Thursday, October 9, 2014

No Sense of Humour I tell Ya!



( Sorry I haven't answered the comments on my last post.  I will try to get to them soon.  I promise we have read them all and appreciated the time it took for all you you to write down your thoughts! )

While talking the other morning, I inadvertently confessed to something I didn't think was an issue.  You see I am a bit of a spider monkey.  I climb everything to get at what I need.






  I was laughing telling Barney that MM would have been having a bird the other day.



  I was standing, one foot on one banana leaf stool ( yes we really have them) and one foot on the other, paint roller in hand, painting, singing loudly and poorly to Van Morrison's Into The Mystic on the radio.





B " You shouldn't really be doing that"

W " Why I have always done it?  and I have NEVER hurt myself"




B " Well stools aren't meant to be stood on"

W " Pfft says you.  Our dining room chairs and stools have a greater surface and base than your step stool.  I have almost fallen off of your famous step stool"

B "  That is because you are not used to using it."

W" Because I don't NEED to...I am fine on the chairs"

We went on to talk about the ladder for the attic

B"  It says right there, " This is NOT a step" ( referring to the print on the top 'step' of the ladder)

W " So because it SAYS that I shouldn't? "

B " RIGHT"

W " Nothing a little piece of strategically placed tape can't cure"  





B " Sigh you are like Tim at work"  and he goes on to describe someone at work who never uses even a chair but a TABLE to do things.  He then starts in on how he uses a chair in his office, or GET THIS shelves ( that are not going to fall over) at work.

W " Hold the phone.  So YOU are allowed to use chairs and even SHELVES but I can't?"

B" Yup it isn't fair, but you knew that coming into ttwd. "

W " Well THIS is ridiculous.  I have never hurt myself.  My track record should count for something"

B " Yet. "

W " YET??? I may never"

B  (smugly I might add )" Well now if you do your bum will hurt.  Besides I am more athletic than you are"

W scoffs!  " You are so NOT! "




B " I can throw a football better than you"

W" What does that have to do with anything?  I can walk/run faster and longer than you can"

B" That doesn't count"

W " Why not?  If you judge a runner's athletic ability based on swimming, he's not going to seem very athletic"

B " It is not the same thing"




W " What do you know? ..............  You're just a dumb jock! "




52 comments:

  1. I love this. The photo of B working out nearly choked me with laughter. Thank you for the morning giggles. I needed that!

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    1. I still giggle when I look at it. He hasn't seen it yet. As you know, his arms are about that size....( I kid! )

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  2. "I can throw a football better than you" Bwahahaha!
    Loved the first one. Right now, I hoist Little Man onto the counter to reach things for me. :) I have a ladder back bar stool that I refuse to get rid of. I can put a smaller step stool on the seat and reach aNyThIng I need.
    Cute post!

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    1. I know right? Man logic. He might as well said, " I can press the buttons on the remote better than you" pffft! I have no little men here.that I could still hoist. Somehow I don't think retrofitting any step stools would be great for me either Rogue!

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    2. Lol! You could get them to hoist you:)

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    3. That's an image I'd like to see. You could dedicate an entire post to faulty Man logic.

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    4. Just what are you getting at Leah? Middle boy is 5 foot 9 or something already. His feet are WAY to big for the counter.

      As for your post suggestion, that would be disrespectful. I'd hate to be accused of disrespecting someone else's HOH/husband/Dom/Master/Owner/ Supreme Ruler and Over-Lord/ Gand Poobah/ etc..etc...etc...

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    5. I must be lost. I thought I was on Willie's blog.

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    6. I am turning over a new leaf. Of course I wrote this before I saw Ros quoting, " sarcasm is the poorest form of wit". ( she's for it btw)

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  3. You know your main problem? You need ceilings that are so low I can reach them to paint them without even going up on tiptoe!

    I must be more loopy than normal today, because I was thinking "What the heck is B and W? Shouldn't it be Q and A? Then it suddenly clicked into place.

