Thursday, December 6, 2012

Look B#tchy the Elf Has Arrived!

 Okay I'm MAD.  I can hear my Dad now, " Wilma dogs turn mad, people get angry"  Well angry sounds like too much of an adult emotion for me right now...Grrrrrrrrrrrr.  Tomorrow is suppose to be Role Affirmation ( or what ever you want to call it day), the only thing is I don't have time for that  tomorrow.  By the time the boys leave for school and by the time Barney has to leave for work, we have 2 hours...Now before you go calling the authorities, I don't mean my spanking is going to last 2 hours.  He has to _____, Shower and Shave during that time too.  Tomorrow is pay day and I want to go grocery shopping those 2 hours.

Frame of mind to start the day off.  I then thought, well I can scrounge something up for dinner tomorrow night no biggie, I suppose.  But I was still ticked.

 Perfect, let's put up the tree and decorate outside !  UH huh- back and forth with the GINORMOUS tree, cutting off inches, switching tree stands...(crap I forgot to put water in...grrrr!) alright, that is done, minimal damage to the stipple (yuck) ceiling this year- YaY us!.

Up into the attic I climb,( fyi..FREAKIN' cold up there)...... BANG! -- Oh that was pleasant, hitting my head on the rafter.--  LOVE it!      OUCH...ouch,     hair caught on shingle nail poking through...                Woaaaaaaaah, don't step there, you'll go through the ceiling...Okay where the FRIG is the other little wreath that goes under the window outside.? WT_!! I just made them last year!  Seriously where ARE they??!! .  SIGH..

Giving up and fuming, I start to 'gently toss' Christmas decorations out the two inch hole to Barney down below.

" Let me get up there and take a look maybe I put it somewhere"

" doubt" <- I'm not proud people

" It is not up here"

Thinking..." no______ Sherlock.  The place is only so big, pretty sure you are not going to see it with your Man eyes if I didn't with my Wilma Hawk eyes" 

Breathe Breathe Breathe.  Not his fault..

"I'm going downstairs to see if the wreath is down there"

NOW downstairs, if I wasn't in a fowl mood before, OY!  The storage room...

 Moving the 3 recycling boxes, one for paper, one for containers and one for liquor bottles/cans ( one needs to be bigger btw), and climbing over the station that is set up for them,..argh, sports equipment   wth?  water trampoline on top of ice skates?  Man this dining tent weights a ton !    WHY is the canoe rack over here?  AHhhh! water flotation devices in with the winter boots?  Nice 'filing system' Barney !  Okay, just behind the Christmas wrap and Disco decorations?   ( Did I mention we live in a shoe box ?) sigh...Here's a Christmas box.


 Freaking Bike peddle!  Yup on the noggin again. This time by a bike suspended by the rafters.  I swear for the amount of times I banged my head on something that had to do with rafters you'd think was 7 foot 2 instead of 5 foot 2 !  By this point I had had it!  Box of winter boots now flying across the storage room followed by an ear shattering

Seriously it was VERY loud. Not too mention the sound of various sizes of winter boots for a family of five crashing to the ground! LOUD

So there I was trapped behind all those as aforementioned valuable treasures of my storage room, when the in the Christmas Decoration box I spotted a plastic, cheap Santa sleigh that every year my Mom used to hang from the ceiling in our Rec Room with fishing line when I was a child.( I know how very Halmark Presents Sunday Night T.V. Movie of me)  It is so beat up, and so very, very tacky.  It reduced me to I ran my fingers over the plastic  WHITE   reindeer, and the lopsided Santa with the hole is his stomach where I think a present once  sat.  Sigh.  I took Tacky Santa and left the storage room.

When I went back upstairs ...B#tchy  Elf returned. I was MAD again. I remembered that we were supposed to discuss ttwd Tuesday, which was bumped to Weds, and then today...which isn't going to happen either.  Not too mention the whole temper tantrum, that apparently WASN'T according to my husband.  Not that I am itching for 

But something needs to get rid of  the Mad this guy  can leave..

And most importantly this Chick !

Because now I have Distancing Dixie beside me here on the couch and I really would like for her to go on an extended vacation for the holidays.  




  1. Well....
    you could always "ask" for a spanking? Although, I still wouldn't have the nerve to do it.. I have read about it on other blogs...

    It may make you feel better...
    I've got a little distancing diva along with me today too, but I have to suck it up because "H" has a Dr visit uhm.. procedure tomorrow and I need to be nice...

    Maybe we'll see an update where your distancing dixie was spanked into submission?

    1.'re gonna NEED to get a spanking before THE procedure, because H isn't going to be able to do it for a while...

      Just how long do you think you can be good? Yikes!

