violently brushed my teeth, grabbed my emery board and flopped back into bed, filing my nails like  I was a human belt sander trying to resurface a piece of furniture with decades of paint on it.  Frustrated with silence, I tossed the emery board aside, and huffed as I laid down for 'bed'.  Moments later I picked up my journal and started erasing my entry ( oh yes I was a real peach that night).  

"What are you doing? "

" This was a stupid idea.  I knew I shouldn't have written this, and like you asked I only did it because ***** said I should.  I KNEW it was useless to do so"

" Communication is never useless"

" It is when you only cherry pick what you want to talk about.  I am erasing this because quite frankly I don't want to remember it.  Ah forget it!  It is taking to long I'll just cut the pages out tomorrow"

Somehow we managed to talk about me 'needing space'.  He clarified that he meant HE needed space ( for the record here, even several days later that is NOT what he originally said).  He went on to say that he was so pissed that day, and even the few days later when he kept putting off talking, that he didn't want to DO or say anything in anger.    With that he left and I went to bed.  HRMPH!

The next day I had to take him to work.  Minutes before we arrived at our destination, he said,

" I sense you are distancing from me.  I will not have it.  Monday I will deal with this, if not sooner"  So basically we were sweeping the week under the carpet and now we are going to go with distancing?  Meh.  Fine.  WHATEVER.  

He got out of the vehicle.  I waited to see which side front or back he was going to come around.  I went the other way.  He waited.  " Where is my kiss ? "  nothing.  " Oh boy you are some pissed aren't you?" sigh...chuckle and shook his head.  

Things were a bit calmer in my by the time I picked him up after work.  Let's face it anger is difficult to hold on to, especially if you are separated.  It was still boiling under the surface, ready to pop out if given 'just' cause ( yeah right JUST).  We ended up having an okay evening and most of the next day too.  I honestly can't tell you why I wouldn't let this go.  Again, I knew things would eventually get back on track.  Again I actually didn't WANT to be punished, although I can hear your screams of disagreement on that one from here.  I just couldn't let it go.  All of it.  Unfortunately my mind was a blank slate as to WHY this was.

Friday or maybe Thursday, I am not entirely sure of the timeline I had sent Barney a post I read.  I was actually kind enough to highlight some text for him~  I'm great that way! By Saturday night he had read it.
 "Tomorrow morning before the kids get up, we will deal with this"  Uh huh.  I ended up sleeping half the night on the couch, not out of defiance, but because I woke up next to an air compressor again....inhale....Pfhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufffffffffffff, inhale,  Pfhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufffffffffffff repeat.

At 6 amsomething, he woke me up.  " Get in the back room ( furnace/storage room).  Feet on the matt, bend over the freezer"  

" Good morning to you too"

Wild frizzy hair,  over,sized flannel shirt wearing, and half asleep, I meandered into the back room and did what I was told.   

After a few whacks with the cane to my thighs, ever mindful of my bum, the new growth skin and blisters, (because he is sweet like that)  he began to speak

" This is for disobeying me the other day"....This next 'pleasant' Willie moment brought to you by the clearly insane~

" What?  So all the crap that happen leading up to this is gone then? "

" Stop trying to control this!"

" I am NOT trying to control.  I am seeking clarification here.  Clarification is not control it is COMMUNICATION!"

" I was going to get to that.  I could list a hundred things for which this spanking is based"


I could go on, but basically there was a WHOLE lot of whacking to the thighs, me lifting my feet up

" Keep your feet DOWN!"


" It isn't supposed to be easy!"

....a few standing ups...

" Get back into position"

Good times, good times.....NOT.

" Look I don't think this is supposed to go on for 35-40 minutes here.  Are you still angry?"

" I just need a moment" ( said through gritted teeth)

.........and so he started again..... ( internally I started to cry...'I just need a moment....please I just need a moment)

He stopped again, and I said, " I am angry but NOT at you...please I just need a moment" .  Finally he stopped ( why did the kids pick THAT day to sleep in?  sigh)

" Go upstairs and get back into OUR bed"  I did and fell deeply asleep for 3 hours.  Sleep was probably the only time in the past week I have been somewhat comfortable!  Currently I am still hovering to pee ( you're welcome).  Did I feel better?  A bit.

The next day the boys were off to school and I was bent over again.  Seriously who is this man?  He made it clear that it wasn't a punishment but we still had a long way to go before leaving the previous week behind.  Ohhhhhhhhhh wonderful ( but true).  