    As far as wobbly ladders are concerned, I am only allowed on ladders if Dan is around. He doesn't forbid me from going up them, but he likes to either keep an eye on me that I don't go too high, or he has to stand on the bottom rung. The joys of life, Willie dear. It does my head in, I can tell you.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Ceilings? I wasn't painting the ceiling. I was painting the wall. I know my personality is huge but I am not! LOL.

      Happy you could navigate your way back here after so long Ami ;)

      love willie

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  4. I probably get myself into many awkward positions when painting but Zeke doesn't pay attention to stuff like that. So far I've never fallen off a ladder (touch wood) and hopefully I won't.

    cheers.

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    1. Give Zeke time Paige. There are many things Barney didn't pay attention to two years ago. THIS of course is *ALL* MM's fault!!! He has the obsession of both feet on the floor. Somehow it rubbed off on Barney. It is most inconvenient and I don't care for it at all !!!

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    2. No kidding Paige. Last Christmas Willie was up on some confounded chair, decorating her Christmas tree...late at night and without any sort of adult supervision. I was chatting with her (not sure how she was managing that) and my husband was attempting to go to sleep beside me. I'd giggle and he'd ask what was going on. He finally propped himself up on one elbow and said in all seriousness something to the effect of, "Oh for goodness sake, would you tell her to get down from there and put both feet on the floor so that I can go to sleep." Then he literally flopped down on his pillow and sighed heavily as she and I continued to cackle away. Poor poor men.

      Willie--His likeness to the cartoon character is growing greater every day, much to his silver headed chagrin, but when I read him the post this morning and showed him the picture you got a complete belly laugh--something that doesn't usually happen before 5am. I say we challenge the lot of them to a "touch" football game (they touch, we tackle) and we will see who goes down.

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    3. ACTUALLY, I was standing on the damn step stool , and my skirt got caught on the loopy handle thing and I almost fell into the darn tree! That is when I said to you I realized that the song Deck the Halls had swearing it it that was edited out! Ya know...Fa la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and all that jazz. Probably because some HUSBAND got the idea that the way his wife was decking the halls for decades wasn't SAFE and insisted she use some stupid ladder!

      I then switched to the MUCH SAFER dining room chair!

      Ah the belly laugh. Too bad we won't be together this Thanksgiving so I can fill the belly more, for a heartier laugh!

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    4. Oh and wait a minute, what is this late at night stuff? YOU DON"T DO late at night. It was probably 8:30 ! LOL

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  5. I was standing up on the kitchen counter trying to get into the cabinet above the fridge one day and Levi came around the corner and yelled out, "What do you think you are doing?!" He scared me so bad that I nearly fell off. He then tried to use that as a reason that I shouldn't do it! It was his fault I tell ya!

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    1. Yeah that logic is as about as strong as Barney's football throwing one.

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  6. Thanks for providing my big LOL for the day. So loved the pictures along with the story. So creative you are Willie..

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    1. Hi Annabelle! So nice to see you again! Happy you enjoyed my silly post. I used to do TONS of them. I might have to start jotting these things down more often.

      Thanks!
      willie

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  7. Yep, I know I have been MIA for awhile. I hopefully will resume posting soon now that life's issues are resolving. I have missed everyone.

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  8. Hi Willie,
    You are so lucky that you have a head for heights and can climb on stools, ladders etc. Mumski is so ladder clumsy that last time she fell off the first step, I refused to spank her for a week!

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    1. You tyrant ! I am clumsy when it comes to ACTUAL stairs in our house. My favourite activity is falling UP them. But climbing on stuff. I've got it covered. Our boys are the same.

      Good to see you around Don!

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  9. I was standing on the bathroom counter recently and a *&^&* cockroach came FLYING at me. I nearly fell off.

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    1. ACK! Well that might do it for me too! Although I have never seen a flying cockroach. I'll make an assumption.

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  10. Ha! All the time in this house! Spider monkey... Us short girls gotta do what we gotta do! And my poor little baby monkeys, well at least they can scale everything! Though when I get called out with the "you're gonna get hurt" warnings, I usually end up bruised or bleeding.