    2. Shhhhhhhh... don't go giving him ideas!!! lol
      I'll be an angel of course!


    3. Sorry I was choking on that last statement...I mean as good as the angel on my tree ( which btw has a star )

      Chilllllllllllax... "H" doesn't read my blog...

      Best of luck tomorrow..Let me know if you need any pointers on how to take care of H after *wink*

  2. LOL, disco decorations?

    I hope you guys find time for a "discussion" very soon!

    1. OH YES Disco the attic I had to maneuver around St. Patrick's day decorations to get to Xmas ones. The Halloween ones are on the other side of the attic, and the Birthday Palooza, Valentines' Day, and Canada Day Decorations are under Heir to the Throne's bed.

      Did I ever mention we tend to have theme parties? LOL.

  3. Willie, Pour yourself a glass of wine this evening and ask Barney for a spanking. Did I just write that? Who am I?
    Seriously though, I hope your day gets better...deep breaths dear friend, deep breaths.
    Love ya,

    1. You are right Bea, I do need Wine not Whine.
      Hmmm? IF only tomorrow I would have time to go buy the stuff to make Home Made Bailey's..but NO...I have to get spanked instead!

      Lovin' Back at ya!


  4. Oh Barney - where are you? Willie needs her butt busted! Sorry Willie but you know it's true. I agree with Bea - have a glass of wine and ask for what you need. If you can't ask for a spanking, ask Barney to come read this post and the comments. ;) For now, forget the decorations, sit back, relax, and think of something pleasant - not holiday related! Hope everything gets settled soon.


    1. I'm sure you are familiar with the saying..

      " With friends like you....." lol

      I'll take the wine advice..oh wait Barney drank all MY wine...grrrr..I guess I'll have a beer. Oh yeah, nothing says Christmas on a freezing Canadian day like beer eh?


      Thanks Cat

  5. Gee Willy, you sounds like me the last couple of days. Hope it gets better for you. It must be in the air because from reading other blogs it's not just us. Apparently, there are breathing the same air too just different from ours. Does this make sense?

  6. Wow! That sounds just like me trying to find things in our house, only I don't have a disco ball and I tend to furiously hiss the F-bomb. I am supposed to clean the garage out, reading that, now I am afraid. LOL! Do they have a Canadian Pickers show up there? Someone call them and send them to Willie's house.
    But seriously, I have to agree with everyone else. Ask Barney to make your derriere shine brighter than Santa's nose on a cold, cold winter night. It will help you find the true spirit of Christmas again. You know "Peace and goodwill to all mankind". : )
    I asked my husband through e-mail for a reset or affirmation spanking yesterday to help clear the air and get us back on track. He acknowledged reading, but hasn't responded yah or nay yet. If I can ask for a spanking you can too! IMHO, I am guessing it will help.
    I would offer to let you take it out on me, but I don't know, is your aim that good? We could always try it through cyber space, if you can figure out how to do it. : )
    Love you Willie and BIG HUGS!

    1. LOL Blue Bird!

      Don't send the Hoarders People over here! I use all this stuff. AND before I started surrendering, I put it all away too :) I just have to get used to the Barney Filing System.

      After reading my blog post, and well an email I sent...( I may have suggested the key to submission is...BOOZE <- seriously...and after only one beer) I got a

      My aim is most excellent ! Unfortunately for me at times. Oh you mean physically, not in vicious rhetoric .

      I hope you get whatever it is you we know your husband has a way of knowing what that is, even when you disagree!

      Love you too!


    2. By the way, when I wrote take it out on me I meant throwing the boots at me. Even with my bum knee I am fast I don't think you could do it. : D

  7. Can I just say Amen! Maybe there is something in the air because from the above comments we all have a bad case "B#itchy Elf". Submission = Booze. Interesting concept that may need more research :-) I would have a hard time asking for a spanking. Some of me says "he should notice".Good Luck, Lucy

    1. Welcome Lucy

      I so understand the " he should notice" thing but as Barney has pointed out, they have trained themselves over the years to NOT notice as a coping skill <- well I actually said that an he agreed, but you get the gist of it.

      Oh booze also = insightful Willie!

    2. I really came back here to comment on your comment here. Booze Woozie Willie is really quite profound. "they have trained themselves over the years to NOT notice as a coping skill" I will try to remember that one.

  8. Willie - you need your "ass tanned" as Ian likes to refer to his ministrations. Grab that caveman and put him to work.
    Take a sharpie and write "this thing ain't going to spank itself" across the seat of some undies and parade by him a time or two - he'll get the hint.
    Good luck and I hope it does the trick.
    hugs lillie

    1. Ya know ...the 2 beer I had did the trick. I'm good *wink*

      I'll have you know I got a small smack in the kitchen for suggesting Booze was the key to submission! AND after he read my post he said, " I think tomorrow will go ahead as planned, but if you need the vehicle, I'll take the bus home after work"

      Public transit,(at midnight) so you can spank your wife? GAH...Happy now Benedict Arnold?

