Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Hitting Rock Bottom (unfortunately not describing spanking my bum)

Goodness it has been so long since I have written a post that doesn't include the sweetness of a newborn, Bas or candy.  I'm not sure if I still know how.  Make no mistake , this one will contain very little sweetness throughout most of it.

I am not sure how to begin.  I have much to say, ( I know you are all so shocked with that insider information).  For a long time now, things have seemed 'off '.  If you have read this blog from the beginning or at least for a while, you have heard me mention this- usually once a month.  Don't kid yourself Horror Moans DO play an unfortunate role in life, but more so in ttwd.  Nevertheless that is not what I am referring to.  Once again Barney we seemed to be on an 8 day cycle.  You are familiar with it...we 'try' to live the ttwd lifestyle but nothing is discussed and on the 8th day or so I get spanked.  R/A which I have mentioned in our house  stands for Reconnection Appointment, not role affirmation as no roles have truly been established.

This particular month even the 8th day had come and gone. Still no conversations about ttwd.  I wasn't even sure if he had read my blog posts, which is odd because normally he does at least that every other day or so.  As I do every time, I started to pull away.  By day 10 there wasn't much of me that was melty at all.



I was sitting on our bed.  Two of the kids were out, and one was on his way out.  Barney mentioned that fact as he was standing near our love seat that I normally bend over for R/A.  I responded with a barely audible grunt.  He went on to inform me that I had been distancing these past few days, and he aimed to take care of that shortly. The words may have seemed HoH- like, but the tone was not. I told  him  no he didn't have to.  He questioned if I was taking away my consent.  I glared at him and asked him the point. 

" The point? " he asked.

" Yeah the point.  Oh right it has been 8 no 10 days now...."

To which he walked out the door and those were the last words we spoke that day, as he was leaving for work shortly after.  I had already numbed myself so there was no  gloating, pain, or  disappointment in his actions or lack there of.  Unfortunately one day turned into two.  Oh we were polite roommates, able to discuss life things without issue.  But as day two came to an end I melted long enough to wilt and die a small death.



What?  Too dramatic?  Grab and air sick bag, you ain't  read nothing yet!

I soon began to do 'research' for a future blog post that I was to put out the next week.  It required me to go back to the beginning of my blog.  I started to read the posts again.  You know when you blog and read blogs everyone is quick to warn you not to compare yourself with others?  They are right.  It can be detrimental when you read about a couple that is so full of hope, and happy and you long to be them- and you aren't 'there' yet.  What happens when  you find that the couple is actually the two of you?  When you are reading your past posts and you feel like you are reading about total strangers ? You long for that feeling of hope and contentment that woman has.  I'll tell you what happened to me.  What little strength I had left, holding on to the edge gave way.  I plummeted.  I hit rock bottom.  Not essentially hit rock bottom...(That has happened many times with ttwd before.  The first major time was in this post which I actually pulled after first posting it.  Not because of the contents of the post, but my comments after.  Today I put it back up Longing for the Feelings of October and I will now keep it on my blog.)  I hit rock. bottom.

The times I thought I stumbled and crumbled before were nothing compared to what I had experienced recently.  I have in the past, withdrawn consent ( for about 1 hour) and also had it in my mind on more than one occasions that Barney and I were probably not going to continue ttwd anymore. But there was always a hope.  The thought that if he reassures me, that he can, we can continue. What I thought was rock bottom before was actually this by comparison




For there is no hope to be seen or felt, or so it seems when you actually do hit rock bottom.  Let me be clear, the incident I described above was not the cause of the plummet.  It merely removed the last stone in front of the wheel of a  very heavy cart that was ready to roll backwards down the hill.  There had been something missing for such a long time.  I tried to patch it.  Many times I thought, okay now...THIS time...this is it!  We are on our way.  We are full steam ahead.  Numerous patches did help, but there was something more underlying that I wasn't willing to face.  Or rather that maybe I didn't know I had to face.  I just knew something wasn't right. I will return to this after.

After reading my posts from last Fall, a sinking feeling came over me.  There wasn't any thoughts just emotions - dread, so much sadness, and worst of all hopelessness.  I retreated to a place I didn't think there was any return from.  I cried off and on for days.  Again not having specific thoughts, just so many tears.  Barney had no clue what to do or say.  I finally decided that we could no longer do this.  Perhaps we were never cut out for it to begin with..I had probably said that tens of times before that day, but looking back those words were merely smoke and mirrors compare to last week. 

I had to say good bye to Wilma for good.  I had to try to figure out how to go on knowing that we had something that was working in our relationship.  Something that was helping 'me' and in turn helping Barney and us.  It would have been one thing to try and both of us not see any results and move on, but having just a nibble of a life together we wanted made this so much more difficult.  I decided that my Spanks for Bas post would be my last.  I would leave my blog up, because so many good people had invested so much time in our 'journey' and offered such sound advice, I thought maybe their words might help others.  In about a months time, once my 'transformation' was complete I would write a good- bye post.