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    1. Well Chickie, apparently I will end up 'bruised' if there is an opportunity for him to say, " you're gonna get hurt' ... I was saying to someone today, THIS will be one rule I will probably forget, and then in doing so, swear~ breaking another rule! Wonderful.

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  11. Cute post dear Willie. I solved the problem of reaching things by having a son who is 6' 5". When I need something is yell, "tall boy!" And he comes and gets things for me. Was a great system until he went off to college.

    Oh and man logic. Don't get me started.

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    1. Hey Lady!

      Well our boys aren't that tall yet! Fortunately I have abnormally long arms so I can reach many things that those in my height range can't.

      ( Psst I think Man and Logic shouldn't be used in the same sentence )

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  12. LoL Willie, I love it! Well, as you can probably guess, I'm a real spider monkey myself. Even have to climb up shelves in the supermarket if I go by myself. Being up on a stepping stool cleaning windows while being plagued by a series of earthquakes is also not a good idea if you have an HoH ... just sayin lol

    Love and Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Heck Roz, I cast a shadow over you!

      Your second sentence , " Cleaning windows" let me stop you right there! LOL and then the rest is just nonsense!

      Love to you too!
      willie

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  13. I have my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh too loudly. The kids already think I am nuts. I cannot believe how stubborn you are. Poor, poor Barney. Now, I am not saying that we are old but our bones are a little more breakable then before, we have a harder time bouncing back after a fall, and bruises on other parts of your body, besides your bum, well it isn't as attractive. The advantage of being a short and being a mom is to use your children to get things up high. They can clean the top shelf, or get the jar down from up high, or change a light bulb. The kids that are taller than me, at my house, all get a kick helping me reach something and love to tell their dad how they are sooooo much taller than their mom. Stay off chairs, they are meant for sitting on, stay off counters and tables - your feet do not belong there, and please stay off the top step of the ladder.
    Yep, I am such a good friend that I am a mother b---ch to you too. Now be a good girl and let the boys get the wine bottle and glass down from up high and enjoy being short.

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    1. Sigh...I wish you were more like BLUE BIRD!!!! LOL

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  14. Um.... I don't see what the problem is Barney. She has been doing this her whole life (as have I) and you are just now taking notice?! Well seriously, nothing much is going to get done now. Unless you do it. ; D

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    1. I KNOW RIGHT????? I tiger can't change his/her stripes. Nothing is going to get done is right ( when he's home shhhh).

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  15. Men will never understand that value of chairs and butter knives. A woman can do practically anything if she has access to those two things...'nuff said!

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    1. OMG! You are so wise Cygnet! Truer words have never been spoken. ( Now Barney will comment on falling and stripped screws, but pay no attention to him)

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    2. As I said, men will never understand... :-)

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  16. I am quite familiar with things of this nature. I run into trouble when I forget I am not a teenager anymore (or even an adult with a body that works correctly!) and jump down from up high because it sounds like fun, or try to jump on the trampoline for too long.....I'm a natural dork :-) But sometimes, like you, I get banned from "normal" activities too. When I point out, like you, that it's never been a problem or that he does it too, I always hear, "You belong to me, it's my job to keep you safe, learn to live with it." Gosh, don't we have some understanding men!

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    1. Well River, what Ash says is kinda sweet actually!

      But I still don't get Barney's reasoning. I mean if we are talking dangerous behaviour where I *actually* get hurt, then she should really ban me from walking UP the stairs! LOL

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    2. All I can say is...thank God I'm not the only one who does that! And Barney should build an elevator for you :-)

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  17. Willie, Sorry to be so late to the party, but better late than never I reckon.

    I understand Barney's motivation to make sure you don't fall on your ass and hurt something, but I am equally guilty as you when it comes to doing all those "stand on the top step that is not a step" kind of actions. I admit that sometimes I wait until I am alone so Nina won't fuss at me! I intend to continue on with my "preceived by Nina risky behaviour" because I am confident I can pull it all off with no catastrophic consequences. Heaven help me the day I fall on my ass and Nina laughs and says "I told you so"!