Things are much better now.  So why share this?  Well because I guess I wanted people to know that despite having resided in Kamp Kumbaya for a bit, we still struggle ~ I still struggle.  My struggles seem to change as time goes on, and yet sometimes they appear so much the same as they did 2 years ago.  Things are always slightly different if I take the emotions out of the situation and rationally examine it.  Things are always different because WE are different.  Case in point, Barney saying he was too angry for a few days to deal with the situation.  I could say~ well he was holding out on communication, which is true, he could have told me he was too angry to talk/deal, but I am the last one who should be pointing fingers here.  Anyway in the past he would have not talked or brought up the situation BECAUSE he wanted it to disappear.  Huge difference, even though to the naked eye the situation looked the same at the time.  

( oh and please DO share with your 'HOH' to show them YOU are not the only unreasonable submissive out there...yes YOU.  I know I"m not the only one!  lol)


  1. Can we claim a global misfire of common sense for the last few weeks? OMG it's been a struggle. I'm glad you got back on track. The cold toilet seat will feel amazing as soon as you can sit. I imagine it feels better with the burn and not the bruise. Oh well maybe next time. LOL

    I'm glad you wrote this. So much with me last week we went through together probably not realizing how much we were in the same path. (We need to baracade that one). Thanks for all your support. This was great. I will share with Fonzi.

    1. Hi Erika!

      A global misfire sounds good to me. I mean it can't really be OUR fault can it? At least not with so many women in the same predicament. Something was amiss for sure. I already explained to you about the toilet seat! Sheesh , not listen much? Poor Fonzie indeed! I can now actually sit, if you must know, but really far back, I feel like I am going to fall in, so the hover will continue it would appear.

      I tried to explain last week, " I've been there" to you...( I guess I should have said, I AM THERE)...did you not believe me? Snort. We do need to barricade that path...I suggest we use things we have laying around the house. I will donate a few canes, and a paddle or two. What have you to contribute to the barricade?

      You are welcome on the support, but no need to thank, like I said we've all been there ( as my post proves yet again!). Oh good share with Fonzie, and then have him ban you from talking to me! lol


  2. Give yourself some grace my dear...we can sing Kumbaya next week:) No seriously, thank you for sharing is so hard when you are doing so well and then out of left field comes a ball that wacks you upside the head. It takes a while longer for me to process these things than when things are already rough. It's like you don't want to let go of the good of where you were and be present where you are because you want to hold on. Being present isn't always a picnic unfortunately. It takes courage to share when we mess up...and you are courageous:) Now let the bad go so you can sing Kumbaya at your present picnic:) I am afraid that this makes absolutely no sense...hope it does:)

    1. GRACE? pfft!

      It really is difficult you are right when you are doing well and the rug seems to get ripped out from under your feet. Not too demanding are we? I still am not entirely sure what happened to spark my angst to be honest. Perhaps a combination of all those things and more I mentioned? Perhaps I'm just mentally unstable? Okay that isn't really a 'perhaps'.

      I messed up? What the flip? Oh yeah I guess I epic proportions! I was like a snowball rolling down a hill out of control, doing nothing but gaining speed. Thank Goodness Barney put an end to it. And thank goodness it WORKED.

      Meh I am not a fan of the song Kumbaya anyway! Picnic? It is a little chilly here for that at the moment! Although as you know we did have a chocolate fondue outside last week~ can that count?

    2. Sure!! I will bring the wine;)

  3. Oh, believe you me I will be showing this to Zeke!!! Since our little fiasco last weekend Zeke has been right on top of things. I already know about the one coming tomorrow to set me up for a night out with friends and my daughter. Maybe it's good to have these resets once in awhile.

    At any rate, you are very entertaining. Love reading your posts :)

    1. Well Paige as I always say, " stumbling blocks can turn into building blocks if you let them" ( um the good kind, not the wall building kind *wink*) Happy to hear things are at a place where you both feel more settled.

      Thanks for the compliment!

  4. I really don't understand a thing you are trying to say here Willie, it is always Kamp Kumbaya over here!
    Yeah, about that .... Some sort of atmospheric pressure issue? Whatever it seems to have affected our little house of calmness here too.
    But here we still seem to be on the huge consequences for the standing on chair type offences (not that I ever actually need to stand on a chair) and very limited / non existent for the f@#$ you type ones.
    Oh and I get my thoughts out by journalling too and then place the journal carefully back where it was, getting annoyed when he doesn't see it has moved and so doesn't check it. Where has his mind telepathy gone? At least you leave it on the pillow.
    I'm so glad you are able (even in hindsight) to recognise it all for what it is and appreciate the diversity of life.

