Sunday, June 2, 2013

Attracting More Flies With Honey!

I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment on my last post.  Well comment, email, phoned, texted, offered their phone numbers, face booked.... Some comments were almost as long as the post !  I am serious though, it meant so much.  I know everyone is busy this time of year.  I can tell by the considerable 'inaction' in blogland.  I honestly didn't think I would generate so much support and understanding from you all.  I know, I know, why am I surprised? 

 
I shall answer the comments on my last post soon, I promise!


When I said I felt like a fraud, I by no means meant that I thought you would consider me one.  I know the people here are first and foremost kind and understanding.  It was just how I have been feeling for a while now.

 You know the entire blogging process is quite something.  When I first started blogging I needed to write almost every day.  I had to sort things out in my mind.  Posts would literally rattle around in there until they showed up here.  ( Lucky you guys ) .  As time went on, I started to share my struggles even when I didn't feel like writing because it was suggested that others may take comfort in knowing they are not alone.   I then went through a phase where I was hurt, and I didn't want to share with anyone, and that unfortunately trickled into my marriage,( I don't recommend this line of action).  There was also the fear of writing about the same thing over and over again. 

The one thing I have learned is the landscape of Blogland certainly changes over the span of half a year.  People who were here back in October may be gone, ( Emma, Cowgirl, Nikki...and well now Pocahontas, I miss your comments in Blogland) and other bloggers come and go from commenting on your blog.  But what hasn't changed is the wonderful support that is offered when people are in a tough spot.  Amazing.  Truly amazing.

Okay now

The day that I sat down to write my last post, the words just came flying out.  As did the tears.  I sat there with a box of Kleenex, ( tissues ) and discarded ones balled up beside me on the couch.  The only thing that was missing was a tub of ice cream or a package of cookie dough, and I could have been in a cheesy B rated Romantic Comedy.  Barney came down into the living room where I was sitting and asked me if I was sick, ( the tears had stopped but the tissues remained).  When I had replied no he said

" Tomorrow afternoon when I get back from the vet, ( no cracks on Canadian Health Care, we have a dog) you and I are going to reconnect".  I said okay and that was about it. 

The next day Barney blistered my butt.  LITERALLY blistered...sigh and OUCH.  We have yet another new wooden implement that is very ouchy!  He told me how 'good' I was over the weekend cottage trip with our friends, and that was that.  He hadn't read my post, but later we were talking,( as predicted) once again about bringing ttwd into the forefront.  When I was OTK, he mentioned something about being back there on Tuesday on his day off.  This angered me.  It angered me because, well it was a week away, and he knows I don't do well with that, but more then that it angered me because it appeared we were getting back into the 'every 8 days' routine.  So I told him.    He explained how he said that because he wants me to know that he hasn't forgotten and we WILL be doing r/a then for sure.  He didn't mean that if necessary it wouldn't happen earlier.

 I later gave him examples of things others do as submission exercises.  NOT that he should do them, but to give him ideas.  I ran the entire gamete of things others do from D/s to almost BDSM...

Before he left for work that day he asked if we could have a Cook Together Night the Saturday night. 

(This picture with the moose was chosen for my favourite Mountain HOH.  wink)
 

This made me extremely sad, for lack of a better work.  You see I introduced Cook Together Night before ttwd in order to connect.  We did it at least twice a month for months on end.  We had stopped some time ago and you know what?  I hadn't even noticed.  That is what made me so sad.  Something we both enjoyed doing, we stopped and I hadn't even noticed.   I started to think about all of this, and what it really meant.  I started to think about other things I had stopped doing, ( and yes this does sound a lot like Blue Bird's post....we both came to the same realization last week and even discussed it...the stinker beat me to the post on the post about it though..lol).

Often I say to Barney that," I just want to 'make the list'."



 Meaning, I just want him to think about me, ( I know he does, but show it) during the day. Only lately I haven't been showing him.  Sure I have been deferring and all that jazz, ( I know you can practically SEE the submission dripping off of me) but I haven't been 'building him up' in other ways.  Well THAT was going to change.   I said to Blue Bird that I was going to go back and read my older posts too, (that is what she was doing).   It turns out I didn't need to.  I started to remember what I used to do.  Little things, but very important it would appear.