The most difficult thing I did was write thank you and good-bye emails ( or chats) to some of you.  I didn't do it to be overly dramatic.  I believed this to be the end.  I wanted to make sure those who took me/us under their wing knew how much I appreciated them. ..and...After that, 




down I went.  Rock bottom.  I felt like I was at naked at the bottom of a dry well. ( told you to grab the air sick bag~ but that is the visual I honestly had).  I stayed there for the better part of 24 hours.  In my mind after Barney left for work, I was going to go to a hotel for the night to compose myself.  Mourn Wilma and what might have been.  What briefly was. Then come back and try to live in a marriage that didn't contain resentment for what I thought was my husband not trying to give me what we needed.

 The night before he talked to me and told me he wished that I wouldn't give up my blog friends.  I told him, through my tears with my back to him, never once turning around, that talking to them would only remind me of a life I desired.  It would be far too painful.  He left me there without a word.  What was there to say really?

On this day he once again came into our room.  He said the boys were asking if I was sick.  I didn't respond.  Eventually he began to talk. I failed to see the point of this discussion because in my mind ttwd was over. I was done trying to live something he didn't want.  Done trying to 'shove' this gift at him because he seemed to not want it.  There were many awkward pauses in our conversation.  He told me that he loved me and that I was the most important thing in the world to him.  That " nothing, nothing matters more to me than you ".  Hardened, I sat up and looked at him.

" Something clearly does, because you yourself said ttwd was working, and yet you can't get past something to continue it.  That something  means more to you than me.  Than us "  and then I resumed my position. 

He calmly sat there for a while, then commented that he knows it works, but he can't figure out why it works and he needs to know why it works. 

Here is a prime example of me being ahead of Barney in ttwd.  I too went through that a long while ago.  Wondering why it worked.  What was the matter with me?  Why can't I just change if I want to?  I finally came to the realization that it didn't really matter why.  I was just grateful that it did.  I explained this to him.

Again silence. 

" Do you have a problem with the spanking? "

" No.  But I know it is not just about that"

Silence


I honestly didn't know what or if he could say anything to make it better for me/us and I don't think he came into our room with a plan that day either.  The next thing he said surprised me.  He didn't say it in a desperate, or an HoH voice. It was almost if he said it to himself.

" I think if this is to work. ( long pause) I need to do this everyday.  For me."

" This thing we do?  Do it every day?" ( I was confused because that is the point of it all)

" No, well yes...but I need to spank you every day "

say what?

" Um, okay."

" It will be for reconnection.  I think you need it, but sometimes it will definitely be more than that knowing you"

Once again I burst out laughing..what can I say? 

" Pffft...I doubt that!"

" uh huh"

We then discussed taking action now, as it had been so long, but he had decided to take care of it when he came home from work~ to establish a pattern.  I was irked.  I didn't want to wait another 12 hours, not too mention the boys would be home.  He was unmoved by it all.  Kissed me and left for work.



Something happened in me.  A weight was lifted.  Without a finger layed upon me, I felt different.  I felt like I did at the very start of ttwd.  I felt hopeful.  I climbed out of that well.  Yes Barney helped.  But the thing that was weighing me down all this time?....control.

I am not pretending to be wise by any means.

I suppose the bottom had its advantages..because I was totally stripped down to nothing and had nothing to loose, and everything to gain by trusting Barney.  And in those moments in our bedroom I did and I continue to.

  That night he came home from work and woke me up.  Ah yes, woken up for a spanking.  Our oldest was still wandering around.  I said

" I'm nervous, Heir to the Throne is sit up"

" I know so am I.  But we -I have to do this"  At that he put his hand out for me to go to him.  He was propped up against our head board.  I haven't been otk for months.  Usually I am on the bed, or over the end of the back of the 'loveseat' at the end of our bed.  Once I was there he talked to me for a few minutes while rubbing my backside.


" I've been looking forward to this all  day"

" WHAT?!"  I shot back.

"  Well not so much THIS but being able to reconnect with you"  At that he used the silent plastic hanger ( for the record I hate admitting I am being spanked by a bloody coat hanger.  It sounds like we should be on one of those TLC Reality TV shows where they have subtitles for the people ...who supposedly speak English!).  And reconnect we did!

This has pretty much continued every night since.  The odd time he has woken me up to say he is not going to spank me because it is too late or he is going to in the morning.  Odd as it sounds it allows me know that he hasn't forgot.  I find the night time spankings annoying...( something he was none too impressed to 'hear' by accident...) because they are short and stingy and leave me more angry.  So yesterday...I was on the receiving end of a different kind !...and giggling during a spanking Wilma has returned.  I have no clue why.

Right.  Back to the control thing.  I thought I gave up control.  Something many of us think we do, but I hadn't.  Every spanking save the one described in the Wilma has Left the Building Post ( which to this day is still the worst spanking I have received)  I have controlled.  I have reminded him that he said he was going to.  I have manipulated him to remember.  Even my punishment spanking after New Years Eve, I just wanted it over so I was the one to ensure the boys were out of the house.  These are just some of the examples of things I did to chip away at the HoH foundation that Barney was trying to build.  I didn't do it intentionally, but this trust word that many of us TiH like to use, well I was not giving it to him.  Yes in some situations they have to earn it.  But by not trusting that he can figure this out, I wasn't giving him control.  I was steering. 