    1. Okay woman YOU SUCK!...I was in Kamp Kumbaya for a while, did you visit me then? NOPE....I figuratively come out of the washroom with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose, and toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe, and suddenly you appear! Hrmph !

      I can't imagine why you wouldn't need to stand on a chair...giant that you are! I do understand so much of what you are saying. Barney used to say it was because he feels in the F-you moment that he has contributed to my reaction. It has been a work in progress for him to understand that while he did hurt my feelings, my reaction shouldn't be that way, as his never would be.

      As far as the journal and the pillow, I might have left out the fact that it was on top of the pillow I was using to smother him in his sleep *wink*

  5. Huh, we are out of sinc. This is how this week has begun for me/us. Still not resolved or even begun to touch it yet.
    Glad you seem to be working it out. Sorry about being worked out on your thighs, OUCH!

    1. Looks like you are in the slower class this week Blue Bird. Oh well, take a lesson from all of us then! I mean, wait, clearly none of us did anything right. Maybe you should do the opposite of all of us!!!

      Things are officially worked out. Barney now has a cold, so I think I might have bummunity!!!! Whoo hooo! Good thing too because my thighs are ugly as sin, I don't need a matching bum.

  6. I'm not sure which visual was more striking - the attempted whipping with the skirt or farting glitter. Maryanne's suggestion is awesome :-) Sorry about the rough patch and glad you're working it out. And sorry for laughing at your expense, but the skirt... really?

    1. Well Chickie, clearly the skirt was not striking! It was floating. Still pissed about that! No need to apologize for laughing at my expense, that was the intent. It really was a stupid week!

      Things are fine between us now. I am back to my feisty, noncompliant that is to say ANGELIC self, and Barney is back to exhaling loudly and shaking his head. Life is good! ( Oh you suck too. For reasons why see the comment I left for Janey ;) ),

  7. I'm gonna look forward to next week when the sun is out and Kamp Kumbaya opens again, because it will open. You know it. And seriously. The skirt?! I laughed so hard at that and I was lucky enough to hear it from the horses mouth. I mean your mouth. What horse?! On a serious note tho. I think sometimes YOU think too much and need to just get spanked everyday and be done with all this searching nonsense. Ok. Maybe not so serious, but you should get soanked everyday. Oh. And stop trying to get ME spanked along with you.

    You just keep whipping that skirt....

    1. Hey...H*O*W* *I*S* *T*H*E* B*U*M* ?????? BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I so love that your husband an I are friends.....!

      Yeah, yeah, the skirt thing was funny....but so is you getting your bum smacked on a snow day! SNORT. Now if *we* can only get him to work on his weaponry and duration.

    2. Oh. Hi-larious. Pffft. I'm not a fan of this "let's get Maryanne over the professors knee" nonsense! And his response of "I'll get right on that Boss" was NOT funny. And! As far as the WEAPONS go--I'm gonna find something for Barney but it's gonna be for your mouth and not your bum! Like a ball gag! Go whip your skirt somewhere else lady. I ain't havin' it!

      Altho. In truth. It was needed but this is in NO WAY an admission of my gratefulness. I was perfectly fine before today, I'll have you know! *smirk*

    3. Apparently somebody didn't finish the job

    4. I am not talking to you no mo.

    5. Meh, it's okay, I'll just text your hubby if I feel the need to talk to someone in your house. ( and *IF* you can go longer than a day without me....)

    6. Yeah yeah. Whatever! You're a weenie poop.

  8. First of all, I'll have you know that after reading this that stupid Kumbaya song was in my head for hours and I woke up in the middle of the night singing it straight out of some sort of nightmare.

    I will have my revenge.

    But anyway...I am in my second week of all this nonsense and well, it makes me feel better to at least see you completely losing it over what looks like small stuff (and we both know how that really works). I wrote a post that I never published about how there are moments when it's really not all about communication. As cheesy as the words are, sometimes it's more about loyalty and remembering to believe the best about our partner in life....and then there's that inevitable mind boggling walloping that sets things to rights.

    I may consider forgiving you for placing this song in my head simply b/c I get to retain the picture of you throwing a gauze skirt at B...see, can't type...laughing too hard. Our lives are way too ironic at times.