I was talking to another friend who felt like she was in the same boat as I was.  When I mentioned Barney asking about Cook Together Night, she said that was nice but too bad he asked and didn't tell me.  The thing is, that isn't Barney's style.  His way of telling me something is to put into a question.  At least it is for now.  Also when it is 'suggested' I do specific 'chores' usually I give him a verbal list of things I hope to accomplish and he says to do 'this' one.  Some days, it isn't THAT one I think is important enough to start with, but I comply.  These things are to keep us in our roles at our house.  Does that make him less HoHy?  Only if I perceive it that way.   I prefer to think that makes him my HoH and this is his style.  Personally I believe that  if I chose to be upset with his delivery, we would never get this thing off of the ground.  He is not going to bark orders at me. That is not his style.  He has several employees under him and well he is a firm believer in,

 
 
*** 

When I said last week I was comparing myself to other bloggers, I should have clarified better.  I don't read on a daily basis and think , I wish we were there.  That ship has sailed LONG ago.  What I meant was, when I am feeling like we are not in a good place as far as ttwd goes, the comparison, timeline thing is the cherry on top of my anxiety sundae.  It generally isn't in my day to day thoughts by any means.

Right, okay so this has a strawberry on top, but I don't care for cherries and this is my ttwd sundae!
 
 
 
I think that for those of us who don't have a husband that screams out dominance, or those of us who have husbands who have been conditioned to 'behave' a certain way, we must really choose our words and actions carefully.  I will just talk about my observations in my relationship as I sort of detest people telling me WHAT is right and wrong as this is ttwd...
 
  I think of building a fire,( um no bum/spanking references please).  You strike a match and add it to a little bit of paper and small twigs.  You blow on it perhaps, to allow it to grow. 
 
 
 
 This is what, ( I think) doing these little things for our husbands do.  Little less obvious signs of Submission.  At the start Barney wouldn't 'tell' me to do a specific thing on a specific day.  I started with,
 
" Is there anything specific you would like to see get done around here today? "
 
Initially his answer was " No I can't think of anything"
 
So I would say something like,  " Well I was thinking of X, Y or Z.  Do you have any preference as to what gets finished today?" 
 
Eventually, over time  he would say " Z"  instead of "No" and I would make darn sure I did it.  Not because  he was going to punish me, just because I wanted him to see that if he said something I would do it. As time went on, a long time, he started to say,
 
" What do you have planned for today?" 
 
 I would say," X, Y, Z" and he would say,
 
 " Oh okay well can you make sure Z gets done"....(stupid Z).  Now sometimes he comes up with,
 
 " Well I'd like you to do Q today instead"  or more recently he hasn't asked me what my plans are he has said,
 
" Can you make sure to do V today before I get home?"
 
Yes he is 'asking' not telling if you want to get technical, but he is telling in his way.  Do I think I will be punished if I don't?  Not in the physical sense. What I will do is potentially damage the progress we have made if I don't breath air onto our little fire. 
 
 At the start of ttwd, and for what seemed like forever after, I was upset because I would see a little fire going and then want him to throw a log on it!  Lets get this heat going to warm up every aspect of our lives.  Only I realized that doesn't work.  It puts the fire completely out.  Now we build it slowly adding more twigs and breathing on it. 
 
At times we forget to add the twigs and the fire dwindles, but you know what?  underneath, the coals are still there. 
 
 We both just have to blow on them and start putting the smaller twigs back on the fire.
 
 


(Boy wouldn't it be great to have a can of lighter fluid and pour it on and 'get this party started?'. Lots of heat right away, but potential explosions, singed eyebrows, and blech the smell!)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Most recently this is what has happened to us....I felt a disconnect between us and I thought the fire was out, it wasn't.  Sure I wasn't feeling the warmth of ttwd, but the coals were still there.  We just needed to tend to them again.  We were both frozen and we each were hoping the other would thaw us out. 
 
Turns out someone has to be the one to blow first and put a twig, or ten down to get the fire going again.  The great thing about having the coals is each time the fire dwindles down, if we are willing to put twigs back on, it takes less and less time for the fire to build again! Our bed of coals is becoming larger after each stumble.
 
We are working our way back to the warmth.  I mean with the feelings that arise when practicing ttwd, not so much the physical. 
 
However THAT was brought up for the first time last night too.  Sheesh.  I almost got spanked for coming to bed later then he asked.  Well um, that is new.  Before you think I was testing or bratting, he had said, " How about you come upstairs in 10 minutes ?"
 
I was chatting with a friend.  I agreed. Unfortunately another friend chimed in as I was shutting off the computer, I explained that I was just leaving. By the time I slipped into bed it was 16 minutes. ( apparently) since he asked me to come upstairs.  Since I was only 2 minutes late coming upstairs and that is what he really 'asked' for I wasn't going to get spanked....
 