This will most likely only be lip service to anyone who is not prepared to hear it.  I know.  I've been that person for 3 months.  I can't suggest how anyone go about giving up control.  Some of you might have an HoH who you think should take it from you.  I only know that that would not have worked here.  Our control situation looked something like this ( um, naturally that is me on top...lol)







Have I noticed a change in Barney since I climbed out of the well of despair ( hey I warned you) ? Yes...Are we running forward no. we are going very slowly outside of the nightly spankings..( Alright is my bum bruised from all these spankings..?.not too bad). But there is something different about the way he is at the moment.  Am I silly enough to think that this switch in me is permanent ?  Heck no!  I'm Willie remember?  Who according too my husband is getting a little too sassy...pfft ..Can you believe I received two ( requested ) whacks yesterday for being sassy to a blog land friend..? .Honestly!  I do need to be better supervised when picking friends.

Here is what I do know.  This plummet happened because of both us.   In the beginning, I  was doing in hopes that we would start ttwd..and that was the greatest time in our relationship, because I didn't expect anything in return...no 'help. 'As time went on, I started to get edgy,because help did indeed come from Barney but only sporadically  That is when things started to crumble. This was both  of our faults- he would help but then not...so I stopped living up to my part of the bargain. I started, bit by bit to harden.  Then  I would take back control by manipulating Barney to remember to follow through, ( among other things).  All the while chipping away at his confidence and stealing back what little ground he had gained as a leader.

Here is where the real danger comes in. - Instead of turning to myself to see how I could have contributed, I began to mentally accuse him of the distance that continually occurred.  If he only followed through.  Why doesn't he ______?  But you can only control yourself. 
All of this is easier said than done I know so well, trust me.


All is not perfect in me.  I am not cured or saved...don't get me wrong.  I still can see the empty well behind me-but I have NO desire to go there again






So one shaky foot at a time.....I am following Barney away from it

Thursday, February 21, 2013

**** Spankful For Bas****

Since the beginning of mine and Barney's Journey, Bas has often offered wonderful and often thought provoking advice.  This post will not contain any of them!


Bas:




Don't mind the kind of nonsense I'm saying, I lost my mind already a long time ago.
Fortunately there's a lot of wisdom in the following comments.






Waaaaaaaaaay, back in October, before I even approached my husband Barney about this thing we do, I decided to start a blog.  First I made a Google ID.  I had already been commenting on blogs for a while as " C "<- I'm so creative sometimes it scares me, but I hadn't told anyone I was going to start my blog ( no not even Lillie )...here is the story of Wilma and Bas




Stardate October 1, 2012:
After highjacking other bloggers comment sections for a while, Wilma completes her first ever post.  She hits publish and sends the post out in to cyber space.  She has not informed anyone that she is doing this, so is basically expecting dead air in return. Her post is merely a hello this is who I am post.  Certainly nothing earth shattering

  What happens next is presently surprising. A warm welcome! Someone out therein cyber space was reading!

 
Thankfully not him!

And especially, thankfully not him~ although I'm sure Bas has thought this on more than one occasion reading my posts

No the man who cyber space sent was smart, sweet and oh a little quirky ! 



Bas was the first ever comment I received on my blog~ and my first official follower


Hello Wilma *C Rubble,
Yes, I am quite curious what happened to my old cartoon friends. This sounds weird.
Well, about DD. At the moment for you this is still something you control. The moment you start telling Barney (?), it starts getting out of control. There is this big risk that he says NO, and there is this big risk that he will say YES. Both will be a shock to you.
But, DD is great for reconnecting! Maybe you should try it


I was so excited!  Someone read my blog!  Someone actually sought me out and READ my blog.  Now they were following my blog...HOLY CRAP.  Someone read my blog!  Someone actually sought me out and is following my blog!

Over time Bas reassured me about the contents of my blog

 Your blog is your blog only. And your readers are looking for the Wilma and the Barney who practise DD, not just the DD itself. So this post is exactly to our liking.
 
  Although over time, the winds of change started to shift.  Bas became more HoHy even on MY blog.  He started giving Barney advice!!!



Ah yes, just be Wilma. now there's a great idea.
We'll be back tomorrow.
***cheering on, Barney ****

Honestly I think he forgot who's blog he was on!

and then there were times when he made me angry....

You say, you don't want to top from the bottom.
That's fine, but I think that there is a difference between Topping and Expressing your wishes.
It looks like you have translated "not topping" into "not telling".
In the same time you have this very detailed but secret image in your mind of what TTWD should look like, and as long as he does not, on his own, come up with this same image, he is not doing it correct?
He asks a valid question: "what to do when spanking does not seem to work?"
I don't know an HoH who has not wrestled with this question.
You don't answer this very serious question, but instead just say “ You are thinking along the lines of you. A man. Remember we are dealing with emotional, irrational, ( at times ) Wilma.”
Now, what is he going to do with that answer? Spank more, Cornertime, writing lines?
I am very sorry, but I'm afraid you are burning him up quickly this way.
He is now back at the drawing board. Please go help him.


But in all fairness that comment had me ( after many emails ) talking to Barney and having him reassure me that he understood.  So it was difficult to read at the time ( I know emotional much?) but it helped...
The day after I posted another post and Bas responded to that as well

Well, I have underestimated Barney.
Clearly, he has things under control

 

The real fun comes with the teasing Bas




No, I didn't believe you about the "quick note", and obviously I was right.

I have no idea what you could mean with Cirque du Soleil adventures ;-).
Maybe you want to tell us more about that, when you have a longer post planned.