      Pouty Hugs back


    2. OMG - Lillie!! I just laughed so hard that Will looked up from the other room! "This thing ain't going to spank itself..." (I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!)

  9. Oh my I was going to suggest a drink and having Barnie read your post. The problem seems resolved in a timely manner if I read correctly! Lol

    1. Some of it did Minelle...some of it is just under the surface. Of course if you are to believe our 'friends' it won't be resolved until I get my "ass tanned"


  10. Willie,
    You're a head banger. ;)

    Love you girl. Some days are just big ol' bad days.

    1. Oh this day kept getting better and better! epic giggle proportions !

  11. I have never read your blog before today, but I am seriously cracking up over here!! I am sorry you had such a sad day, but thank you for making mine brighter. ;-)

    What is a distancing dixie??

  12. Well Welcome Young Lady

    As you can see you have come over here on a particularly fine day for me- NOT! Pay no attention to my 'friends' btw, their nuts!

    I have all kinds of personality traits that consistantly thwart my goal of being submissive, surrendered, yielding or deferring ( your choice) so I have named them

    Submissive Sally <- She's the crowd favourite
    Defiant Debbie
    and like a bad penny
    Distancing Dixie...she comes along kidnaps Submissive Sally and leaves me withdrawn from Barney..
    Distancing has been my (non)method of coping over all these years.

    I'm happy I could make your day..That was more the point of the post..People have a tendency to laugh at me when I am

    I hope you come by again !

  13. OH Willie...I have just the thing for Distancing Dixie!!! (though I am taking Distancing Dixie from you for awhile..cause I need her!)

    Must be something in the air. I have written a post awhile ago about how we all seem to follow the same track...or smack.....

    Hope you enjoyed your beer..wondering if I could pull that one off, about the beer being the key to submission.

    And just to be nice..enjoy tomorrow :)

    And Lillie, I have often thought about writing across my bottom..smack this. Or just before a spanking 'Can't touch this'

    Love ya Willie....

    1. Now M3

      NO ONE needs Distancing Dixie...NO one...!

      I don't care for it, but in the interest of saving money, I may start buying the cheap wine in the big boxes to get through the holidaze. I'll just throw a straw in the top like a juice box! I mean after the first couple of 'glasses' I should get over the disgusting taste right?

      Love back at you!


    2. Well that would be a new take on the bottle in a brown paper bag....and you would need a pretty long straw too.

      Don't know if you get it where you are...Midori..pre mix..comes in a box.

      Tastes like cordial/juice...not good when you are just sitting there drinking thinking how nice it is...then stand up.

      I am guessing submission will be looking pretty rosy with one of those with a straw stuck in the top :)

      So glad I happen to know that you are not into drinking to get drunk or drown your sorrows (neither am I, just in case anyone reading this thinks we are) I can just imagine your posts if you did...It would not be

      'Look B*tchy Elf Has Arrived' it would be more like

      Look Wobbly Willie Elf Has Arrived...

  14. Late as usual, but I sure hope Barney read, received, internalized the message and is all ready to take very good care of you today in that butt busting, ass tanning way. Sigh...I know.

    But seriously...

    Stick close to him Willie. Don't distance. Search for a tiny soft place in your heart and head for it so that he can get through to you. It'll encourage both of you and it feels so good after.

    1. You and I both know you are not late!

      I'll try and take all your advice in and remember it when the time is right. Thanks Susie


  15. Oh Willie, I hear ya sister! It's been a bad day here too and I'm struggling with distancing and holding my tongue, and not only with Rick either! Scrappy is with me at the moment!

    Your poor head! 7 foot 2, that bit made me laugh. Love the angry elf pic Lol

    Listen to Susie, she's a wise one! Oh, wait a minute - guess that goes for me too - Sigh

    Love and ((Hugs))

    1. Alright Scrappy...out you go..Go play with the other neighbourhood 'pooches'. No dogs in the Submission House.

      Now Roz, the weekend is upon you...go throw some Amaretto and Grand Mariner in your tea and top it with whipped cream. It is known as a Blueberry Tea for those not in the know..but I am going to call it

      Kiss of Submission Tea

      for the holiday season.

      Love Willie

  16. Is it very mean of me that I giggle throughout your whole post? It takes a great deal of wit and maturity to turn an extremely frustrating experience into hilarious writing. I'm sorry to laugh, but it's because of your wit and not the frustrations.

    Too funny. :)

    I hope that today is a much better day.

  17. Hey Ana !

    I can't wait to read your book! Congrats.

    I am very flattered by your compliment. It actually was my intent to make the blog post funny even in my frustration, so laugh away guilt free!

    Willie SUCKS !!! oh well