    Good luck, good balance and sing loudly as you leap from stool to countertop!

    love,
    George

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  18. Never seen anyone dig themselves into a hole from a stool before.

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  19. C'mon Ros, I am multifaceted. You should know that by now. LOL

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    1. Hi Willie, this kind of discussion sounds so familiar, and hubby also objects when I climb onto chairs and tables … and jump down again after a job well done. I am fully with you, if it really were dangerous behaviour, but no! Besides, Barney’s and hubby’s reasoning is probably faulty, as a chair or table can be much safer than one of those small step stools, can’t it? But it is so sweet that our HoHs care enough.
      How did Barney take the ‘Dumb Jock’ comment? Are you going to challenge Barney to a track and fields contest? The winner could choose freely whether to use a ladder or a chair when climbing up somewhere!

      hugs

      Nina

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    2. Hey Lady...
      I am honoured you spent some of your free time to visit me! Barney laughed at my dumb jock comment ( although not as much as I did) Our entire conversation had an air of tongue and cheek to it actually...Well until later when it had an air of hand and cheek! But that really wasn't about the stools, 'just' r/a.

      Track and field? Good Lord, our argument was quite silly because even though we aren't overweight we certainly aren't in 'shape' LOL As you can tell by his example..." throwing a football"!

      I was thinking about being a lion tamer for Halloween. I get to use a chair AND a whip! Now do you think I can convince B to dress as a big cat?

      love willie

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  20. Willie,
    I'm sorry I'm so late to comment..I needed to take a break for a bit.

    You're so stubborn, I LOVE it! LOL I'm not that short, and he's only a couple inches taller than me, so I've been known to climb a couple counters. I need to get things done, and I don't have time to wait (that's what I tell myself) I've done it very pregnant, and even before DD that was the one thing that made him lose his mind, but this dynamic makes them even more protective, and that's always a good thing...I think :) Hope you're doing great, and Happy belated Thanksgiving!

    Hugs :)

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  21. Jannelle!!!!

    And here I thought you were in Disney. I am sorry you needed to take a break~ that is a great assumption on my part I suppose.

    You know STUBBORN has surfaced as a descriptive word to sum me up a LOT since we started ttwd. IMPATIENT is another one. Sounds like we are familiar in that regard. I mean it takes a whole 3 more minutes to locate, set up, use and put away the step stool!

    Thanks for the Happy Thanksgiving wishes!

    Love
    willie

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  22. As you know I don't usually have that problem being 6 foot with orangutangs arms!
    I am also health and safety coordinator at work; this means that when I see other teachers on chairs or tables I tell them that they shouldn't do it, they should be using a step ladder, but to be sure not to climb more than 3 steps up as they haven't been trained on 'working at heights'! They nod, I smile, job done, they carry on , I walk away.
    I have been known to stand on a chair on a table in my classroom to get to the projector or dangle something from the ceiling, but at least I have a certificate that shows I know it's wrong!
    My boys were great at climbing kitchen work tops as I would confiscate noisy toys and pop them on top of the high cupboards, that soon became a useless activity!

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    1. Hey Janey, long time no see!

      I have been 'blessed' with orangutan arms myself. Which you know makes it so much FUN trying to by anything with sleeves. " Fortunately' my shoulders are pretty much nonexistent so that gives me a little wiggle room, although the shoulder part is midway down my arm! Bwahahaaa.

      I love your story about work! Bwahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Our boys were monkeys. With incredible balance! They come by it naturally I suppose~ must be from my athletic husband ;)

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  23. Lol they really aren't ever fair, are they?! This made me laugh, thanks for sharing the convo. :)

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    1. KENZIE!!! Where the heck have you been? I've been inquiring about you! ( I suppose I could have just emailed you myself..sheesh)

      Happy this made you laugh!

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