Those were the Wild Nights.
Guess I'm really innocent, but what is the meaning of edible body paint?
Have seen a lot of body painted ladies, but never seen anybody lick the paint of. Kind of ruins the design.
Now, I go stand in the corner for a while and think about my evil ways.
Oh, wait, no time for the corner. Have to cook dinner.
You know what, I'll cook something Lisa loves and I absolutely dislike: Cauliflower! Yikes, I'm way too severe for myself.




Now, what a coincidence.
That sweet, loveable etc girl, just looks like the mind image I had for you.
Stop laughing!
Sure you don't look like The Night? You don't bite (strangers)?
No? OK, then, really safe to do this?
Hugs for you to last you, the whole week
 



Goob post
Ahhhrgg, all those GOOB ladies make me feel ashamed of myself.
Barney should do something about it.


Barney surely can think of something.
At this very moment I'm lying in my bath, with a lot more than 8 glasses of water.
Does that count?
 
Oh no, a real Titanium Butt?
Poor Barney, he will have to Get of his Butt and Exercise his arms.




But I have read something and now I am stupefied.
You tell that you are not really Wilma Rubble? Huh? But then, I don't understand, how come you married Barney Rubble?



Wilma, you have a habit of making things complicated. Ever noticed? Sometimes you think you are married to Fred Flintstone, then Barney Rubble followed by The Riddler and now Mr Magoo.





That Anxiety girl is a wimp. One spanking and she is gone. Just wait till her older sister comes along!


I have been reading this and the former post up and down, down and up and even sideways, but alas no wise advice comes to my mind.
So, the only thing I can say is:
Start looking for your bloody mind, you seem to have mislaid it!
Hugs for you and my admiration for Barney


OK, I googled 'images Barney spanks Wilma' and our entire community shows up. Even my MIL !
We can safely conclude that you corrupted The Flintstones forever.
The Flintstones will disappear behind parental controls




What? Lucy and Wilma are talking 'off blog'?
You both should be spanked for that. Synchronized!
  
the above comment from Lucy's Blog started this exchange..

Wilma, this was an exceptionally difficult Post to read.
Somehow, I kept finding myself on other blogs, adding to blogrols etc.
Thanks for all the good news.
Oh, and I have not put a comment on Elisa's blog about you. No, that was not me. I think I've been hacked.
 

I'm on to you 'old' man! He who can put together a PC with parts--hacked! Pah..I've been following your little journey through blog land today. Watching you gleefully skip along, trying to get Barney to light fire to my back end! Oh yes, I was over at Lucy's and I saw what you put on Elisa's blog too.



  AND then there are times when his HoHy ness comes through LOUD and clear..
I'll help you: You're married to the guy with the belt! Simple as that!
Love ya, too.
Bas

Yes working out could provide Barney with be a long term solution for complicated girls.


 
And my personal favourite...

You feeling safe with that little Ocean in between?

Yes there is an ocean between us Bas. There are also light years between myself and Lisa as far as ttwd wives go to




but your advice and comments are the highlight of my blog posts.



Lisa is one very lucky lady. I'll leave with one more comment that Bas left on my silly SuperHeroes Super Villian Post, where readers were to choose which villian their husbands were...but Bas said this

 
Of course as a HoH I cannot indulge in these frolics.

So naturally I ran with it, and chose for him..his response?

Gargamel? And I always thought I was the Great Smurf.
Oh well, doesn't matter, as long as I get the fairest woman of them all.

I so enjoy all your silliness...your support and the fact that you share your great love story with all of us!

 




 

Monday, February 18, 2013

GRAND OPENING BLOG LAND CANDY STORE! updated

This is a really long post..you have been warned. If you emailed me and I didn't include you PLEASE let me know.  I appologize in advance if someone was left out.  This post took me FOREVER..seriously..it is too embarrassing to say how long this took.
~*~*~*~*~*


You are cordially invited to opening of  the first ever BlogLand Candy Store.  The first official store on the Blog Land Main Street.  What can I say  ?  us women have our store priorities set.  Groceries?  Pffft.  I see a Liquor Store,  'Toy' Store ( although I am NOT going to ask you what kind of toy you would be....blech) , Flower Shop, perhaps a Shoe store, although personally I detest footwear, a Bakery, and of course a Book Store.  The Implement Store will be located in the seedy part of town, where the appliance part stores are located...only HoHs go there!  Well except Ty and Blondie's Paddle  store ( click for Blondie's real store). It can be on main street as long as they don't hang paddles in the windows- but I'm only buying one for a cheese board or even better a wine paddle



So without further ado, our inventory:

I mentioned a few candies that lined our shelves in my last post.  After a small focus group ( of one ) was conducted, some of the candies have been altered.  Sorry for the disappointment if your favourite seems to be one of them.  It is a difficult, cut throat business, this candy stuff.



From the House of Rubble, ( hahaha..that is kind of funny, yet NOT)  My candy remains the same.
Blah, blah, blah....
Distracting shiny packaging, hard outer shell that can be melted if taken in hand for any LENGTH of time...Faster way to the gooey center...a bite! * wink *

Initially I thought we would line the shelves under House of Rubble Candy with 
Stale gum, bad puns.  Only after a focus study...two chocolates came to mind.  Apparently it is okay to go with this one for Barney

However, the focus group soon grew to two, and when ONE of the members , gleefully suggested this as a candy/chocolate to represent the CEO of The House of Rubble Candy


The second ( grumpy ) focus group member suggested this


and NOT for this either


 That is the Completes the ( touchy) House of Rubble Candy shelf...