In my mind this was going on....
 
Um say what?  Did you just basically say you had planned on spanking me if I was 'late'?  Seriously.??? I mean sure other people have bedtimes, or are sent to bed, but this was kind of new.....and like right to the spanking thing?  I did say some of this to him.  Mostly,
 
"Seriously?  You are serious about this?"
 
 Anyway he assured me through my giggles and his chuckles that he was serious and that he  already had the silent implement beside him should I have taken much longer......Okay then!  Fire is apparently shooting off sparks. Or he's found a flamethrower for the time being!
 
 
When I asked him this morning why he was so HoHy last night, he just shrugged his shoulders, smiled and said,
 
" Just trying"
 
I really does work both ways :)
 
Cautiously optimistic is my motto again!


55 comments:

  1. This post was so good! And I needed to go fast since MIL was about to read over my shoulder....LOL.
    It is true that sometimes we both (hubby and I) need to stop and dissect what we are doing that may have changed things. Sometimes I am so focused on what isn't happening that I skim over what is happening. This may apply to things DD/TTWD or vanilla real life.
    Sorry I am o behind in posts...
    Happy to hear these thoughts.

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    1. Hey! I'm so honoured you stopped by, I know how crazy your life has been lately!!
      Happy you enjoyed the post :)

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  2. CRYING over this post. Love it. It gives me hope and I thank you for that. All the best.

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    1. Oh Brooke I have been where you have, and will, in all likelihood be again. Since you wrote this comment I have read good things on your blog. So I guess the hope is becoming a reality!

      Keep your positive attitude. That is the best advice I can give, because once you start to spiral, it is so difficult to stop. You are half of the equation to making this thing we do work :)

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  3. hi willie,
    i know i'm fairly new at this...but what i have learned is that Dd is an ideal, a gift we give to ourselves and because it is both generic and unique we come to it from a much broader sense ie blogs, the internet, then narrow it down and shape it to fit our own lives.
    because this is an intense, raw, bare your soul type of dynamic we cant but help feel self doubt and vulnerable. it's almost like Dd is the 3rd person in our relationship it is a living and breathing life force, which needs love, care and trust to keep it going strong.
    i understand how hard it is to not compare yourself to others because
    i have certainly spent hours reading and wishing i could have the lives of pretty much all of the women in blogland: lillie and ian's sweet and profound love for each other, mick and lynda and christina and jim's male initiated and deep emotional commitment to Dd, susie, tess and june's optimism and joy from what their dynamic brings and clint and chelsea's knowledge and sacrifice to practice this lifestyle. but lets face it on a good day i find myself waiting for this to all blow up in my face. for us who brought this dynamic to our husbands we have probably spend years wanting and craving "this" without even knowing what "this" is. the reality is that it connects with and touches something in us in a way that nothing has ever done or felt like before. we are all different and unique but there is this bond, this common thread that unites us all. i think many relationships(outside of Dd) could not survive this type of intensity, it is definitely not a lifestyle for the faint of heart! but we couples who practice Dd in order for us to believe in ttwd must have a sense of hope and faith that when Dd works it really works and we can see the benefits in a thousand obvious and not so obvious ways. sometimes 1 step forward and 3 steps back is just a way to prompt us to understand that life and this lifestyle is a work in progress with an enormous learning curve, that all of us can relate to!

    best, lexi

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    1. I'm glad to hear that things are progressing for you lexi! It is a 3 steps forward 1 step back process most of the time. Sometimes it is at a stand still, but all is not lost. It is difficult to see at times, but headway that has been made, rarely is lost completely.

      Nice to 'see' you again
      willie

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    2. Lexi, this was a great comment and very true! When are you starting your blog?

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    3. thanks willie, i know that "stand still" well, and its true that any progress is rarely lost, but it's really hard to see T struggle and get frustrated because of my (sometimes desperate) desire to make this work. i just kept chanting baby steps, baby steps :)

      best, lexi

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    4. thanks betsy,
      but i think i'm more of a reader and just trying to learn at this point...i tend to over analyze everything but what i have come to realize about myself is that with this dynamic i feel like i have been unknowingly waiting for this my whole life and it's like coming home for the first time!

      best, lexi

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  4. Love, love, LOVE this post. Good on you Barney!

    I'm thrilled to "hear" the hope in this post. It seems like the caveman is coming into his own. Those random say what? moments of HOH-y-ness are sometimes the best surprises. You better watch your bum missy! Keep stoking the fire. I'm so glad to see you in a good place.

