Friday, November 30, 2012

Fear Not Guys, It is Not What You Think

 I woke up early this morning in a wonderful way, that ended not so great...LOL..Mother Nature WHY ?

I attribute my grand slide backwards last month to the visitor that is NEVER invited... I mean I WANT her, but not ..Ya know? Her arrival makes me nervous since we started ttwd.  It makes it even more difficult for us to connect when she visits.  Eventually, hopefully, Barney will feel comfortable in demanding things, and more comfortable with consequences during this time too, but he's not there yet. 

Then there is not only the physical connection aspect, there is this

This is perhaps the greatest obstacle we face.

I was making the bed this morning and I had an idea. I am such a visual person so I decided  I was going to make some kind of sign for me to look at- to remind me to 'be good' (grrrr).  I was hoping we had enough ink in the computer because I am going to have to leave my secret messages to myself  EVERYWHERE- on the fridge- IN the fridge,beside the oven, beside the sink, beside the bed; on the kitchen island, on the dining room table,  on the bathroom door,taped to the phone, the front door; the passengers seat of the van; the dashboard; the headboard; the ironing board; - Okay you know what--- forget the ACTUAL sign thing.  I could design one on the computer and then take a mental snap shot.  So off I went to do that. 

First draft....

I figured with HORROR-MOANS stacked against me, I'd need to go into "SUPER" mode. You know shoot for the moon, hopefully land on a star half way?  As I stared at my motivational sign , it gave me sort of a 'gotta get it done'  feeling.  Like conquer it .NOT  really what I needed.  Back to the drawing board.

Next, I found alterations necessary

 So would this work ?  It was more like an internal order. Hmm. I really don't like being told what to do. It gets my "Irish Up".  I need to be coaxed I think.  As I was trying to figure this one out, my not so subconscious sent me this message:

                       Right- the Submit Now button was not going to work.  I then came across this

 Better.  Why ? because I often think of a feeling of contentment when I am submissive-  Except that blanket could very well be made of Phentex wool and really scratchy?  WHY would I automatically think of that?  Why not just think it is soft and wrap myself in the blanket and experience the warmth ?

Oh I get it! 


I don't  REALLY  have an issue with whatever you want to call it. I don't .  It is just that it doesn't....well when I am in a submissive mindset, that is not the overwhelming feeling I get.  I get a feeling of contentment.  Like this

This is a place I could stay for a very long time. A place where others are drawn in.  It is my fireplace seat.  My happy place. My cozy nook.

I must concentrate on this photo and the feeling it gives me, because that is how I feel when I am 'submitting, surrendering, yielding, deferring.  I am emotionally in my cozy nook place.  ( is not all about sweaters and books either- that blanket can easily be thrown down  in front of the fireplace too -*wink*)

A submissive mindset/ heart allows me to feel this type of contentment and that is what I desire. A warm, comfy place, where even though a cool draft may come in from the outside, it doesn't put out my fire and source of warmth.

  So from now on I am on my Cozy Nook Quest.


  1. Cute post Willie - good luck on your quest to find and stay in your Cozy Nook.


  2. Thanks Cat.

    This week all my Christmas decorations go up, so that should help. As a friend of Barney's once said, " It looks like Christmas threw up at your house."..
    I say friend of Barney's for obvious My decorations are very tasteful, even if their owner isn't. It is just that the only rooms not decorated are our bedroom and the upstairs bathroom. Shouldn't be too hard to find my cozy nook literally then!

    Might be hard to run the stairs though. I have large garland on the railings...I see Christmas balls and ribbons falling down as the wind from my running knocks them off of the garland.

    Enjoy your Friday- may it only have short meetings, if any!


  3. I am not going to comment on PMS and things like that.
    But, to keep it short: I'm glad to see TWO glasses of wine in that cozy nook.

    1. Haahaaa.Bas, I thought only Emma would comment on that!

      It took me a surprisingly long time to find just the right picture-and yes that search did include the 2 glasses of wine.

  4. Hey Wilma, my house will eventually look like Christmas vomited on our humble abode. I mean that seriously. We have a small house and I have a lot of junk to decorate with to create an atmosphere of cheer.
    As to the most important part for you in this post, hope it's a good week.

  5. Yay! Well I am always happy to meet another over the top Christmas decorator! I live in a shoebox, and I tell you I have enough decorations to decorate a 3000 sq ft house I'm sure. I don't even use all of our decorations. The boys have smaller trees in their rooms. We have MY real tree (lol) in the livingroom and the fake kids one in the basement. Garland runs the banisters from the top floor to the basement. Garland above the kitchen cupboard. Everything lit..WE are an electricity sucking fire hazard! Sorry I should stop. I can't WAIT until next week to get it all out- can you tell?

    Christmas baking starts next week too!! Whoo hoo! Breaking out the BNL Christmas album ( Elf's Lament is one of my favourites Susie!). I'll be Suzy-homemaker, so I should be able to find my Cozy Nook no problem- well unless some squares stick to the pan, or half the lights don't work after I decorate the tree...WAIT a minute..I should have brought ttwd Barney as a New Years Resolution..BAD timing on my part!