    Highlighting stuff in an email. Daft! :)

    Love ya...and I'm glad you are more yourself this week. How's the bum doing?

    1. Well it would appear Susie dear that you have already gotten your revenge. I had to read the second paragraph several times to figure out what the heck you were saying! And I am still you win! Looks like your revenge was not a dish served cold this time.

      My bum btw was fine when I wrote this, I'd say thank you very much, but I know you concern was NOT genuine! Clearly you were not paying attention, or singing Kumbaya in your head while reading, as it is my THIGHS that are the issue here!!!

  9. What the heck is going on, can't men read our minds, do we have to spell everything out? Sorry Barney..... After I told Ty that this DD isn't working because he wasn't giving me the attention that I wanted/needed, he not only told me that we are not going to quit it but, well my butt hurt for awhile. He has now just taken me by the arm into the bedroom, got out the stick, pulled my pants down, and beat my bottom. Each and every time. He does not want to ever whine about not having his attention ever again. So Willie, be careful what you wish for because I got the attitude adjustment three times in one day, and that was just for attitude, didn't include the bigger spankings...
    Miss you............

    1. WELL clearly Miss Attitude Adjustment 3 -times in one day girl, you are not nearly as angelic as I am! Perhaps Ty should focus on your thighs? That seems to really be a deterrent around here, this past week!

      Miss me? I'm around is your 'sharing' of the 'green light' in google with Ty that has me confused if you are or not.

  10. Hi Willie, neat title, very expressive! :) I am sorry that you had such a time. It sounds like there was maybe a wee bit of a misunderstanding before you wrote things down and afterwards. This is not meant as criticism, it is just out of curiosity, does Barney have sleep issues? Or did he catch a cold and has to sleep because of that?

    … And maybe you should whip Barney with something else next time, the gauze skirt really was a bad choice. Cute, but bad! How could he keep a straight face in that moment?! Obviously he is much more in control than you knew.

    But seriously, I think what you wrote into your journal about the punishment makes a lot of sense. Sure you don’t want punishment, but you identified that this was one of those moments where not using discipline creates resentment. Wow, just being able to give this a name is not always easy, so I think that’s great.
    On the miscommunication … maybe it would have been nicer of Barney to tell you that he was angry. I mean, that he wants to keep the distance then, ok, though this is definitely easier to understand when told in time. But all in all he definitely has stepped up a lot, hasn’t he? I am pretty impressed because he must have left a lot of colourful marks on you. Blistered bum and thighs... you do take a lot before letting it all out, it seems.

    So maybe it took a while until you and Barney got everything sorted out again, but you did, you communicated and unless I read that wrong, you two are in a very good place, aren’t you?



    1. Hi Nina

      Nope no misunderstandings at all actually, before or after I wrote this post if that is what you are referring too. As for Barney, he has a way ( although he is getting better) about not actually SAYING things directly. Naturally I am there to question for clarification! I'm just helpful that way.

      As for the skirt thing, his back was turned to me at the time. So he didn't see my 'attack'. It would have been so sweet if it floated over and landed on his head. Sadly it was not meant to be!

      Yes Nina Barney has changed quite a bit in the last 8 months or so...I know a few people I could 'blame' for this. And yes I do sometimes have a thicker head than I do skin, so I end up being very well marked at times because of it!

      And Yes we are in a good place now ;)


  11. OK, so I guess that I have seriously, seriously missed the point of this discussion.

    But it appears to me that you are blaming Barney because you reacted to something small and stupid and his response was to get his anger under control, think things through, wait for you to calm down and for things to get back to a degree of normality before he reacted.

    At the risk of getting a hammering from all your fans....someone has to stand up for Barney. I think he reacted not out of anger and passion, but with love and compassion. I just hope your bottom is recovering from his ministrations.

    Back to Kamp Kumbaya now??? I hope so

    1. Yup you seriously missed the point. I am not blaming Barney. I know we are BOTH at fault Don. I reacted to hurt in a way that was not helpful. He was annoyed that I disobeyed him by not coming out of the bathroom. HOWEVER he did not communicate that he needed to get his anger under control, partly because I don't think he consciously recognized it for what it was at the time. He kept saying we were going to talk, and then did not talk when he said we were going to.