    Love and hugs,
    TL

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    1. Urgh...I was on the receiving end of playful, 'behave yourself today' swats the other morning. BTW not nearly as cute as it sounds. More awkard and what the heck are you doing..? OH! kind of thing!

      We are in a good spot. It feels like we are in a standard car with a new driver. We jolt forward, then abruptly stop. My neck should be in a brace! lol

      love and hugs back at ya lady!
      willie

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  5. I too LOVE this post. It speaks volumes from where you were not long ago. He is trying so hard, Willie :) I am glad you are trying very hard too and aren't giving in to those negative feelings that were creeping in. How wonderful that you were able to find your way back. I am also glad that you felt all the love from everyone :)

    -Marie

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    1. I did and do feel the love from everyone Marie !

      Ah yes, the negative feelings that come creeping in. The solution is the evil C word. Communication. If I had shared some of my insecurities with Barney earlier my anxiety most likely would not have snowballed to the level it had. I still would have had it, communication isn't a fix all, but it might have been more 'controlled'

      Thank you so much for your kind words, both here and on your blog. You really are a sweetheart.

      willie

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  6. I'm smiling BIG! :D I'm so happy for you! And Yay for Barney! You're enjoying that he has his own style of HOH hat.

    Boy! I would have loooooved to see the look on your face in your "um, say what?" moment, lol!

    Big hugs! Cali

    Oh, and I chuckled when I saw the strawberry instead of a cherry on the top of your anxiety sundae - it looks too yummy to be bad ;)

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    1. Ironically the anxiety sundae looks very tempting when you are in a bad place!

      Oh I didn't type in HALF of the " are you serious?....like seriously serious? " that I actually said that night Cali! In fact just last night again I asked him LOL. " So, were you really going to spank me? Seriously? Where was the implement? What was it? .....Really? " LOL.

      huggin' ya back!
      willie

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  7. How unfortunate that friend chimed in! You really should tell your friends not to chime in so late. ;) lol

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    1. Yeah she's CONSTANTLY interrupting. She gets a 'pass' this time because one time she phoned right before I was about to be spanked....thus giving me more time! *wink*

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  8. Hi there Willie, :)

    I've always thought that your "Cook Together Night" was very sweet! Rob and I have learned to steer clear of each other in our kitchen! Lol!

    Cute about the bedtime exchange. You've joined the club. That is the one thing that I know Rob will have me do every day- go to bed when he tells me to! Even in front of the kids who go to bed whenever they want. I've heard, "Mom! You can stay up. Dad does not have to make you go to bed"! And I tell them that Dad loves me and cares about me and knows what I need, so I do it because I love him. It is funny when the kids notice.

    All we can do is try our best, right? Hugs to you Willie!

    <3 Katie

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    1. Well no DOUBT you steer clear of Rob in the kitchen! The man has been known to use a crepe pan as a 'make shift' paddle!! I'd give up cooking for LIFE if I were you!

      Oh simmer down now. I don't have a bedtime and he hasn't said it since. He wasn't interested in me getting a good nights rest that night I can assure you!
      willie

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  9. Morning Willie,

    I'm smiling reading this. I'm so glad to hear the two of you are in a much better place now and are stoking the fire. Good on Barney. He is wearing his HoH hat his way.

    You make some really good points here. Asking not telling is Barney's style but it doesn't mean he has any less expectation of you to comply than if he had told. It's quite often Rick's style too and if I try to push him or ask him it he really expects me to do xyz the answer is always "I think you know the answer to that".

    The 'little' things mean so much, like your cook together nights. I read Blue Birds post too and you are both right. We need to be consistent in our actions just as much as he does. Good on you re-initiating some of those things you started doing in the beginning. You got me thinking about this so thank you.

    I love what you said too about it taking less time for the fire to build again when it dwindles. LoL at your 'say what' moment. I can just imagine your face must have been a picture. These HoH's sure like to surprise us sometimes!

    Love and Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz.

