Ladies and Gentlemen, place your bets!
Rules have been established. Which one will Wilma break first?
Now I know you really aren’t going to place bets, because of the supportive nature of this community - you are all rooting for me to succeed.
Naturally we have the 4 ‘corner stones’ as Little Misses refers to them, and the famous Distancing rule. So, those are going to offer some challenges, depending on which time of month it is…( tell me I’m not wrong here ladies?).
There are some that are more specific to me. ( It may look like a lot, but really these are just areas of concern for both of us). I don’t expect that everyone will have a spanking aspect to it if broken.
( So here is something interesting about the cycle of that word spanking. When I first brought Barney this life choice, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. After, for a good two weeks, when we were talking in the hypothetical, no problem. Now back to present, and discussing rules,-having a hard time saying it again.)
Rules or Areas of Concern
Diet and Exercise is one of the areas in which I need to work on. I am not to diet…in fact I am NOT TO diet. I have to record a food consumption journal, including my beverage intake. You see I am a bit of a camel. I very rarely drink. I also am not a person who generally gets hungry, due to the fact that I don’t eat very much. I know from experience that the more you eat, your metabolism gets going, and you become hungry. So hopefully once I start to eat, this will become more of a habit. When I do eat, I usually grab crap, so……..guess that is not going to happen anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still allowed to eat crap, AFTER I have eaten non -crap all day though.
Secondly, ( these are not in any specific order) I have to X amount of hours of work around the house per day. Don’t start thinking Barney is a tyrant. I asked for this. I have a habit of seeing things, some very minor, and they bother me. Do I do something about it? Not usually. It is like a pebble in a shoe, it irritates, and rubs. By forcing myself to do these things, I will remove the pebble before the blister forms. This is really more about my state of mind. Ya see, my mind rarely shuts off, so the less things to fuss about in there the better for all concerned.
I am also to employ the boys to do more around the house. This is actually a very good rule, not that most aren’t . I want them to be responsible for themselves. Barney wants them to respect the fact that the house is clean, and they should do everything in their effort to keep it that way. Their rooms and the Rec. Room are areas that they almost solely inhabit; therefore they should tidy it up. AND the bathrooms!! WHOO HOO!!!! Of course, over time, I have ended up just doing these areas because it was easier then hounding them. Guess I’ll have more incentive to push on now.
I am constantly invited out with friends, or friends stop buy for social visits. These visits, without Barney are to be limited to 3 drinks. I can stay as long as I want, and if there is wine with dinner it doesn’t count, ( not sure why, but I’m not asking!). There was never a need to have A.A. on speed dial, this was just something we thought should be exercised. It will be difficult in some cases because I am going to have to leave an untouched drink at some houses- they are the friends that just keep coming back with drinks, before they ask you. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I don’t want to hurt even more…lol.
There is a time frame where I am NOT allowed to be on the computer. This we also came up with together. A time when the kids are here and might need more help and dinner needs to be taken care of etc.. So from 4-8 I’m off. We figured between the time I am doing housework and my daily exercise routine, ( I’m not going for cover girl model here, some days it will merely be going for a walk/hike) there really should be no other time limit needed for the internet. In addition, my family is very far away, so the computer is a cheap form of communication it would be unfair to limit my time.
There are some financial things. Not to get too involved here, but I am to present the bills etc. the day before payday, to work things out from there. This is also to help so that I am not baring the burden of finacial woes, if any alone.
No swearing…so actively looking for additional colourful language. Frig a Jig, gets old after a while. I actually don’t swear that much, but again with certain friends, who do—well “ When in
AND GAZOO RULE! ARGH. Gazoo, first introduced to ya’ll a couple of weeks ago, is a close friend and neighbour. Trouble with Gazoo is he seems to take sport in irritating me. Oh he knows where all the dead bodies are buried so he is very effective at doing so. He turns me into irrational Wilma. This summer I actually threw a rock at him- well a river stone-type pebble. It didn’t even seem irrational to me until my adult nephew said, “ Did you actually just throw a rock at that guy ?”…Yeah so. I am to excuse myself if Barney is not around. I am NOT to let myself get baited. Uh HUH. There is an issue with this rule, as 95% of the time Gazoo only baits when it is just he and I. I guess if I practice not reacting, like all bullies, he’ll loose interest. Sigh.
And then there is potential maintenance, in the not so distant future. Actually, apparently as it is going to be referred to around here, Role Affirmation. Barney, seems to think that I should have very little difficulty following most of the rules, so this is something he thinks should be on the table. Time will tell I suppose.
I wondered about the disrespect part. He said that he has gotten so used to certain behaviors/reactions out of me that he has to retrain himself as seeing it as wrong. I am very rarely the “pitch a fit girl”, so he’s going to have to be more in tuned to what I am NOT saying as opposed to what I actually am saying. - I can understand how that may take some time. ( I hope *wink*)
So after today’s discussion, I was in a bad mood. Not because of today’s discussion. I am hormonal, tired girl. Barney said, jokingly,
“ Well you’re going to have to get over that.” <- ( where did nice birthday letter guy go?)
Wilma: “ Yeah, see that’s not helping. In the future you may actually start a fight with that one” To me it is like saying relax to a person..grrrrrrrrr.
Barney: “ Well what should I say when you say that? “
Wilma: “ I don’t know, I’m just telling you how I feel…but NOT THAT”
Barney : “ I’m a guy, I don’t get how you can’t control these hormones and feelings. How you can’t get distracted by something else to forget about it”
Wilma: “ Think of it as heartburn or indigestion “
Much later, “ Hmm? Sounds like you need Role Affirmation”
Wilma: ( nervous smile) “ Well anyway…”
So the stuff that requires schedules, i.e., diet log, household things start tomorrow. The rest starts as of now.
Any takers on which one and when? LOL