    Oh wish me luck!

  6. Great post Willie. I think we all have trouble with TTWD when Aunt Flow visits.

    1. AND why does 'she' get such a term of endearment? AUNT...pluhleeZ!

      She should be Mother-in-law Flo

      (although Barney's mother was a sweetheart)

      My issue is not so much being a witch once it actually arrives- those emotions are is the over all gross feeling and not wanting to be touched because of it...kinda hard to keep the connection going in that case :)

      This TMI moment brought to you by your friendly neighbourhood Cave woman.

      Back to Christmas stuff!

  7. I can relate, Willie. I am an emotional mess during those days every month. Ian used to just keep his distance, but now he says, "is it cramps?" etc...and he will rub my back, but if I am disrespectful or grouchy - he spanks for that. He says I am allowed to be feeling crampy and bloated, etc... but I am not allowed to take it out on him or anyone else.
    It doesn't help me feel it any less, but I don't take it out on him like I used to.
    I hope you feel better soon :0
    hugs and love

  8. Actually Lillie, I am very fortunate, I think I mentioned it somewhere before I am on a mini pill so all that nasty stuff, the pain, isn't really there anymore- well compared to what I have dealt with my entire life that is.

    I have never been one to be (more) b*tchy. I am anxiety ridden prior, and I usually have insomina the night before- but even that is getting better.

    It is just the distancing I do during. Like a wounded animal I suppose LMBO! So it hard to reach me. I'm actively trying to try though. Bring on the bottle of Cab- I'll get through this week--YUP 7..count em SEVEN fun filled days...sigh!

    TMI Willie!

  9. Hi Willie!
    Love your blog - you always make my day.
    I love to decorate the house, creating a cozy atmosphere
    with lights and colors and coziness!
    It's really dark here in the Winter months, and decorating is
    a good way to keep depression at bay!
    I just wrote on my blog about submission.
    (for lack of a better word) It's a whole new world.
    Hopefully one for the better!
    Happy December to you and yours!
    Jack's Jill

    1. Oh Jill you are so sweet!

      I was already at your blog and left a message. I have no issue with the word submissive at all, just can't wrap my head around it as an emotion. The emotion is what I am desperately trying to remember and hold on to in order to be somewhat sucessful. How I FEEL when I am actively submitting. That is what I was aiming for.

      I think it was Lucy I was saying to ( most likely lol) that I feel like I have a cable knit sweater on, a glass of wine, in front of the fire ( Gee a Sears Wishbook cover ) when I am 'in the zone' So Cozy Nook arrived from that. It helped today get things done so my house was a Cozy Nook for B when he got home, and my mind was at peace, and I felt Cozy too.

      It get really dark here too-Like 4:30 in the afternoon. At the moment we have no snow to help brighten it up. The Christmas lights outside help so much- in fact I usually get a little depressed in January when they turn offbecause it is so dark, even with the snow. We keep our tree up until after Little Christmas.

      The other benefit of Christmas decorations inside, the ambient lighting is fantastic for dust! lol. I seriously LOVE this time of year- it has its sadness for us too...but there is literally an physical feeling of an inner glow !

      I think things will be better for all if we stay on track! You and Jack seem to have it working for you at the moment. Congrats!

      Enjoy the magic of December yourself!



  10. I just had o comment that I snubbed my work today, got my sister in to babysit my guys and got out ALL my CHRISTMAS decorations!!!

    yeeeeaaaah! Talk about relaxing.

    Love the pics in the post!

    1. Emi!
      I am so happy for you! Asking for help!

      There is just something about Christmas decorations that is so magical isn't there?

      I hope they continue to work their magic over at your house.

      Big excited hugs!


  11. i've decided that this year i'm not putting out the decorations. not cos i'm a scrooge. just that i always enjoy doing the getting it out - but no one helps with the taking them down. and i'm always left grouchy and miserable when i'm doing that part alone.

    so in order to make my life easier, i'll just hop over to my sister's house and take in the Christmassy spirit there. And when Christmas is over, i won't have to suffer undoing the deco.

    in the meantime, that was a really fun post to read. i'm sorry you had to go look all over for that submissive feeling, but glad you found your cozy nook. *hugs*

    (i need to go stock up on wine...)

    1. Hey Fondles! Welcome back

      Here I go imposing my views, and offer opinions when not asked...I hope you reconsider about the decorations. For me walking through the door, or first thing in the morning seeing them changes my mood.

      My neighbour who lived alone, and often went back to her folks place for a few days at Xmas used to feel the way you do, and probably still does, ( sadly she moved and I miss her dearly-our first season apart). Every year we would do her tree and decorating together ( yes that means she had help I suppose)= but she would have to take them all down herself, as I was busy with my own. Yup my Christmas wonderland take down is ALL on me. Anyway, at first she said she liked it, but I could tell there was some sparkle missing from her voice. So every day about 15 minutes before her arrival home, I would go and plug in her lights and turn on her Xmas music for her. I did that for a week or so, and then the first day off she had, she said she found herself doing it first thing in the morning. It made her stresses of the week go away. She had her own cozy nook.