      We are still plugging along. I am asking more and more about things he would prefer me to do. Months ago he would have looked at me like I had 2 heads, but now I can almost see him puff out a bit more :)

      Yes, his hat is his own to pick out. He certainly chose for many months to not wear one in my presence, but slowly he is putting it on...and taking it off...but I am not testing when it is on. I am complying even if I don't want to. I'm sure THAT won't last ! lol

      love, willie

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  10. I think I have a crush on your husband, Willie. :) He is using all he knows about his beautiful, feisty little wife and what feels right and natural to him as a man to bring this dynamic into your marriage.
    And, you know, Willie - on the surface of it, it sounds cute and flirty - but I think there is something much deeper and more profound, happening in your marriage.
    It is a beautiful thing, Sweetie and I am so happy for you both. :)

    hugs and love
    lillie

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    1. A crush on my husband? But yours has the 'best bum in the world', ( I would add a mustache that could rival Burt Reynolds in the 70s ) and such amazing feet! ( Okay well it has been established that Barney too has amazing feet- do you know the cocky guy said that if ever we all got together, in some alternate universe, and there was a lake or hot tub, that we would all have to wear water shoes to cover our feet in the presence of he and Ian? good grief! Still have a crush on him?)

      Well fortunately despite his conceit about feet, I still have a crush on him :)

      Profound? Oh dear, that doesn't sound like us at all! Yikes.

      much love
      willie

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  11. So happy to hear you sounding hopeful and happy again Willie! I have felt the same about DD/TTWD at times. I've even gone so far as to ask my hubby if we're still a DD couple! His response is usually to ask me what I've done and if I need a spanking, lol! Anyway, I think I know just what you mean about the coals. It seems that once you have lit the DD fire, it's always there. Sometimes, it flares up when you least expect or maybe even want it to. Funny thing, a bedtime was the very first rule my husband made. I think my husband is a lot like Barney. He doesn't like to *tell* me either.

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    1. Hi Queenie.

      Yes I am feeling happy and hopeful again. Stumbling in public isn't a great feeling, but the support we get from it is :)

      I don't actually have a bedtime rule, although I just woke up from a husband endorsed/enforced nap :) And as I said up there^ my good amount of sleep for that night wasn't really what he had in mind when he 'suggested' I make my way upstairs in 10 minutes! *wink*

      Barney is more like my mother in the sense that he is a rhetorical question asker! I've known this for a long time, just thought I'd share it here so others who are married to a similar man could see :)

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  12. Hi Willie, it is nice to hear that things are going better for you and Barney. We all do it differently and so what if Barney is not so dominant as some hohs, neither is mine but who cares and who's to say that our way is not the right way after all? Just enjoy life as it comes babe.
    Love Jan.xx

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  13. great post. I love the fire analogy. SO true that we need to remember even when the flame is low or close to nonexistent we need to remember the coals are still there. And the best fires are slow and steady...not flash in the pans! :)

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    1. Thanks Cole.

      The desire for a huge bonfire is in all of us I think, yet I think we can appreciate the heat from a fire that we've stoke a little more. At least that is what I am telling myself anyway :)

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  14. Just think about the crazy Indian Fire walkers Willie! That's all I'm saying....

    Lovely to hear things are better - you sound much happier. See what I mean about laying back and letting yourself go?

    Wonderful.

    Hugs

    Ami

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  15. Now that's what I like to hear. I love the analogy you used. It really is true, once that foundation has been laid, each time it's a little bit easier to get back on track when there is a hiccup. SO happy reading this Willie! ((hugs))

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    1. Awwwwwwww thanks Tess!

      hugs back at ya!
      willie

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  16. thanks for the words of hope you shared :-) Very nice and glad to hear your brightness! :-) Hugs

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    1. I hope things are right with you in your world Terps.

      Stoking the fire when you perceive it is only you doing it can be so difficult. My hope is that by sharing my little darkness to light episode is that others find they are not alone, and with a little oxygen they can see their fire is still able to produce warmth too.

      Big Hugs to you too!

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  17. I love your analogy. It really struck me, my favorite part, or one of them is, "What I will do is potentially damage the progress we have made if I don't breath air onto our little fire." We have to keep breathing and working on our relationships. Great post! I'm glad you're doing better. :)

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    1. Thanks Sarah

      Ttwd can be quite challenging can't it? I have known for quite some time that I can only control my portion of this thing we do. It has only been recently that I have seen results in my submitting to little things, or laying out submission options for my husband to choose which he prefers. It isn't the way some envision ttwd, but it is what seems to work for him, and as a result for us. So now instead of resenting lack of action, I must concern myself with what I might be doing to contribute to it. *NO* it isn't always just my fault, but those are the only things I can truly control.

      Sorry no idea why I wrote all that in relation to your comment...LOL. We are doing so much better.

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  18. so happy for you willie! :) it made me giggle when B gave you a "bedtime" of sorts. love that barney! he's a good one, gotta keep him!

    and you're right, this time of year we're crazy busy around here, but i had to stop and read your post. so glad i did! :)

    hugs,
    m.