If you follow me this way to the Her Mischief Managed House of  Chocolate  Display.....



Dear Sweet Susie as you may recall is a delicious Toblerone Bar. Truthfully, Susie could have been a 'plain' chocolate bar, provided of course that it contained nuts...but that just didn't seem good enough for the  Her Mischief Manage Chocolates. To me, and many of you out there Susie is this....


UNFORTUNATELY sometimes to MM she is this kind of Toblerone....


But the being the skilled chocolatier that MM is, he is able to 


Now for Mr. MM.  CEO of Her Mischief Managed Chocolates

Again you'd figure the obvious choice would be...
( once again take note of the flavour)

THIS focus group member suggested 


The CEO of Her Mischief Managed  House of Chocolate, was approached with this idea, and apparently did not like the idea of branching out beyond chocolates - his response was similar to this



Now, I don't want to start rumours- the CEO did not threaten the focus group member directly...just that he thought should he send some equipment to the CEO of House of  Rubble Candy.
ANYWHO, shot down again, the ( naughty ) chocolate bar remains ...for MM 



On to the Candy House of My Love's a Beautiful Lady....as you recall


Pocahontas



Rock Candy


You see my dear friend Pocahontas thinks she's hard, and prickly ( okay that is not the word she uses, but I don't have a potty mouth * wink *). In truth she is really, really sweet! Okay, and sometimes she scratches...just like the rock candy...( what ? I read that somewhere ) In a candy store I am always drawn to the rock candy suckers. They are so beautiful, even if they appear a tad scary. They are certainly worth it!


and for her HoH and CEO of The Candy House of My Love's a Beautiful Lady- John




Pop Rocks. Yup. At first glance, the candy may be a little intimidating. Yet they are really sweet, exciting, and have a bit of an edge. And c'mon who doesn't like a candy that explodes in your mouth ?




Huh? Apparently in the words of John Smith ~ " She is not right" 




I tell ya these HoH/CEOs are tempermental at best! Oh well, chalk one up to me, as I wasn't threatened this time with ...well ya know...


If you follow me this way now, to the rather LARGE display from the Candy House of Mr. Mammoth Hands McSpanky Pants & Lillie  Ian and Lillie.  This Candy House, in my humble opinion,( yes I can be humble, if it is fashionable, like now) has the perfect candy representation..


For Lillie



I realize that these are Canadian- just like Lillie, so I will explain. They are sort of like M & Ms but WAY better. They have a hard candy shell, but not as thick as M&Ms. And unlike M&Ms that 'melt in your mouth not in your hands', Lillie melts in Ian's hands...er , or, because of Ian's hands ?


I chose Smarties for Lillie because not only is she a smartie pants, but she has many flavours in her. All of which we love ! ( well in a real box of Smarties I don't like the red ones- lets refer to them as the Work Lillie at Home Smarties) 


AND now onto Mr. Mammoth Hands McSpanky Pants. Google didn't come up with any confections with a tag line anything close! Fortunately I already had something in mind


( again not sure if these are found outside of Canada)



One would assume that if you have mammoth hands you'd have mammoth...


FEET! FEET people...sheesh!


Anyway Lillie went on and on once in great length..about his FEET! ( honestly )


Not why I chose Big Foot for Ian though.


Big Food are cinnamon flavour ( btw I'm allergic, but also not why I chose them * wink *)


Like Ian, at first glace, for those not 'in the know' they seem hard- but they aren't they are chewy and soft. They are soft and BRING THE HEAT !


Now, the Owner and CEO of  The Candy House of Ian & Lillie
was kind  enough to suggest The Rubble House of Candy Branch out too.  Here was the suggestion made by Mr. Mammoth Hands McSpanky Pants

Ian says you are a Tim Bit (for US readers it is the centre of a donut from Tim Horton's) apparently Susie agrees~First of all, you ARE a Timbit! It's perfect...and you know it.



Once again I am wondering if it is time for new friends. A Timbit? A ROUND ball of dough. THANK you sooooooooooooo much you two! Hrmph! If you will notice over by the cashier there is a box


I will play along with your little misguided game, however if I am a Timbit, I choose to be the powdered kind.  Not everyone's favourite.  My covering is powdering and sweet ( hush up!) the next layer is a little chewier.  The centre is soft and sweet-oh HOLD on I am the lemon one!  So you may not like the taste depending on what you had in your mouth earlier.  The best part?  I leave my powder all over your....






Yup...I'm the 'gift' that keeps on giving!



Here is what Lillie suggested

to me, cause I got to read a blog, you are a lifesaver. :)


So let me clarify...


A round ball...sheesh...Ian thinks I'm a donut hole and Lillie thinks I'm a candy with a HOLE in the middle...You two really need to get your act together!

Then they thought they'd get a little funny..

.We think Barney is an energy bar - he has to be to keep up with his wife :)
Cute...two can play at that game:  Barney's Energy Bar

and

IAN'S Energy bar!

Alright, now that half of our store is FULL !  Moving on.....