      All that being said, this was NOT the point of the post. The point of the post was to share with other women how we all make mistakes and stumble. I honestly don't believe that this post was a 'hit' on Barney at all (nor does he for the record). No one needs to stand up for Barney because if anything this post makes ME look silly, not him inept.

  12. No offense intended Downunder Dom,
    But I really have to tell you I hate that word ministrations, it sounds like something straight out of a gynecologists office ewwww.

    Cassy (another Aussie)

    1. I still think it sounds like, " Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, put your hands together for the Magnificent Barney and his Amazing Ministrations ". Of course maybe that does happen at your gynecologist's office? I suppose I should ask Steve....( I'll just go stamp my own passport again)

    2. Oh My God!!! You need new friends? I think I should plan ahead for you. I'll bake some cookies and get a picnic basket ready for you to share with the Ape and the other barbarian. I think they really do need to save you a seat close to the fire after all. STAMP STAMP STAMPšŸ˜±

    3. I was never like this you know? Before I met you.....okay that was a lie. So on my trip you are going to give me cookies to 'share' with the Ape and the "Dark One?" That really will be hell because I will have to WATCH those two eat them in front of me. Could you at least make sure they have fruit peel and chia seeds in them? I know how Steve loves those two things!

      I read a quote the other day, made me think of *heavenly* you~ " The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers...just sayin' "

    4. Are you serious? I have to climb stairs? But but but, the Ape told me pretty white Angels would come and carry me away and harps would play and crystal raindrops would float gently around me washing away my woes! Cleansing me of all the impurities and the bad influences of unsubmissive friends! You mean I am going to have to lug that shit up a couple of flights of stair? Sheesh Help me out will you, teach me to be rotten to the core like you so that I can ride the Fatboy down the highway.

    5. PRETtttty sure if you keep on this lying vain it will 'help' you get into Hell. As IF the Ape said anything so, well let's go with poetic because I am feeling generous today. Extremely generous actually, considering I had to swallow the bile that rose up into my throat while reading your comment, to type a response.


      PS, Steve really doesn't mind you calling him a Fatboy? I am surprised

  13. Okay.... Today I shared this with the Gorilla, not because I am also an unreasonable submissive, because clearly I am NOT.
    Basically he was sitting in the airport lounge bored shitless so I thought I could use you as entertainment for him. As expected he cracked up laughing at the skirt float, said he had visions of you chucking a pointless tantrum. He sends his commiserations to BARNEY and suggests he beats you frequently. He also apparently sends a cyber high five to Maryanne for the suggestion of DAILY. Yes I will pinch him for you AGAIN. I on the other hand will throw you some support, well it's minimal but hey it's possibly more than you deserve. Hormones, full moon, lack of communication toss in bat shite crazy and you have a recipe for disaster and bruised thighs. (Could be worse you know, he could have aimed for the inside thighs and you would have been waddling like a duck for a week, so be thankful it is just hovering to pee). Journaling doesn't work everytime, but it often makes you take the time to think and explain your feelings rather than exploding and saying things you later regret. Although in your case the journaling was too late and your thighs have regrets. Maybe you should have gone outside and parked your butt in the snow to help the swelling... Snort snort snort. Can't type anymore, my screen is covered in coffee after laughing so hard and spraying it everywhere, clearly my support is much more minimal than I intended hahahahahaha. Oh of course hugs to you xxxxx

  14. You suck! and I need new friends!

    I have decided emotionally I must be a masochist because the friends I choose... ALL SUCK !!! Hurtful.

    So let me get this straight, I put in a visual and everything for Steve, because you know he is an Ape and I figured the visual would help, and you read this to him? Disappointing. I am so pleased I could entertain him once again with my floating skirt and pointless tantrum. Question, so he believes some tantrums are NOT pointless then?

    Commiserations to Barney...pfft.

    You are only defending the journaling thing because YOU ( super *bossy* er Submissive) MADE me do it! Next time I will toss the journal at him and see if that is more effective. As for waddling like a duck from an inner thigh spanking, I am assuming you are just presuming that is what would happen~ being the Spankless Perfection that you are.

    Now as far as Maryanne goes, she is a horrible , wicked person Steve, you should NEVER under ANY circumstances allow Cassy any chat time with her. EVER!!! Good things will not come from it...

    Yeah, yeah, hugs to you too....