      Not saying it would work for you..but maybe just a few shiny things? LOL

      As for my post, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to do. I especially loved finding Wendy and her "B*tch Please" comment. I suppose I didn't have to go all over to find my submissive feeling...I just had to recognize it in myself and find the right photo...THAT took a long time :)

      Enjoy your Christmas Season whatever you decide!

      Oh wine!! Yes...get some wine!

      Love willie

  12. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere we go... I love it.

    I like your idea to try to hang on to your warm, cozy feelings. The reminder of your inner ambiance is much better than a note to "be good."

    Willie, 7 days...or more. Yep, I feel for you. I remember those days from not long ago, but I think I've outgrown that. Hugs...if you can stand being hugged?!!


    1. Hey Irishey!

      I love it too! I cannot wait for the day after Halloween, for all those yucky decorations to be sent to the clearence section of the store and for the happiness to begin. Now if we could just get more than a dusting of snow I'd be even happier !

      I hope to continue to use my inner cozy to get/stay in my submissive mind set...This whole 'be good' thing is too um surreal! LOL...I mean I'm ALWAYS I obviously had to find something else to motivate me. LOL

      Actually telling me to 'be good' is almost like waving a red flag infront of a bull...tee hee.

      As for being hugged? Poor Barney. He read and laughed at my post last night- especially the second PMS picture. He commented, well on a LOT of things, but one was the mixed signal part. That and the distancing. I really am not b*tchie..go ahead ask him, that often, or mouthy, and he doesn't ask much so I pretty much don't disobey, but the distancing...HOOOOO NELLIE! Anyway, last night he went to bed before me..and all I really wanted to do was snuggle..wtheck? So unlike DMS ( the D would be for DURING) Willie. Oh well we'll figure it out or not. I told..oops not very good, anyway said, that he has the keys to the kingdom now, you want to snuggle, we snuggle. I think he's still afraid of loosing something valuable if he tries anything DMS.

      WOW...chatty patty dial it back!

      Have a great weekend Irishey!

      Hugs back


  13. Hi Wilma, cute post, I love it. HORROR-MOANS are definitely not good for DD wives!

    I love the cozy picture, and noted like Bas that there are 2 glasses :) I love that cozy contented feeling I have when I am feeling submissive - it's bliss!

    Good luck finding and staying in your cozy nook.


  14. Thank Roz.

    I was in the middle of looking for something for my next post GOOB related, when I saw the time, and though...OHH OOHH I wonder if Roz has commented :) !

    I just realized there are a few things I have to talk/confess to Barney about before I can actually enjoy the view in my cozy nook. Sigh. Today there will not be an opportunity, so tomorrow it is. My heart is very heavy at the moment, now that I realized this, and I just want to get to the other side.

    Oh well, I guess 'this' is what it is all about.

    I hope this finds you sitting in your cozy spot with Rick.



  15. Awe, you were thinking of me? I'm chuffed :)

    I'm so sorry you have a heavy heart at the moment. I know what it is like having something you need to confess, or an 'issue' that needs 'dealing with' and just wanting to come out the other side and enjoy your cozy nook.

    As for me - I'd better hot foot it to bed or my but will be cozy!


  16. I'm too shy to talk about it, but I sure do understand the anxiety that comes with that time of the month and how it creates a bit of a physical wall and then the blasted hormones create this emotional way. Oh uck, I'm getting anxious just thinking about it.

    I love your cozy nook. I want one of those in real life one day. The big cozy couch, the walls filled with my books, the fireplace and my hubby. It's a very nice mental picture to keep on those hard days.

    So...this would be day 2. How's it working so far? Rooting for you!

  17. I want one of those in real life too. WE have an electric fireplace, not the same. My brother in law hit the nail on the head when he said that I bought it only so I could have something else to decorate. Mind you the tree always goes right beside it, so I guess a real fireplace wouldn't work. In my next house. -I grew up with a woodstove and I loved it!

    As for working. I think it is. Today will be extremely busy when we are together, but it is the apart time that is more difficult anyway. Not sure if you noticed, as I seem to be really wordy today, but I have commented that I realized there are somethings I need to talk to Barney about before I can relax in my overstuffed chair and truly enjoy the wine...but I'll get there.

  18. Hi Wilma :)

    I love this post. It is funny because I have been giving myself little mini pep talks to try to keep my submission from going on a mini vacay...while I simultaneously end up over Ryan's knee. Perhaps, I need a sign of my own...or ten...or twenty sprinkled all over the house ;)

    I agree with that you said about feeling your best and "coziest" when you have the right mindset in check. I feel so much much more lovable. I HATE when it leaves me....and I am trying to get better at telling him when I am struggling.....

    Well we all know I don't have the PMS Horror Moans...I got the...I am growing a baby blues ;) No, mostly I am good ;)

    Love ya!

  19. Well the growing a human here are Horror Moans too...just a better result at the end!

    Yes feeling more loveable is the BEST part of being in the cozy nook! I hate the empty void that is found when the feeling leaves too.

    Love ya too!