From the Firehouse Candy Factory


elle :)


Fireman says he'd be a Hershey bar. 

Because chocolate is like crack to me, lol. (It seriously is. I'm like a child, lol) 





And I think skittles for me. I'm fun and colorful, and his favorite :)





I'm thinking the Firehouse Candy Factory Shelf may have to be in the dark back corner of the store!



Now if you are done fanning yourself, we will make out way out of the back of the store to the New Bea Candy House Shelf

New Bea
I would like chocolate covered Cherries as I have surprising softness inside my hard shell 



In the spirit of total disclosure, the shop keeper would like you to see the interior of Bea's


and Levi can have Hot Tamales...cause he is hot!





To our European Section of the Store.  

From Jan's House of Impossible Finds 
an English Rose
Hi Wilma, I think I would be a little fat jelly baby (cos he loves them)






and hubby would be my hunky pineapple chunk.


Ah Jan.  This is an actual Candy store, not a 'front for drugs'.  OHhhhhhhhh you mean


From the  I Dreamed of DD, Spanking and Co....Candy

Oh not fair I still can't think of any chocolate that describes me :( or hubs :(
Ok the best one I can come up with for me is a Kinder surprise egg, you have to be careful with me and slowly unwrap the foil to get to the yummy chocolate, but once you bite in, you defiantly get a surprise lol


( guess she is going to be banned in the US too )



Hubs I would describe as a bag of pick and mix, you choose carefully what goes in, then you have to open the bag slowly to see what's inside, and once you look in you get all sorts of flavours.

( Ya have to open it slowly?  why? )


Oh my goodness...the horror!  Pick and Mix everywhere..Why oh why didn't you open the bag slowly?



Clean up in aisle 3



Please watch your step.  Okay on to a much calmer area of the store..

The Ward and June Chocolate Emporium Company.


Daddy is totally Milky Way Dark -a Milky Way dark...



because he is orgasmically delicious....


and I am a Cadbury Crunchy (only in Britain - sweet and smooth outside crunchy & nutty under the surface)

Well June you are in luck because we have them North of the Border too, and they just happen to be one of my favourites too.  

Apparently we took a U-turn to the back of the store again.



Our next candy shelf is brought to you by  Ty Up Blondie Candies


I can do this, I can do this....... Okay, Ty is a Snickers bar. Because he is always snickering at me, it has peanuts and is covered in my favorite flavor, chocolate. 


And for me, Pixie Stix. Good one, since he likes to call me Stinkerbell.

And I am as sweet as sugar. (no snickering here). This was fun.


Interesting....here is what this shop keeper proposed.  Fun Dip



A little Pixie dust..and a paddle 


If you will make your way a bit to the right...Catrinka's Candy Corp.


Catrinka

Had to think about this for a minute. Got Alec's right away as it's one of his favorite's anyway.
Alec is an Atomic Fireball. 




He's hot as hell with undertones of spicy and sweet. Pop one in your mouth and it's a slow burn. Yep, think he's left me with that feeling in a multitude of ways. ;)




I am M&Ms. I am pretty traditional but can be colorful too. I have a firm outer shell but my insides are soft and melty.

Right this way to the Southern Hemisphere Section

Callie's Confectionery 



Violet crumbles....... Yum......... (They're chocolate covered honeycomb) sweet on the outside and sweeter on the inside.


( looks a lot like the Cadbury Crunchie Bar available in Canada- we say sponge toffee in the middle though, not honeycomb)


H will have anything filled with caramel. Hard on the outside, soft and gooey in the middle. Lol




***


Oh Look here...I love this candy company!! Not only do they have candy but licensed material at our store

Rick and Roz's  Retro & Candies











Rick - Peanut Slab - It's his favourite. Solid, reliable delectable chocolate bar, and a little nutty. I also think it's a rather 'manly' chocolate bar and comes across as 'bossy' to me LoL





Roz - Pinky Bar - It just has to be chocolate! But the chocolate is soft and inside gooey, "squiffy" marshmallow - because I love that "squiffy" feeling.






Curious to know what you would pick for us though.

For Rick I would pick-

 And for you...Tic tac Orange flavour
They are tiny, but provide a lot of flavour with just one.  They have to orange because they are my favourite!









     Our last selection from the Southern Hemisphere comes from Heavenly Hez's Silence Sweets Factory



The Silence
Dark and secretive, with a hint of hotness under that creamy, melty texture. Can be 'hot' when needed and like the chilli can warm up a butt in an instant.....




I would be...a Whittakers Peanut Slab, all pure, no additives..good and honest..and kiwi made!
( interesting that your HoH picked a chocolate bar that Roz picked FOR her HoH...)



Over this way to Cat's Confessions Confections 


.

..my favorite candy is Dark Chocolate Pomegranate and Matthew always said it suited me perfectly. Here is a review of the candy that I found... 
Bite into the candy and the first thing that strikes you is the delicious dark chocolate. Next your taste buds are shocked by the slightly tart and tangy center. But the two flavors balance each other nicely. The unique sweet and tart flavor combination is a strangely appealing but dangerous combination of flavors.

Tart, sweet, strangely appealing but dangerous? Whatever...

( oops ...oh hey I didn't notice the thong ^ until now lol)


( btw.  I went to Walmart this week to buy these and walked out with $200 less in my pocket....they are expensive- good thing I don't have an HoH who has me on a budget!) 