  15. Hey Willie,

    Okay, the skirt thing was seriously hilarious. I also have some issues with journaling. I mean sometimes I find it helpful, but most of the time I just tear the paper out and throw it away. Meh. If it makes you feel any better I've hid in the bathroom before too. Actually, I've done tons and tons of really stupid stubborn things, and I know I said in my last post that things were going great. They are, but I guess I really need to clarify what I mean. They're going great because I know that DD isn't going anywhere. No matter what happens, I know it's here to stay and I find peace and happiness in that, I certainly screw up at times. I can be completely unreasonable and bat crap crazy with a hugs side of stubbornness, I totally know it. I love your blog because you're just honest and completely yourself, which is a little crazy and stubborn at times :) but I also know that you will both work through your issues, you both are committed. Barney has grown and changed a lot in the past year, I can see that and I think it's a good thing. I'm thinking maybe Barney appreciates your stubbornness, like I hope my husband does lol. Hope your blisters have healed, and I would never pick up the pitch fork, it takes a lot to get through to me too. Hope you have a great weekend!


    1. Hey Jennelle!

      I just read your post. It was great..." I don't want a &*%* cookie"...That is good stuff right there! snort. I seriously laughed out loud. Why our mind chooses to leave us at times I'll never understand! As I said in my comment on your blog, I think it is great that you shared your 'warts' and all. Sometimes women, but I think more the men in these relationships ( save a few) think their wives are 'different' than many because they don't read about the 'real' stuff. I know Barney used to think that way.

      Now, my stubborness? Well Barney loves it in *some* cases. He laughs at it in others.....and then there is the 'over the freezer' moments where it grades on him. You are right though he sure has changed a great deal in the past year. He is far more (too) comfortable in his, I don't want to say role because that seems like he is playing a part, position? I think that is what has made life around here easier, not that I am perfect or that he is for that matter, just that ttwd doesn't appear to be going anywhere. There is a security in that. This breakdown didn't cause anxiety, where it would have months ago. So ya know that left more room for 'anger'...LOL. I kid....sort of.

      My blisters have long since healed, and my bruised thighs now look more like a water colour of modern art. Sheesh, maybe my stubbornness isn't such a great thing after all! lol

      Hope you do get your time away and outside. I'd be totally bummed if I were you moving south only to experience winter! AND to top it all of a winter with people not used to actually dealing with winter! LOL


  16. Not sure which was better, the original posts or the comments about the skirt. I did not laugh at your poor excuse for skirt tossing. Maybe I should have. LOL

    1. Oh the comments are almost ALWAYS better than the posts Erika! Too bad I didn't have a new pair of winter boots handy to toss! *wink*

  17. My week was the same way. I kept waiting for things to get better and they didn't! And then I started hearing from everybody around me that they were having the same kind of week.

    By the way...when has Kumbaya ever worked for any extended period of time? It's a racket, I tell ya!

    I, for one, was glad to read about Barney chasing you down and couple of times physically and verbally. I think life was difficult for everyone last week and I am blaming Mercury being in retrograde. That sure beats any thoughts about Kumbaya exiting the building....hopefully Venus is rising this week...

    1. Sorry it has taken me so long to answer Cygnet. I am also sorry to hear that your week wasn't great either. I would love to claim that things got better, the just became different. Oh sure things with B and I are good, just stupid life and all!

  18. Hi Willie, well it must be something in the Northern hemisphere because it's all kumbaya and fairy dust here :) Yeah right! LoL.

    OMG, the whipping skirt was hilarious!

    I'm so glad you posted this. It's not always kumbaya. These moments still happen from time to time, but ttwd gives us the tools to resolve them and move on. What stuck out to me is the fact that you weren't worried that ttwd would come crashing down. You recognised it for what is was and knew it would be resolved and you and Barney would move forward. You would not have thought that way previously.

    I'm so sorry you went through this and am glad things are much better now. Ouch, your poor butt!

    Love and hugs

    I'm so glad you posted this. It's not always kumbaya, these moments still happen from time to time but ttwd gives us tools to resolve them and move forward. These moments are also even harder when things have been going well beforehand. What stuck out to me wasthe fact

    1. Argh ... stupid comment box! LoL. Not sure how I managed that!

    2. C'mon Scrappy, I know better than to believe the fairy dust crap with you! LOL

      No I wasn't worried about ttwd coming crashing down. Meh, maybe I was just to pissed to care at the time! LOL. I am still going with horror moans. It looks like life will continue to test us in that vain. Time will tell I suppose


  19. My my My Willie, How I have missed your writings. :)

    1. OMG! How I have missed you!!! Promise you'll stay around ?