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    1. Well I'm glad you stopped by too Maryanne! I suppose I'll keep the 'old guy' around. After all he knows too much ! *wink*

      hugs to you
      willie

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  19. I could comment on a dozen things but both you and Blue Bird reminded me that the little things we did at the beginning were really significant and sometimes I forget all about them. I can think of a couple things that MM loves which I used to do all the time and just don't bother with anymore. I'm going to try to do some of them this week.

    It's funny, now that I've met Barney and seen how soft spoken and laid back he can be, I can totally picture him saying "how about 10 minutes" with that little grin. I can't tell you how big of a grin I have on my face thinking about him doing these hoh'y things his own way. It's very sweet!

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    1. Well may I suggest the first thing you start with...STOP STEALING HIS COOKIES I GAVE HIM!!!!

      I must admit I had a pretty big grin on my 'shocked' face about 10 minutes after, " well I was going to spank you" and many, many, ' are you serious(es)' too! I could hardly imagine THAT as the gateway reason back into punishment spanking world..but in the words of the GREAT MM~ ( insert puff of smoke) "it is not for you ladies to decide now is it ?"

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  20. I know I just started reading your blog and am new to this but, I just wanted to say that your post gives me hope. Being rather new to ttwd, it is nice to hear that I'm not alone and that the ups and downs are not just Sir & I.

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    1. Welcome Sara, my fellow Spanky Canuck!

      I was over at your blog today. Oh no you are most certainly NOT alone. Even couples who have been at this for a very long time stumble. Um, that is not meant to take your hope away. I just mean that ttwd is constantly evolving and sometimes one partner evolves at a different speed than another. Communication is so crucial, for when I stop communicating, it appears that Barney stops asking questions. I have learned that he still watches though. This has been a difficult concept for me to grasp and has taken me a long time to believe. All part of the process.

      Oh by the way, feel free to refer me to this comment in the future when I stumble again! LOL

      Hope to learn more about you and your husband!
      willie

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  21. The moose is very cute :)

    Signed.....

    The Mountain's Wife :D

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    1. Well I know it should have been a horse, but there wasn't one. My guess, the Canadians must have eaten them all! ( long bizarre story other readers)

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  22. Hi Willie. Yea!!! Sounds like y'all are on the right track! Keep those home fires burning my friend.

    George

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    1. Thanks George!
      It feels good to be near the fire again. Here's hoping I don't get burned!

      love,
      willie

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  23. I know I commented here, Willie. I saw the post go up and just HAD to add my $2.20! Oh, well, you know me well enough to guess what I said.

    "I just want to 'make the list.'" (If THAT doesn't sum it up, I don't think anything can say it better.)

    "... we must choose our words and actions carefully." (This is what time I am on.)

    "... this IS ttWd." (caps are mine, the bold was yours but I can't bold in comments) (Yes, dear Willie, it is unique for all of us, so much so that it can be unrecognizable from couple to couple. I know we don't fit "the mold" but I don't care. I belong here because I say I belong here.)

    I hear you. Can you hear me now? ;-)

    Luv ya. Hugs...

    Irishey

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  24. Hey Lady

    Who on earth would tell you you don't belong? I'd pay to watch the goings on after that!

    Yes making the list is something we all want. Both us wives and our husbands! That is where I was faltering ( hey even angels can be self centred every once and a while...)

    And well choosing our words and actions carefully....WAIT? I said that? Huh....must be trying to give myself the power of suggestion!

    Oh I hear ya...boy do I hear ya!

    Loves ya too!
    willie

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  25. You're so clever, I love the fire building analogy. Hang in there...I think you're really starting to see what your husband needs to keep fanning the coals.

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    1. Oh Barney tells me I am 'clever' soooo often. Hmmmm?

      Thanks Stormy, I know *what* to do, now I just have to KEEP doing it. sigh

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  26. HI Willie,

    I can so relate to this post! I had my awful spiral in February this year, and the fire metaphor is perfect. I tried throwing trees into our coal, and it sadly knocked the twigs off! Luckily, the flames are back and growing ever day! I'm pretty sure we've claimed a few states.... LOL

    Happy to read this about you two as well!
    ~PINK~

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    1. Hey Pink!!

      Welcome !

      Sadly we almost all can relate to premature wood....on the fire. I think now my next step is not to get upset when the little twigs LOOK like they are going to fall over. Sigh. LOL

      Thanks for popping by!
      willie

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