From the Minelle Manufactures 



I am laughing so hard....I guess my Scotsman loves Mars Bars, Smarties, Treats....Yorkies. We were thinking that he is hard on the outside and soft on the inside! Me well I like peppermint patties and peanut m&ms...what does that mean?

It means I'm not going to listen to you!  How does that make you feel? RULE breaker?

Alrighty-  obvious, but it actually does fit in with your " hard on the outside, soft on the inside" For your hubby


and for YOU MISSY....


It is a hard ( but not really) candy that is VERY difficult to get out of its package.  Once you suck on the sweet candy for a minute or two, it breaks open and inside is a fizzy powder that is primarily sweet, but every once and a while it has a tart baking soda flavour that comes through the sweet fizz .


On this shelf we have Ana's Addiction ! Candy Corp.



Hm, this is a tough one. One of my favorite kinds of candy is Reese's peanut butter cups with dark chocolate. I like the opposing tastes of sweet and salty, I like peanut butter, and I like the added depth of the dark chocolate taste. I'm not a fan of milk chocolate. Too sweet. I like the dark chocolate Reese's cups because they're not as common. They're distinct with a flavor of their own.



If you cast you eyes down ( Emi stocked the shelf herself) no a little further down, you will see the offerings from Veiled Obsessions

Emi Jones


I am of course, an Everlasting Gobstopper... It's about 100 layers to get through to me, and then the center is STILL sour when you finally get to it.
HA





"H" of course is a Mr. Goodbar because He is so darn good, and a generally "nice guy".
He's also a bit nuts... Heh.

Moving a bit to the left, you will see the offerings from the TenderLoving Bucko  Candy Factory

I worked in a candy store in college so this required a lot of thought. I would be caramel. It's not not flashy. It's in a plain wrapper. It's a simple girl next door kind of candy. It's difficult to melt. You have to stir it constantly and if you aren't careful you can burn it and make an awful mess.



Oh look was happens when you bring Bucko and a wooden spoon into the candy store!




Bucko would be a classic chocolate bar I think. Not too fancy, but still sweet and sometimes just what the doctor ordered. It's reliable. 

You can always count on it to be good by itself or together with something else.


all together now...awwwwwww..

Look at a TL wrapped in a Bucko


And now to  A  Different Chocolate Company

Something chocolate... Alex is a Kit Kat bar... All those little layers. 







( I chose a Kit Kat Chunky- nothing about Alex, as I have no idea about his size- just that the other KitKats say give me a break...not sure how often that happens at your house * wink * )


I am a Lindt Truffle. Delicious with a soft center.
( I bet !)


This way to Candy to Love By



Jake would be chocolate covered espresso beans...sweet and strong, straightforward and bold, makes me feel alive in the morning...and sometimes keeps me up all night;)





Oh ?  Not what you were thinking Zoe?

Something more sensual is what you had in mind?


I would be a dark chocolate cherry cordial. Sounds kind of classic and retro, I think. Cherries are sunny, but the dark chocolate gives it a little bit of edge.


( woah...that is one sensual chocolate!)

(picturing myself as a saucy vintage pin-up girl named Cherry, tattooed on Jake's bicep) Plus, cherry cordials are one of the few sweets my man likes to eat:)


Katie and Rob's Unusal Candy Corp.

I'd have to say Bit o Honey for Rob! He can appear a little hard if you don't know him, but he is really this big, sweet, gooey, honey of a guy. I call him "Honey" too. Too bad they don't shape this candy in the shape of a hand because he has discovered the joy of swatting and he does it often on my butt- even once in front of the cheese rounder in the grocery store!!!! Oh and the candy description says there are almond bits in there too somewhere. He can be a little nuts at times! We do laugh a lot!



For me- I'm tempted to say Spree candies because I've been known to go on a shopping spree or two (ouch)! I do LOVE those candies!!! They are a little sour but mostly sweet.

( I love these too, I just never knew what they were called~ as for the spree/spending thing, see how much Cat's Pomegranate Chocolates cost me at Walmart)

I'm kind of thinking Cadbury Mini Egg (yuuuuum!!!) describes me best as it has a thin, sweet little shell that is easy to crunch, and then good old melty chocolate! Also Rob is a foot taller than me so I may seem "mini" compared to him


Welcome to My Love of Life Candy
This is great but we really had to think here. Okay, so my Hubby is going to be a Nerd. Because, well he is a Nerd and I love him for it and he also really likes Nerd candy. He's a really cool and sweet Nerd though ;)
( I would just like to take this moment to point out to another HOH out there...how Tricia's HOH actually chose Nerds...Someone comfortable in their Nerdom.... Okay going back to checking the mail for wooden paddles again)
For me, I'm going to say Peach rings. Because they are yummy and sweet and just a little tart. And, I am such a Peach!

Oh, here we are at A Unique Candy and Ice Cream Company's area of the store

Ok Willie, the last time I tried to get out of it by not commenting, but I should have known better.
( Well I for one am glad you learned your lesson !)
I am definitely a Mars Bar. I've always wanted to go into space.


Lisa, I think, is best described as an ice cream cone. From a distance she looks cold, but just wait until you really get close to her. Then you get heaven on earth.
( btw~ I purposely left the Masterfile watermark there for you * wink *)
Besides she always eats ice cream, even in deep winter. Gives her very cold feet! I need the energy of several Mars Bars to warm them again.




How about that? This shelf has candy, but I'm not sure where it is manufactured ( wink )



Thanks for the invite to play along, what a treat. "Anonymouse", wow that sounds so cheesy, I may have to change that soon :-)

For my bride, Nina, twas easy, I thought of her in an instant. She would be a Payday. Sweet as everything, but also the salt of the earth, with a bit of nutty on occasion! 

For me I had trouble deciding. Thought all night and then finally came up with a Mars bar for two reasons. I love chocolate and second, strangely as it may be, I would love to travel in outer space. If offered I would take the next seat to Mars in a nanosecond! 

George



( What is it with these 'spacey' HoHs ?)


Off to the Cooky Candy Shelf

Ok Willie I have thought long and hard on this (who am I kidding) this just came to me. I am a Whatyamacallit candy bar cuz you never know what you will get at any given moment and I have so many layers 





and Vic well he is a Blowpop sucker and I will leave that to everyones imagination



A warm welcome to Snuggie Candies ( and if you are really welcomed here ...you get teased!)

So first let me hand out these...


and onto your candy choices

I showed this to hubby, to ask what candy he would say I am.
For him I chose "fairytale milk chocolate" 
It's a tiny milk chocolate bar and on the inside of the wrapping there is a fairy tale and the slogan is "a little piece of fairy tale". Reasons for that is that he is very sweet and kind and I've felt that ever since I met him my life been somewhat a fairytale <3


( I have never heard of these before actually)

He chose love hearts for me, to quote him: "because I heart you and you are cute and are my sweetheart


.Off to the Not so Sweet  Candy Manufactures.
( the antidote for Snugglie's Candy perhaps?  wink)
I am definitely a sour patch kid. I mean heck, their TAGLINE is even "sour then sweet!" or is it sweet than sour?? Either way, I am VERY much that way. I will smack My Man and then try to tenderly snuggle and kiss him and look so concerned and worried for him when he looks sad or hurt by it. ;-)



My Man is harder... hmmm... A shock tart maybe?? He looks/seems like he is going to be so sweet and yummy and than ZING!



Our next candy display is a revolving one found behind the check out

Oh...I have no idea...can't even begin to imagine what kind of candy I would be or my husband for that matter...I know the candy I like to eat - peppermint patties or anything peppermint really, and I love real maple syrup candies (I have a major sweet tooth) and my husband likes dark chocolate and the fruit slice candies...does that say anything about us - I don't know, probably not...so back to what I originally said...I have no idea :-)


So here is whatcha get Terps

for you ( because I'm all about the Maple here..wonder why?)
And for your hubby...a bit of both


Here we have Starsong Candy Corp.

I am more 'Turkish Delight' - full of Eastern Promise!





 And Starman, well he would have to be Starbursts. Although they used to call them Opal Fruits. 

Up By the door you will find Blue Bird Classic Candy Company's choices

 Blue Bird


I am tootsie roll pops - I have a hard exterior, it is really hard to gain my full trust, but once you do I have a chocolatety chewy center.





He is Hot tamales 5 Alarm - He appears soft and chewy but the more you get to know him the more he makes you wake up and take notice




                and if you aren't paying attention you can be overwhelmed with the burn.






                      Down this aisle you will find the very Secret Sweet Company's Shelf

Brice can be a ZotZ they are sweet until you bite into them then you get a powerful sour explosion. Al is sweet unless you 'poke the bear' then he is a powerful sour explosion. lol I think it is too hard to remove the sexual connotations from that one. I give up. :)
 




Oh and looksee here, Betsy didn't pick one for herself !



I should pick
Because she drove me CRAZY with her multitude of candy choices..but I KNOW some of that was Brice's fault...so I'll pick something more suited to her likes ( NOT her personality)

( btw Rogue ~ this candy instantly came to mind for you when I started this post..)

Here is one of our more popular candy company's  Lunacy Licks 
( did you HONESTLY think Lucy wouldn't be in this post?)


UPDATED NEW CANDY Company Added!!! Ogrely Stromy Candies!


My favorite candy is Reisens. I say it's a "reisen for road trips" because I love to take them on the road with me! They are wonderful and take a long time to chew, so they require patience...like me! 

My husband loves Resees, which makes sense. He's tough around the edges and soft and sweet in the middle. I like them too, so sometimes since I love them frozen, I'll hide some in a bag of frozen veggies so he can't find them. I keep empty veggie bags for just this purpose! Now you know all my candy secrets lol. 

I suppose this one would not have done Ogre's body justice?


They are hammer head sharks....you know for my Mr. Fix it blog I wrote about him
Uh huh..because he's Mister Fix it...not because he's a hard headed....

OKAY. okay Mr. Fix it!  Don't get your tool belt in a bunch! ( I was going to say softy too...but not now!)

For me.....


You know b/c I CAN be sweet....or not ;)




AND LAST...


BUT 


CERTAINLY NOT 


LEAST!


Emma and Fake Steve!!

Please use my comment section to talk my silly friend into coming back to the world of Blogging!










Phew...if you made it this far, you deserve




And............. we're done.  If you don't hear from me for a few days it is most likely because I am in a diabetic comma somewhere!